I remember a joke my daughter told me when she was 5
Daddy?
What Heather?
Whats brown and walks thru walls?
I dont know sweetie, what?
SPOOKIE DOOKIE!
I still crack up thinking about that…Kids are funny.
I want to hear a surreal penguin joke! You can’t leave us hanging like that!
Am I the only one who laughed hysterically at the "un"funny ones and not at the ones that made sense? Surely I must not be. Sensical punchlines are no fun!!
I would also like to request a surreal penguin joke.
When I was a little girl, I read in some magazine (or I think my mom read it to me; I was about 3) this prank: You put a purse or wallet on the ground, tie a string to it, and when someone notices it and tries to pick it up, you pull it away. My parents were forced to chase my tiny, purple, plastic purse tied to a piece of green yarn down our front hallway and into my room for weeks. I have no idea why I thought they fell for it. Or maybe I didn’t and just enjoyed torturing them; that’s probably more likely.
That had me spraying Iced tea on my monitor. 
Thanks for the laughs before I head off to beddybye guys.
IDBB
Oh…
Knock knock?
Who’s there?
Jesus?
Jesus who?
Jesus who do you think it is? The pope?
I think listening to little kids laugh is just the greatest thing. Especially giggling fits.
I think the funniest thing about little kids is that they’ll usually laugh at real jokes, but probably 99% of the time they have no idea why it’s funny.
My family always used to watch this satirical comedy show here in Canada called This Hour Has 22 Minutes. Lots of political humor, etc… that my (then) five-year-old didn’t “get”. He always laughed, but I think it was more because the rest of us were laughing, so he figured it was supposed to funny. I still remember the first time he “got” a punchline from that show.
It was a skit that was a take-off on an “ER” commercial. They had a mock-up of the opening credits, and then the skit started. This isn’t the script, but a general paraphrase/in the spirit of the original:
My family (me, my sister, my mom and dad) all laughed - we thought it was pretty funny. My little brother’s sitting on the floor in front of the TV and he sits there thinking quietly for about 20 seconds. Then he ERUPTS with laughter and giggling. I don’t think he stopped for at least 10 minutes. He actually GOT the joke. He’d just learned enough of the alphabet/phoenetics to understand it. I think it was a revelation to him. “Wow! So this is what a “punchline” is!”
“So, the penguin and the polar bear are walking down the street and then they see a crocodile and the crocodile EATS THEM except the penguin because it lives in the snow and so does the polar bear and then a dinosaur ate the crocodile! Hahahahahahaha!!!”
For full effect, imagine this being yelled by four year old Cranky Jr. as he runs back and forth between the room you’re sitting in and the adjoining computer room.
Ah, yes. Preschool humor. Nothing else is quite so… something. And giggle fits are indeed a joy to behold.
The Skeezling’s current favorite:
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Car!
Car who?
Poopie!
She slays herself. This is almost immediately followed by:
Knock knock, Poopie here!
Much giggling ensues.
She’s not so much eliminated the punchline as she has eliminated the middle part of the gag. And the audience participation thing, for good measure.
My brother and I invented this game also, but we had the all imporant rule that you couldn’t name the same place twice. So games would go like this:
France!
Ecuador!
Rome!
Ethiopia!
Argentina!
Alaska!
Alabama!
Asia!
Arizona!
Africa!
Antarctica!
Uhhhhhhhhh
(When I was seven I looked at the ‘A’ page in an atlas and memorized a bunch of A places that didn’t also end in A. I started winning after that.)
My 5-year-old cousin came up with the following hilarious gem:
Me: Knock knock
Him: Who cares!!!
He also interjected the following remark, which I consider hilarious:
Me (to his sister Miriam):What do they have in Miriamland?
Miriam:Animals
Him:ANIMALS??? WHAT IS THIS RUBBISH???
Azerbaijan!
Just when Soupo starts to “get” the whole joke concept, Katcha turns three. Yay.
Why did the donkey cross the road? (“Cross the road” jokes are BIG right now.)
I don’t know, why did the donkey cross the road?
I don’t know! Hahahahahaha!
Perhaps this may help…
Well, in a moment of unwise hilarity, I made up a little ditty and sang it to my then 4 yo son:
Here on Planet Poopy
Everything is brown
Here on Planet Poopy
Everybody frowns
Here on Planet Poopy
Everything is stinky
Here on Planet Poopy
Everything goes [fart sound]
So now we get to hear that song in the car, at restaurants, in the mall, etc. Plus, as a bonus, he taught it to the kids at preschool, who in turn delighted their parents with their earnest renderings of this classic tune…
:o
I’ve heard these before - this one is followed by:
Me: Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree?
You: I don’t know, Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree?
Me: It was stapled to the first one.
And then:
Me: Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree?
You: I don’t know, Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree?
Me: It was also dead.
And then:
Me: Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree?
You: I don’t know, Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree?
Me: It thought this was a game.
You get the idea… best told at 4am or after lots of drinking…
Grim
Supposedly from my Nephew, this happened on a desert highway about 10 miles from Las Vegas:
“Daddy, why’s the boro crossing the road?”
“I don’t know…why’s the boro crossing the road?”
“I don’t know either, but shouldn’t you be hitting the brakes?”
Long car journeys with my 5-year-old brother. He made up a rather sinister song:
Orry arry orry arry
Climbing up the wall.
One, two, three, four
[beat] And killed them all.
For about seven hours non-stop…
Whereas my parents made a tape of my own three-year-old joke, still in their possession:
*Itsy bitsy spider
Climbed up the DADDY!
(Hee hee hee!!!)
Humpty Dumpty
Sat on a DADDY!
(Heee haaa haaa!!!)
London bridge is falling down
Falling down, falling DADDY!
(Hahahahahahaaaa!!!)*
I babysat two kids last night, one six and one ten. The ten year old presented his brother with an enormous carpet beater, stood him in the doorway then proceeded to point at random places on the carpet and scream “THERE!, THERE!, THERE!”. The little one would fling himself at wherever his big brother pointed, smacking the carpet with the carpet beater and doing his fair share of screaming.
This went on for quite a while, and had me in stitches. Eventually I asked the six year old what he was supposed to be hitting. He looked me straight in the eye and said “Carpet Beetles. Are you thick or something?”, along with the most scathing look imaginable. Then he went back to his thwacking and screaming.
My son loves this one (he’s four, so maybe exempt):
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he got shot be Al Qaeda! He will laugh so hard at himself, which is what gets everyone else laughing.
He also likes to start this one: Did you hear the one about the priest and the rabbi? No finish is neccesary when you hear this from a 4 year old.
“Better than ham, isn’t it?”
The four 1/2 year old son of one of my friends told this little gem:
Kid: Knock Knock!
Adult: Who’s there?
Kid: Mr. Monster.
Adult: Mr. Monster who?
Kid: He’ll burn your house down!