Those blood sucking....

The BBQ Pit
1

phlebotomists!
I HATE blood tests! and THIS time, I had to take this damned thing 'cause the low life, bottom dwelling, scum sucking, waste of oxygen that I divorced 14 years ago tested positive for Hepititus C, and my doctor, wanting to be on the safe side, ordered up tests for both my son and myself.

So, I have them set up for the Hospital, not a lab, since the chances of getting an excellent technician are better at the hospital (where they’ll be taking blood from the elderly, babies etc.) I go in and tell the lady at the counter “I’m a hard draw and needle phobic” two watch words that they look for so they’ll give you to the best tech. I’m called back, and I mention again “did they tell you I’m a hard draw and needle phobic???” No, she says, but it doesn’t matter.

well ** excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse ** me! It matters to ME. This sorry excuse of a tech ties me off, sticks me, pokes around for a while, then hands me off to the next tech. You see??? IT DOES THE FUCK MATTER!!! So, she’s responsible for the bruise I’ve got at the crook of my left elbow. The Second technician ties me off in mid arm. sticks me, and doesn’t get enough blood to test. so ties me off at the wrist and pokes my hand. finally gets enough to test. She’s responsible for the 50 cent piece sized bruise I have on the top of my arm, AND the bruise on my hand between my knuckles.

Since I work with junkies for a living, it’s especially good that I have “tracks” today.

my whole left arm is sore. Pisses me off. I TELL these fuckers that I need the best, 'cause after dozens of bruises and multiple pokes, I KNOW THE FUCK WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!!! Even the best leave a bruise on me, but at least I’d only have one fucking bruise for one fucking blood test!

please be gentle. I’ve had a bad day. This is my first posting to this forum, and I’m not accustomed to swearing.

2

I hear you bro! (or sister)

I’m not needle phobic but I hate blood tests. I have to get one later today. What really sucks is when the doc calls you and says the lab didn’t do an ordered test, so you have to go through it again.

3

My Mom has cancer, and she goes for blood work every 2 dats. Usually you cant see a mark. They are really good there… but sometimes, she gets the ‘butcher’, and comes home sore, with bruises.

I know they have to practice, I understand they best ‘needle-givers’ were rookies once, but I dont want them to practice on MY MOM!

They should get to practice on convicts or something.

4

Boy, does this sound familiar. I’ve actually had pretty good luck with lab techs, but watch out for those life insurance examiners. I’m not needle phobic, but one woman a few years ago nearly had me on the floor. I swear it took her 10 minutes of digging around and I ended up with huge bruises on both arms. Butcher. When I increased my coverage last year I gave the examiner ONE chance and that was it.

The best thing about being pregnant was temporarily having veins that could be found.

5

Oh man, do I hear you. I have “bad” veins too, and getting an IV or blood drawn always takes forever.

When I had child #2 in January, I got to the hospital at 8 cm dilated and they insisted on getting an IV in. They finally got it in while I was pushing 45 minutes later, for God’s sake, and then pulled it out an hour later. Yeah, that was really fucking useful. Both of my arms were bruised below the elbows from their attempts.

When child #1 was 6 months old, his pediatrician decided he needed to be checked for anemia. Never mind he had absolutely ZERO signs of it! She also flat out refused to have him tested with a finger prick, saying a venous (elbow stick) draw was much more accurate. It took 2 nurses and me to hold him down.

Oh, and he wasn’t anemic either, and we fired the ped.

–tygre

6

And then there’s the one, who, when I’m desperately not watching, says, “Uh-oh.” Two seconds later the wall across the room is splattered with my blood.

Now I’m scared of needles, and ask for the infant-size. They hurt less.

7

I get pretty good treatment now. But that’s because the first time Two-Ton Tillie with the square needle took my blood I fainted.
Never fainted before. Didn’t even believe fainting was for real.
Three cheers for Kelli’s vote for new lab tech’s training on convicts. a) the new techs need to practice. b)prison hospitals need trained people. c) the fresh tech would learn r-e-a-l fast about empathy (if only to be empathic with him/herself) when sticking a convicted killer.

8

Well, I’m pissed for another reason.

Those fuckin Phlebs have drawn so much blood out of my left arm(apparently the default arm), that I’m very scarred up and a “hard draw” now. They can’t pull blood from my right arm cause I have a pesky nerve in the way.

So now an unexperienced tech takes fucking minutes to get a good CBC and drug level, and I end up with a huge bruise on my elbow, just like the OP. Ya, and then mister “inexperienced and I can’t understand a word out of your fucking mouth” Phlebotomist fucking wraps an 8" piece of tape around my arm! WTF?

Bah! :frowning:

-Sam

9

Why do they think they know better than I do?? I couldn’t draw blood if my life depended on it, but I KNOW that the best place to get my blood is from my left arm outside of my elbow… I TELL 'em and I TELL 'em and they STILL ignore me and do it their way, until they call in someone one else who listens and gets the blood where I told them to try. And it’s gonna happen again, because we just moved to a new area and I’ve got to get new doctors. Time to start taking them assertiveness-enhancing drugs…

10

I’ve made it perfectly clear to every person who has had the misfortune to try to get blood from me. You get one shot, and then that’s it. I leave. I’ve left only once.

My Mom… Geez. My Mom nearly killed one poor girl. Phleb came in with the Mt. Ranier sized chip on her shoulder, and ignored my Mom’s warnings (rolling, small veins, tender skin…) to her peril. She missed once, went for it again, missed that time, switched arms, missed the third time. Then my Mom, sweet gentle southern lady she is, cut loose with her temper. I came in wondering why the girl was crying in the hallway. They’d heard my Mom blow up at the girl, and rushed one of the full fledged RN’s in. Now, my Mom has a permament note on her chart for blood to be taken by a Pro, not some butcher off the street. No complaints since.

And yes, I did inherit her temper. :smiley:

11

I’ve been mostly lucky with blood draws. I have them regularly, every 3 months or so to regulate my thyroid medication. They have to search both arms every time, because you can never tell which arm will be okay.

The worst was when I was about 13. I was in the hospital and they needed to put in an IV. They decided my arms were too uncooperative so they were going to put the IV in my hand (there is almost nothing as painful as an IV in the back of your hand–they had to tie a board to my wrist to keep me from bending it). There I am, lying on a gurney, without my parents. There are 3 or 4 people in the room with me. One of them sticks me in the hand and before attaching the IV, turns and starts to talk to someone. I am bleeding all over the damn floor! At 13 I was not the most assertive person in the world and I figured someone would eventually hook me up, but no–they acted like I wasn’t there. I finally had to yell for someone to do something, and there was this big puddle of my blood on the floor. Assholes. That happened 23 years ago, and it still pisses me off.

12

Heh. I would’ve been out of the room after the first poke didn’t work. I’ve never needed more than one poke (yet), which is lucky for me knock on wood because I am severely needle-phobic–they find it hard enough to get me to hold still for the first one, they haven’t tried to waste it on some neophyte.