Or people who use “myself” instead of “me” – or along with “I.”
I, myself, would never do that.
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As the many grammar rants we’ve had over the years demonstrate, many of us are irrationally enraged by bad English. And horrified, amused, depressed…
The rage-inducer for me is “continue on”, mostly because it’s becoming standard. I understand that language morphs and changes and blah blah blah… but some changes are more tolerable than others. I find “continue on” thoroughly maddening because it sounds so completely stupid and sloppy. The more often sources from whom I expect better* use it, the more enraged I become, because it makes it clear that it is becoming standard, and I hate it when stupid and sloppy becomes standard.
(For those who are not stupid, but merely ignorant of why this is an error: “continue” is complete. “I continued down the path” “He continued speaking” “Shall we continue?” The word “continue” is a verb meaning “to persist”, which meaning is completely contained within the word without any other words for support. “Go”, on the other hand, does require the preposition “on” in order to complete the meaning which is contained in the single word “continue”. Mangling these different ways of saying the same thing by saying “continue on” is sloppy and degrades the precision of the English language, which is always the thing that irritates me whenever something incorrect becomes “correct” through widespread use.)
I’m not sure I understand why this irritates you, but it would irritate me for the same reason all this sort of plastic, insincere, bullshit irritates me: it’s plastic, insincere bullshit handed down from the marketing and PR assholes on top purely as a way to massage the bottom line, and I have no patience or love for insincerity ever, but I am especially irritated by it when it’s so blatant AND it sucks up my time when I’m trying to get some results, which is when I most often encounter it.
In fast food places I will often order a hamburger and a drink. I don’t order fries, because I don’t want them.
The fact that they are asking me if I want fries with that is a minor annoyance. I realize it’s mandated by the bosses, and that they check on it, and that you can get in trouble for not doing it. As stupid as it is (I assure you, if I wanted fries I wouldn’t have forgotten to mention that) I can deal with it.
What absolutely drives me into a temporary psychotic rage when I am asking for a hamburger and a drink and they interrupt me after hamburger to ask me if I want fries with that. You really need to let me finish ordering what I want before trying to pin down if I’ve forgotten anything.
Bumping extremities on things. Particularly my elbows, because that HURTS. Ditto dropping things on the floor. Dammit, things should just stay where I want them to, and move out of the way when I need them to!
I haven’t gotten this in awhile, but it annoys me at work whenever someone complains to me about how crowded it is. You came here on a Saturday at 2 PM, wtf were you expecting? And besides, what the hell am I supposed to do about it? Ask half the people here to leave? Maybe YOU should do that instead and see how far it gets you. Or, better yet, ask me about the times when it tends to be less busy, and come back then. (The answer is usually “weekday evenings.”)
Accidentally pulling/leaning on the cord on my headphones and yanking one side off my ear.
Older men (it’s always men, and never anybody under the age of about 50) who stand with their hands on their hips such that their elbows are not only splayed out, but splayed out behind them so they can’t see who they’re poking with them.
Chatspeak: “u,” “ur,” “ne1,” etc. Oddly, “LOL” used to bother me but doesn’t anymore, though I refuse to use it myself.
I’m trying not to take this personally, perhaps it’s just a coincidence, or perhaps the planets are aligning and something is up with this year…harumph.
Dropping things annoys the shit out of me. I must drop 20 items a day; towels, pens, pieces of paper. It irritates me because I have to pick them up. And that involves, you know, bending over.
mmm
For me it’s people who ride their bikes on the sidewalk. I get that mostly they’re doing it because the bike lane is one way and their point B is on this side. I also get that they’re scared that some cell phone chatting, latte guzzling, SUV driver will scrape them into curb juice if they use the bike lane. It’s not even hard to step aside so they can pass, it just makes me crazy mad.
When people (and advertisements) say “gift” instead of “give” as in, “Gift your wife this lovely diamond pendant this holiday season.”
Geez, why can’t you just say “give”. Saying “gift” doesn’t make you sounds clever or educated, it makes you sound stupid. Gift is a noun. Give is a verb.
Whiny, narcissistic children who insist on making loud noises so Mommy and Daddy (and the other grownups) will notice them. And when they finally get your attention, that self-satisfied look of a “toddler on a pot” irritates me too.
Drivers who do not acknowledge a kindness when you give it. Pausing to allow them into traffic or to merge, letting them make their turn before I go straight. Would it kill you to just flash your lights or raise a hand? Screw giving them a ticket – I want them to do jail time!
I hate it when people read to me, especially at length. Give me the fricking book or article or cereal box. We don’t want my elementary school education going to waste, do we?
Even more irrational - when people have a coughing fit. I feel this awful urge to smack them on the back and not in a helpful way either.
A class I took in graduate school, which was taught by an adjunct instructor, had a required textbook. Which the adjunct instructor never once opened nor made reference to in class despite assigning readings from it in the syllabus every week. It turns out that the last time he’d taught the class, he’d regularly read long passages to the class directly from the text, and got his ass grilled over it in the course evaluations by every single student, understandably pissed off about having paid grad school tuition to be read to in class. Evidently, his only way of responding to this criticism (and I do give him credit for responding in some way) was to go completely to the other extreme.
I guess so. But part of me says to deal with it, it’s just noise. It annoys me more than it should, because I take quite a few precautions to avoid spoiling people’s enjoyment with unnecessary racket. Fr’instance, I ordered extra muffling on my powerboat to avoid subjecting others to excess noise. I figure everyone has the right to as much peace and quiet as I can reasonably give them. A toy who’s express purpose* is to generate excessive noise tends to infuriate me much more than it should.
*I can’t see any other reason for the existence of those type of motorcycles. If the rider wanted economical transportation they’d buy a Corolla; If they wanted the “wind in their hair”, they’d get a convertible; If they were concerned about safety, one presumes they’d wear a helmet. If there’s some marvelous feeling of freedom derived from a powerful, well-constructed bike, it could be enjoyed without all the volume.
pullin, I’m with you. I make plenty of noise myself sometimes, but only when I have to. I don’t buy expensive noisy equipment just for the pleasure of spreading it around town. I have seen Harley riders blast through the very echoey parking garages downtown just to enjoy their racket. Asshats.
My annoyance: sneezing. I’m one of those poor SOBs that sneeze when encountering bright light, so I sneeze a lot.
What really pushes me over the edge is when someone has to bless me every time. Especially when I sneeze three or more times in a row. ( my record is nine, I think)
It’s usually my kids. We have a moratorium on “bless yous” at our house. “Bless you, Bless you, Bless you, Bless you, Bless you.”
