Okay, so I’m sure, in some way, it’s my own fault. I don’t think I bought the wrong kind of Tide last time at the store, but maybe it was me. Someone sure as hell did.
So I’m doing laundry this weekend and I notice that the Tide (laundry detergent) we have is “Mountain Fresh Scent” or something. That’s weird, we usually get the plain old stuff, but it’s here, and it’s all we have, so in the washer it goes.
Now, I haven’t been on too many mountains in my life, but if this is what they smell like, I’m glad for it. Good god could the smell of ALL MY CLOTHES be any more potent? Or does the “mountain” in “Mountain Fresh Scent” mean that the scent is the olfactory equivalent of having Mt. Shasta itself crammed into your nostrils? Christ almighty this is overpowering.
And it’s not a good scent, either, at least not by human standards. I can only assume that it passed some kind of mechanical good scent test, because I don’t know how any human could think it would be good to smell this all day long.
Possibly unrelated, but last night I got a really awful migraine. Throbbing pain, shaking, stomach upset - and every time I’d catch a whiff of my own shirt it was like being stabbed in the head through my nose. I get migraines from time to time, but it had been a while since I had one this bad. Today I’ve got another Tide-infested shirt on and once again I feel my head starting to go bad. So it looks like I might even have some kind of a reaction to this crap.
So the only thing I can think of doing is taking this awful Mountain Fresh shit to some kind of army base where they know how to dispose of chemical warfare agents, buying some regular unscented Tide, and re-washing every one of my shirts again to get this awful reek out of them.
A minor rant for all of you, but if you were sitting where I am, wearing the shirt I am, you’d think it was way too tame.