Warning. This might creep you out if you don’t like stories of buzz saws, meat carrots, belly hair and strange medical procedures.
My friend chopped off his thumb at the lower knuckle with an electric Skilsaw.
They gathered up the thumb piece and rushed man and stub to the hospital. They sewed it back on and placed a handful of leaches to the tip in hopes it would be ok -ugly, but ok (he said he didn’t really mind the surgical leeches. He thought they were kind of cool. That is until he woke one morning to find one had migrated to his ass). The reattached thumb was too mangeled and died on his hand. They cut the old thumb off and attached his hand to his belly. I think there was a time between lopping off the stinky black thumb and turning him into “I’m a little tea pot”,. but I don’t really remember. I suppose it isn’t important to the story.
However, this might be a good place to add this. When I asked him what it feels like to chop off a thumb with a Skilsaw, he said it really didn’t hurt like you would expect it to. It felt like someone smacked his hand with a baseball bat. In fact, the Skilsaw threw his arm behind him when it caught the thumb. The thumb itself flew off in a different direction. The only real evidence his thumb had been cut off (besides the four fingers on one hand and a thumb on the floor) was the B-Movie style blood spray on the wall behind him.
Anyway, perhaps a month or so later after the meat had settled down, they unattached the hand as well as a section of his belly meat which was shaped into a thumbish appendage. This gave them some extra meat to work with. In all his nifty belly meat thumb was about twice as wide as a thumb and perhaps twice as long. We called it the meat carrot because it came to a point at the end. I thought it looked more like a meat parsnip myself. Down near the lower knuckle was a bunch of his belly hair. It was also kind of floppy because it was all meat and fat tissue - no bone or muscle.
After it healed, then the fun started.
They took his second toe (what I call the index toe) out of his foot. They didn’t just chop off the toe, they removed the entire thing up his foot. They took the muscle, bone, everything. Then sewed the bugger back up creating a nice 4 digit cartoon foot.
They filleted his meat carrot open and inserted toe. They bolted bones and stitched muscles together. Most the belly meat - perhaps 60-70% - was removed during this process. After the first operation he was left with a toe where his thumb was and a funky ring of hairy belly meat about 1 inch wide where the toe thumb meets the hand. It stayed like this for some time. 9 months perhaps. I do remember his belly meat ring got sunburned in the summer (while the rest of the hand was fine) and he joked about having to shave his thumb from time to time.
Over the course of several operations the belly meat ring got trimmed down and now only a thin scar remains.
His toe thumb took several years to function normally but now it works great. He’s rather pleased with it and is always happy to show it off. In fact, it works and looks so good you might never even notice. The only real give away is the tiny toe thumb nail. The size of the new digit is about the same as his other thumb.
So, there you go.
After all this, how about some trivia?
Q: What do you think my friends physical therapy routine was to get his toe thumb working and in shape?
A: Playing Nintendo and Sega for at least an hour a day. It’s true. Doctors orders.