We have no idea what Obama is up to, on those 300 days a year when Congress is not there to watch him and warn the media what he is going to do.
Michigan? yeah, we’ve got more water than we know what to do with.
Of Californians? Nope. We’ve got all the guns. 
In case you might favor a particular candidate, it is our mission to bombard you 24/7 with propaganda that they allegedly support policies that will bring down our nation because they allegedly hate America and are trying to allegedly collapse it from within.
That was *really *impressive.
Actually sounds like Mad Libs, Hysteria Edition.
Obama has joined ISIS, and is leading a top secret mission to bring weaponized Ebola and herpes to the US, which he will then force us all to be exposed to through mandatory immunizations under Obamacare!
Gluten is killing us! I mean come on sheeple, according to medical skeptical & homeopathy weekly it is the leading cause of “A general feeling of mild unwellness”, IT’S KILLING US!
It also causes eyelash loss and general itchiness.
I’ve read reports of dogs and cats living together.
I’m going to go with this crazy fucking asshole and her School of Paranoid Parenting:
http://www.modernalternativemama.com/
I think this particular post of stupidity arguing against the vitamin K shot for newborns is possibly her worst piece of recent horrific fear mongering idiocy:
Only the government is telling you that Ebola isn’t airborne! THEY are LYING!!!
(Just spent an hour on FB debunking that particular stupid posted by – I shit you not – a college professor.)
I’ve been a Gozerian from the word “go”.
Putin stole my Super Bowl ring.
ISIS terrorists could just hang around in Africa for a while until they caught Ebola, then fly to the US, and then run around to get all sweaty, and then intentionally drip sweat onto surfaces like doorknobs! Or mosquitos could transmit it to us! Or it must be airborne, because how else did a nurse catch it? The government simultaneously can’t do anything properly and is also engaged in a conspiracy to hide the real danger from foreigners…er, I mean Ebola.
A coworker subjected me to this line of “thought” recently. Smalltalk in Dallas is weirder than usual.
Have you looked to see how many registered sex offenders live in your neighborhood?
They’re EVERYWHERE!!
I need some kind of armored underwear – where can I find it?
OMG! I’ve been diagnosed with a fatal liver disease! I have ten years before either it fails, or I get a transplant!
The liver disease is true, the hysteria not…