This happened today. Would it kill you, newspaper reading guy on the train in the seat next to me, to manage to read it in such a way as to not keep hitting me in the face with it and elbowing me in the side every time you try and switch pages? It is indeed possible to fold it in such a way as to prevent it. I know, b/c that’s what I’m doing.
Melodramatic, cryptic Facebook statuses. If it’s important enough to share, just go ahead and be clear about it.
People who don’t pronounce the “t” in “often” or “soften”. It’s sitting right there, so say it!
You realize that’s a rule invented just to be pedantic, right? It’s definitions b and c.
Nuthin’. Mitsumata with you?
Yeah mouth noises, especially over the radio where the microphone is RIGHT THERE in front of the mouth, are gross. Never listen to a Bill Bilichick press conference 
And I know what you mean about… creamy sounding. My wife was playing a podcast once in the car (I forget what it was, exactly) but the two hosts were making more saliva mouth sounds than speaking sounds. I lasted about 15 seconds before I made her switch to something else.
For words that sound stupid, I’ve always hated the sound of ‘lover’. {shiver}
Oh, and the main reason I replied - I’ve noticed more and more that younger people dont close their mouth when they talk. I go to customer sites a lot for work, and often run into 20-something year old IT people who have only been out of school a few years. When a group of us go to lunch, I often find that the proportion of people younger than I (34) who chew (or worse, speak) with their mouth open is higher than folks of similar age or older than I.
People who say “I could care less” when, in fact, they couldn’t.
People who say “irregardless” instead of “regardless”.
Newscasters/sportscasters who make the normal sound incredible: “Why that’s the biggest tornado that’s been reported around here since last year!” Get a life.
Okay, I’ll bite (:D). How do you speak without opening your mouth?
YES, omg. I have a couple of these people on my friend’s list. I wonder if they’re waiting, refreshing every two seconds, just hoping somebody will ask them to elaborate.
I hope nobody ever does.
Grimace + Barney = Hell.
People (kids usually, but not always) who post lots of Facebook photos of themselves that they’ve taken of themselves without taking the time to use a photo-editing program and crop their hands that are holding out the cell-phones/cameras they used to take the picture. Pretend you have friends who will take a picture of you!
Oops. Twice!
I dont know what happened there - somewhere a couple wires got crossed.
What I meant to say was that I have run into more and more people who chew with their mouths opened - and sometimes these people also try to talk while chewing.
(now I’m all paranoid that I still screwed that up).
When the grocery checker makes me wait while she reads the cover of my magazine and then wants to chat about the stories. Worse yet the other day the checker actually opened up the mag and started browsing through it while I stood there waiting for her to charge me for it. She was showing me all the pages she liked…guh.
The nerve.
I have another Facebook one: page suggestions. Facebook has recently suggested that I “like” the “I love Being Black” page. I did it even though I’m white. It was also suggested I like “I love Allah” and “Jesus Christ” IN THE SAME SUGGESTION BOX, so I liked both of those, too. I also like Skittles, Vin Diesel, Dane Cook, Oreos, Poison, and the New York Yankees.
I really do like Oreos, though.
I love this thread so much I joined just so I could reply to it!
I get irrationally mad when I’m waiting in a line somewhere, and the line moves but the person directly in front of me doesn’t scoot up. I want to put my hands on their back and shove them as hard as I can!!!
That gap in the line makes me crazy and infuriates me, for no good reason. So happy I finally got this off my chest!!
this reminds me that people getting off planes make me furious. it takes way longer than it should to get off a plane (I started to say it takes 50 times longer than it should to get off a plane, but that sort of exaggeration may be someone’s big vent on here, so I won’t do that to you) When the plane is finally parked, verybody jumps up and gets their stuff and seems ready to go, but when the door finally opens, only the first person moves. only when that person is moving does the second person move, etc. EVERYBODY GO! if everybody would just start walking, the entire line would move faster and we could get the hell off the plane- arghghghghghgghgh! I can’t stand it! and this line is made up of people who were slipping off their seatbelts and sneaking their bags out from under the seat the second the wheels hit the ground. cannot.deal.with.it.
