I learned two new things, via Mom’s cooking experiment gone wrong, on Thanksgiving Day.
Do not attempt to microwave garlic cloves. They burn.
If you did #1, whatever you do, don’t throw the partially burned clove onto the fire in the fire place.
I’m more confused by the motivation for #2 than #1, but trust me, don’t try either. The smoke from burning garlic is extremely causic, and it hurts your eyes terribly. They’ll burn, redden, and a profusion of tears will roll down your cheeks.
Do not take the seasoning bag for the shirmp your dad is cooking, stick it up by your nose, and inhale deeply. There’s cayenne pepper in there. It’ll burn like crazy for the 45 minutes or so.
No eating one day, then eating a good meal and going to donate blood is not a good mixture.
No, I didn’t feel bad or dizzy or nothing. I was just fine, it was my vein. It does not like to be poked and prodded, I only gave half a unit before the tech moved it (for the umpteenth time), and dislodge it from the vein.
Okay, so last Sunday I went into work. It was really boring.
So, sitting alone in the office, I stuck two pencils under my upper lip (FANGS) and two in my ears (HORNS) and then sat at my desk going “Raahhhr! Raahhr!” like a monster while I worked away on the computer. (I watch too much Buffy).
Realizing I was being stupid, even with no one else around, I decided to remove my “fangs” and “horns.” When I reached up to my one ear, I accidentally hit the pencil and gave my ear a jab!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Sonuvabitch! Ow! Ow! Ow!
I had visions of going to the ER and having them ask if I’d jabbed myself with a Q-tip and pictured a nurse scornfully reminding me “you should never put anything in your ears!”
Luckily, I did no real damage, I can still hear fine and I didn’t need to go to the doctor.
I learned that even when you follow the cake recipe exactly, and the two 8" cake pans are barely half full, still put the cookie sheet under the pans in the oven, cause they sometimes still rise to high and spill cake all over the oven bottom, where they like to burn. :{
[sub]So, I used the chocolate ‘pudding’ filling to make a pie, and managed to save enough of the cakes to frost and make a chocolate cake instead of a chocolate blackout cake…both were yummy.[/sub]
I learned that you should check (and double-check) to make sure that your turkey is fully thawed. Major inconveniences abound if this isn’t done.
Also, do NOT put too much water in your cranberries. I made this mistake, and had to temper it with lemon Jell-O, the only gelatin I had in the house at 6 in the evening.
This week’s lesson: Do not go for your first Driving in Traffic Experience™ the day after Thanksgiving! Especially when the designated route takes you past all the shopping malls.
No cars were dented, but my psyche was seriously damaged.
I’ve learned that no matter how certain you are that things will go smoothly when you update your OS you should never EVER listen to your smug over confidence.
I’ve also become resigned to the fact that I’ve eaten over 30,000 meals in my life, perhaps even close to 40,000, I will still bite myself on my tongue and, more painfully, my inner lower lip on a fairly regular basis.
I learned two things.
First, always have a mechanic check out a car BEFORE you spend every penny youve saved for a year on that car. Lets hope it lasts until tax refund time.
Also, try to avoid leaving a full glass of soda next to the keyboard… because this is wwwwwhat happpppens wwwhen the keyboard gets sticky…yes, those wwwere supposed to be single periods.,…