I had my 4th session with the counselor at Bean today. It’s interesting, every other time I’ve seen a counselor it wasn’t really because I wanted to, but because either:
A) My parents decided that I needed to see one (from elementary school on and off through high school).
B) It was a requirement of my plea agreement.
In both of those cases I didn’t go in and tell Horrible Truths which, if you aren’t going to do that, makes counseling utterly worthless in my opinion. Granted, when I was in elementary school I didn’t quite grasp the concept of a psychiatrist…
But I’ve been telling Phil ( the counselor at Bean)Horrible Truths of one sort or another, mainly about what went down between me and my ex-GF down in Tallahassee and how I really felt about it and how I felt when I wasn’t telling Horrible Truths to the counselor I had to go see as part of my plea agreement.
And how did I feel?
…Twisted is probably the best way to describe it, because I wanted to be truthful and to tell him this stuff, a good bit of which put me in a bad light.
But, if I had told him these Horrible Truths there’s a very good chance that I would have ended up spending a year in jail or at least 3 months.
Which I would not have survived.
By that I mean that I would have had a nervous breakdown.
Hell, I nearly had one when I was in jail down in Tallahassee and I was only in jail for 36 hours.
The other thing that’s cool about the counselor at Bean is that he doesn’t make it awkward if there is an extended silence. I’m not saying anything not because I’m frantically trying to think of some bullshit line or excuse or story, but because I’m honestly thinking something over or trying to remember how I felt about something.
It does tire you out though, going in and laying it all on the line.
On a semi-happy note,
Charity (the woman I like) was back at work today. It seems that she may not have had an ovarian cyst, but instead may have a pretty nasty stomach virus or infection. She’s supposed to go in for more tests on Wednesday. Apparently she didn’t stay the whole day, but left early 'cause I only saw her at morning break and didn’t see her after that.
I really look forward to seeing her when I get to work, in fact she’s a big reason that I look forward to actually going to work.
Charity’s smile is worth the west side of Heaven.