I’m currently at work, and being reminded of another irrational hate of mine:
I hate when people drive up to the hotel, ask for the room rate, and then go back and sit in the parking lot for 10 or 15 minutes deciding what to do next. I know that they’re calling nearby properties to ask for rates, or discussing with their spouses whether they can afford the rate, or deciding whether their one-night-stand is really worth 53.99 plus tax. I really do understand. But while they do that, I can’t do much else - can’t mop the breakfast room, can’t clean the coffee urns, can’t go to the bathroom or catch up on the latest episode of “America’s Next Top Model,” (since the TV is in my office, in the back.) Makes me all Grrrr! and stuff!
And it’s even worse when they finally conclude that they DON’T want the room (as just happened.) Yeah, buddy - waste 15 minutes of my life waiting for your cheap ass to decide that she’s not worth it! (I especially love it, though, when these folks leave my hotel - an inexpensive brand - and drive across the street to check on the far more expensive brands there. They don’t want to pay rates ranging from 49.99 to 69.99, depending on the night/demand/type of room, so they think they’ll get a better rate at the full-service Holiday Inn? (Rates from $89.00 to $134, depending on night/demand/type of room.)
Sometimes when I’m in traffic or in line and the cars/people move up, I like to sit there. I just stare at the gap, daring it to close itself. It’s like a battle of wills. It’s not that I like the gap; I hate it. But that’s the point. It’s like putting your foot under your chair and leaning on it. It’s like “how long can I stand the torment?”
There was one time where I actually started breathing really hard and sweating while waiting for the light to change. BARELY made it.
A slightly different traffic irritation: Waiting a long way back from the light, it turns green, and some bozo stomps on the gas so he has to stand on the brake.
Another one showed up AGAIN at work this morning. If you’re going to open a box, open it all the way, dammit! Don’t open one flap, or worse yet, one end of both flaps! We’re talking about plastic tape here; it isn’t hard.
Okay, here’s another one: assholes in gigantic pick ups, complete with trailer (in this case, a 10-15ft flatbed), going through the drive through.
I get behind this guy at DQ and right away I’m like “You dumb son of a bitch.” because I already know it’s going to be some big deal; it always, always is. Our DQ is set up so, between the menu board/intercom and the pick up window, there is a hairpin turn. You cannot easily maneuver this drive through with a long car, never mind this dickhead’s set up. To compensate for the turn, he came to the intercom pulled away from the building and then got all confused when nobody came on to take his order. He actually GOT OUT OF HIS TRUCK, looked back at me with a shrug and a confused look like “I don’t know what the problem is!” which made me want to punch him more than I’ve ever wanted to punch anybody EVER. Then he KNOCKED ON THE FUCKING INTERCOM.
And what I wanted to do was get out of my car and flip out on him because, honestly, how fucking stupid are you? YOU’RE NOT ON THE SENSOR, STUPID!!!
So, instead of moving his ass and pulling around to park and go inside (his girlfriend was already in there, presumably to use the bathroom as she did not purchase anything), he got back in his truck and pulled around to the pick up window to place his order there. SERIOUSLY.
And you know what he got? A fucking BLIZZARD.
It reminded me of the time I went to the White Castle drive through with my brother and we wound up behind some gigantic pick up driving asshole with a pop-up camper thing. It took 45 minutes (and you never realize how long it’s going to be until there’s somebody behind you and it’s too late) for the guy to order, pull forward (and backward and forward again because he’s stupid and can’t drive), figure out the self-service credit card thing, and get his food.
My brother, out the open window: “What the… ? ONE BAG?!”
Oo, just thought of another one:
When people ask me to repeat what I said, my initial response is: Why the fuck weren’t you paying attention the first time?
If I’m standing in line for more than 3 minutes, that line had damn well better be moving in an orderly and efficient manner. No line jumpers, no special treatment, and no malingering by the people for whom we’re waiting.