I did the deb ball thing, and had a couple of proms associated with high school, and in college I managed to fit in a couple dances organized by the frat of the guy I was dating at the time. My first wedding was an interlude in the housewarming for our apartment [we invited the guys in John’s division on the Spadefish] and my second wedding was a justice of the peace special with my parents throwing a reception a month later for their friends. :dubious::rolleyes:
My friends Max and Sandy had what I consider to be a perfect wedding - local church they both attended, and the party was in teh banquet room behind the USS Chowderpot in Hartford [we rented a hotel room at the neighboring hotel.] They had a good DJ, open bar, and buffet dinner. I think the whole party was about 150 people [tiny for an italian bride :D] and they made sure to have something nice for the vegetarians, they had an amazing lasagne [italians heh] and they made sure they had broiled filet of sole meuniere for those who didn’t want to carb load or eat beef. Lots of different salads, and the table decorations were dried flowers in the wedding colors. There were a couple cameras on each table, and everybody got a cute little split sized wine bottle of wedding colored m&ms with a custom printed ‘wine label’. There was a brief flurry of professional photographer between the wedding and reception to get the assorted portraits for an album and then no more cameraman.
Nobody had to travel, everybody had a blast, and it was small enough to not be annoying. The food was excellent and the DJ played requests and no chicken dance =)
So… what do you bring? Something gender-neutral off the gift registry, or do you bring two gifts? As in, one appropriate for a boy and one appropriate for a girl, and then after the Big Reveal, actually give them the “right” one, and just return the other one?
I haven’t been to a baby shower in ages. My friends are all starting to become grandparents now, so I guess there’s a chance I’ll be invited to a Reveal Party eventually.
Do men buy the whole ***it’s the most important day of your life crap ***or has the wedding industry been successful in indoctrinating only women with that peculiar notion?
Well, for most of us it probably is the most important day of our lives to that point, but I don’t think we’d freak out if the cake topper was wrong or whatever.
We flew out to the wedding of a couple of friends in France a few months ago (he’s English, she’s French living in England). They gave us all the information they possibly could about car hire and flights and sorted out some accommodation with French families for us whilst we were there. They couldn’t have done more to make us feel at home and we certainly didn’t resent the bit of money that we had to pay out.
Pity the other couple we went with spent the entire time comparing everything about the wedding to their up and coming nuptials in 18 months time! They’re the second couple who have done that at other people’s weddings and I just find it horrendously rude.
I actually think the book in lieu of a card thing is nice. A card is going to be a few bucks anyway and will either get thrown out or stuck in a box. A book is only a few bucks more, can be personalized from the giver, and will actually be used by the child. Just buy a cheaper gift if it’s that big of a deal.
And having the shower a few months early isn’t a big deal either. Mom to be may not be feeling the best or all that social in the last month, might have travel restrictions or other complications, and/or may be trying to avoid scheduling conflicts.
You and me both. When I married the second time (yeah, what the hell was I thinking?), my fiancee, more than once, dismissed my wishes for our ceremony and such with “You’ve already had your wedding.” I should have bailed right there. I would have saved myself years of heartache.
I’ve made my intentions of never getting married again very clear to my girlfriend. I will make a lifelong commitment to her but I will not enter into such a contract with her or anyone. I know at some point I will probably be pushed into it. I told her that if we ever get married I insist it is in Vegas. A drive thru wedding chapel with Midget Elvis. She said she has no problem with that.
I think It’s really important, but that’s about the actual commitment, not the party.
I mean, come on, it’s a party. Unless your family and friends are really boring people, some burgers on paper plates, a keg, and a DJ who can field some popular music from the last few decades is all you need for a rip-roarin’ soiree.
Precisely. What I find mindboggling are couples that are willing to spend thousands and thousands of dollars on one day in the life. And I’m still really curious as to the male perspective on the issue. Do men think it’s the most important day of their lives as well?
Not sure that ‘most important’ is how I’d view it. For me my wedding day was another ‘key moment’ in my life that marked the end of one phase and the start of another. Add it to the list along with leaving home, graduating, buying a house etc. Sure it’s important but I think becoming a father was more life-changing than getting married. For me getting married was more putting an official (legal if you will) stamp on an existing situation.
I figure that if you view your wedding as the most important day of your marriage then your time married is likely to be dissapointing as its only down-hill from there.
For sheer stupidity though, in Australia last year the average spent on a wedding was $36,000 :eek:
This at a time when a lot of people can’t even afford the deposit on a house.
It certainly is an important day but the details of it aren’t; that seems to be the big difference. Really, after the ceremony let’s get to a rental hall, tell the DJ to crank it up, fill up your glass and party with your friends.
I’m part of a group of seven friends who’ve known each other since we were teenagers. Six of us got married within four years, including three in five months in '07. The brides ranged the gamut from cool to THIS IS MY SPECIAL DAY.
We were at the reception for wedding #1, and during dinner Bride #3 leans over and says, “You know, these bridesmaids dresses are nice. You all can just wear them for my wedding, too.” (since the same people were all in her wedding). I repeat this story as an example of being a cool bride. . . and I have had people react with horror (“She had bridesmaids dresses from someone else’s wedding?!?”). It’s not a toothbrush.
Bride #5 had a groomzilla. He was worse than her or her mother. He had strong opinions about every single petty detail. So it does happen.
I have never heard of this! I’d love details if you (or anyone who was there) can remember.
btw, another guy here. I loved getting married, because my best friend and I were putting on a party for our friends. But I didn’t care one wit about the details. All I cared about was “Will there be enough food?” and “Can all the fun people make it?”
I’m planning my only wedding now. My beloved butthead is the one who is paying for this and is totally onboard with that. I don’t want a 3,000 dress that I’m only going to wear once. I think that a Vegas wedding with a rented convertable and an Elvis would be very cool.
This is not what Bill wants. His first wife wanted the big white wedding and he couldn’t afford it. Now he can and its what he wants.
My feeling about this…its the start of our new life together, so if that’s what he wants, that’s what he gets.
He’s perfectly rational about everything else, so he gets a pass.
