This week's Room 101 list

Well, there was this one customer I had to deal with a few days ago.

Ya see, we didn’t have any of the cheap-ass phones she was looking for, and I was very polite about it…

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have any of th–”

Evil Bitch: “SORRY isn’t going to help!

Ah. Okay.

“I don’t have what you want. Yes, I knew you were on yer way over here, and I hid them all, just to piss you off. dID IT WORK?”"

Can we bump her up into the rats-chewing-yer-face-off line?

Tell me about it. There is no such thing as “one question”. Whatever answer you give leads to a chain of “Okay, so…”

“Do you have [item]?”

“Yes, we do; it’s over there.”

“Okay, so, this is on a bridal registry list…Okay, so, if I buy it now, will it be erased from the list so no one else will buy it?..Okay, so, do you do free gift wrapping for bridal registry items?..Okay, so, where’s gift wrap?..Okay, so, can I use a Discover card?..Okay, so…Okay, so…”

I thank the Great Being every day that I’m no longer in retail just for that reason. Nothing like being out of stock when The Bitch walks in to ruin your day.