Tide! Now with Mustard Gas Scent!

Okay, so I’m sure, in some way, it’s my own fault. I don’t think I bought the wrong kind of Tide last time at the store, but maybe it was me. Someone sure as hell did.

So I’m doing laundry this weekend and I notice that the Tide (laundry detergent) we have is “Mountain Fresh Scent” or something. That’s weird, we usually get the plain old stuff, but it’s here, and it’s all we have, so in the washer it goes.

Now, I haven’t been on too many mountains in my life, but if this is what they smell like, I’m glad for it. Good god could the smell of ALL MY CLOTHES be any more potent? Or does the “mountain” in “Mountain Fresh Scent” mean that the scent is the olfactory equivalent of having Mt. Shasta itself crammed into your nostrils? Christ almighty this is overpowering.

And it’s not a good scent, either, at least not by human standards. I can only assume that it passed some kind of mechanical good scent test, because I don’t know how any human could think it would be good to smell this all day long.

Possibly unrelated, but last night I got a really awful migraine. Throbbing pain, shaking, stomach upset - and every time I’d catch a whiff of my own shirt it was like being stabbed in the head through my nose. I get migraines from time to time, but it had been a while since I had one this bad. Today I’ve got another Tide-infested shirt on and once again I feel my head starting to go bad. So it looks like I might even have some kind of a reaction to this crap.

So the only thing I can think of doing is taking this awful Mountain Fresh shit to some kind of army base where they know how to dispose of chemical warfare agents, buying some regular unscented Tide, and re-washing every one of my shirts again to get this awful reek out of them.

A minor rant for all of you, but if you were sitting where I am, wearing the shirt I am, you’d think it was way too tame.

I get migraines from Wind Song perfume. I feel your pain.

Those “Mountain Fresh” dryer sheets smell funny to me, too. What precise chemical or compound do you suppose it is that some marketing genius somewhere decided smells “mountain fresh”?

Deer shit.

I’ve lamented about this to a few friends here at work and such and have a question: does ANYONE like this scented crap? My coworker said he’s smelled cologne that was less powerful than this stuff. Is someone out there saying, “Man, I can’t get enough of that Mountain Fresh Scent Tide! I can’t imagine my clothes not smelling like it!”

My wife uses unscented detergent and about 1/3 or less of what the box says. We still have nice clean clothes.

Mort I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that…

Odd that you should complain about the Tide though. I think it is the equivalent of Mustard gas. One of the people I worled with before I moved tried it, and wound up being allergic to something in it. His whole body was covered with rashes, and he and his wife wound up haveing to launder everything 3 or 4 times to get rid of it.

As I said in the OP, normally we just get plain old vanilla Tide. This was an error, purchasing the scented one. I thought that was kind of obvious.

Even so, you really should take it back to the store where you buy your wash-day products* and exchange it for a box of regular. They’ll deal with the distributor, who will arrange for an adjustment with Procter and Gamble.

*[sub]I love saying things like “wash-day products” (which would be a good band name, BTW). It makes me sound all '50’s TV commercially, ‘n’ stuff.[/sub]

I can’t even stand regular Tide. The only time I used it (I think it was on sale) all of my clothes reeked of petroleum. And I got an irritation on the back of my neck. I’ve refused to use the stuff ever since.

As for scented products - I hate 'em all. Between the apple-scented liquid detergent and the lemon-scented dishwasher detergent and Orange-Glo[sup]TM[/sup] and whatever the shower spray is scented with and all of the fruity/floral/whatever scents my daughter loves… GAH!! I try my best to buy unscented products, but it doesn’t always work.


I hear ya Lego-
I’ve come to the conclusion that mixing Mountain Flavored Tide with the Snuggle Bear sheets equals some nauseating combinations. I was wondering why they don’t have matching fragrances for those who prefer them.
I wouldn’t be surprised to see “Lite” scented crap on the shelves next.

I’m with Mort Furd – unscented, and between 1/3 and 1/2 of the suggested amount. It seems counter-intuitive, but less detergent = cleaner clothes. It’s a funny ol’ world.

And “fabric softener” is concentrated evil.

As for why people persist in buying that “Mountain Fresh” crap, I think there’s a subset of the human species whose olfactory capacities have been seriously compromised by repeated exposure to aerosol air “freshener.” These poor creatures can’t smell a thing unless its saturation level has reached appoximately 500,000 parts per million. My theory is that Saddam cut a deal with Proctor and Gamble to dispose of all that nerve agent that was lying around, and they’re using a 10% solution of it to scent their suds.

My other theory is that if you’ve forgotten the content and thread title of someone’s OP by the time you’ve reached the end of your own post, and inadvertantly reformulate their jokes as your own, thinking that you’re being a real wag, you should probably back away from the boards and get to work on that second cup of coffee.


I wasn’t thinking and I thought it was the same stuff I always use. Rather I buy that crap.
For quite some time (a few days) I got rashes all over my body. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, I thought it was a food allergy or something.

Guess what stuff I don’t use on my clothes anymore?

Lego, you probably don’t even have to do that. There is an 800 number on the back of the bottle. Call them and they should send you a coupon for your regular. And let them know, nicely, that you hate the scent. They’ll thank you for it and take care of you.

Not that I work for this company or anything, as far as you know.

You know, I was just thinking about this the other day. Opened up a carton of Ariel (FYI, the UK equivalent to Tide), took a sniff and felt the lining of my nostrils turn red raw from the scent. Not even a refreshing, pleasant scent at that, just artifical and chemical-like. Who actually likes that?

But let’s not blame P&G. Blame the idiots who don’t know how to do laundry properly. If people didn’t mix loads, overstuff the washer and run everything through a cold cycle, their laundry would actually smell clean when it was finished. Ergo, there would then be no demand for pungent scents that make clothes smell artificially fresh.

But no! You haven’t experienced the aroma of clothes dryers venting indirectly into your living quarters.

The stink! The unwelcome artificial smells!

If my co-apartment dwellers had to inhale the exhaust of the BS they put into their wash, I bet even as many as 10% would have the intellect to switch to something else.

With fewer perfumes. Fewer chemicals they’ve never heard of. And which they haven’t the slightest, most miniscule concept of what effect they have on human and plant life.

The FDA. Worthy of our support. And of additional funding.

Once, while at the laundromat, a busy-body noticed I was washing using Arm & Hammer unscented.

“Oh, dearie, that won’t get your clothes clean. Here use some of my Tide with Mustard Gas Scent” as she starts to tip the box to pour it into my machine.

I gently but firmly restrain her, explain I am TOTALLY FUCKING ALLERGIC TO TIDE and please don’t do that.

Five minutes later, she’s offering me scented bleach!. “But, dearie, it will make your clothes smell nice…”

I don’t want my clothes to smell like anything BUT clothes. Nothing else. Just cloth. That’s it.

OK, move to the dryers. This idiot is going up to my machines and putting HER dryers sheets in MY machines!!! WITHOUT ASKING!!!

Oh, I lost it. I channeled the spirit of FURIOUS HOUSEWIFE, grew six inches, sprouted fangs and horns, and


You know, when she started crying, I didn’t really care. For one thing, I was kinda busy sucking on my asthma inhaler so I could keep breathing. And when the cops showed up they told her that, since I had told her mutiple times that I was allergic and not to do that, she could be charged with assault with intent to harm (I think that’s what they called it - it’s been awhile)