Horns honking when people lock their car doors (especially when they lock them just as I’m walking in front of the car and they make me jump).
40+year old singers making teeny-bopper music and videos.
Advertising things appearing on my tv screen when I’m trying to watch something.
I’m sure I’ll think of more. 
I’ll limit myself to 4. I’m feeling mighty curmudgeonly today and I don’t want to lose control.
[ol]
[li]News or advertising crawls on the bottom of the TV screen that cover up important video or information, like the name of a person being interviewed.[/li][li]The use of much of my local TV newscast to whore out the network affiliate’s shows.[/li][li]The use of the remainder of my local TV newscast to tell me where to find the “rest of the story” on said local newscast’s website.[/li][li]Amazon’s stupid “Install the Amazon browser doohickey?” popup. I should only have to tell them no once, right?[/li][/ol]
Folks who accidentally set off their car alarm, then proceed taking their sweet time loading groceries into the car, only turning the alarm off when they’re done with their task.
People using speakerphone when it’s unnecessary. Just walkin’ along, holding the phone a couple of feet in front of their face, shouting at the phone while it shouts back.
I am happy to say that I realized the other day that one of my old tiny pet peeves has mostly disappeared. That “chirp chirp” and bad-walkie-talkie sound of Nextel phones featuring “push to talk.” The Nextel push-to-talk network still isn’t completely phased out, and I think other companies still offer the feature, but I can’t even remember the last time I heard anyone use it.
+1
Radio or tv ads that start with an alarm. I just can’t explain how stabby that makes me feel. Why don’t they understand that people don’t like this?
When strangers call me ma’am. I know it’s the South, and you’re trained from birth to do this. I get that, really. But damn you. I am not a ma’am. You could at least be kind and call me miss.
Tailgaters. I swear to og, one of these days…
When I’m getting tailgated, I just slow down. Gradually, so they don’t rear-end me. Once I get going a little slower than tailgater would like for a while, they will always change lanes and pass. Works every time.
Cars that honk too much should be confiscated and destroyed.
But I’ve been hearing rather less of those Og-awful infinite car alarms in the last few years. Why is this? Are they finally going out of style? Have consumers and manufacturers figured out what an obnoxious abomination those are?
People who are walking three-across towards me in the corridor and who don’t drop back to double/single-file so others can walk past.
Fucking cyclists who HAVE bells on their bikes but prefer to shout at you from behind instead, evidently unaware that it’s hard to hear somebody yelling and coming up behind you at speed. And then if I don’t hop to attention fast enough, don’t forget to look at me like a squashed piece of dogshit!
People referring to foods as “healthy”, especially when it’s a recipe instead of a whole food, and especially when it’s a Pinterest recipe with one ingredient added to crap that lets the childishly oblivious fool themselves into think something is “healthy”. Like pumpkin snickerdoodles. Or no-bake chocolate and peanut butter cookies… with oatmeal!
Healthy isn’t an and/or proposition, you mouth breather. It’s many dimensions, and a sliding scale along all of them, with the added dimension of how much you’re eating. Food doesn’t have to be organic to be “healthy” and being organic doesn’t MAKE food “healthy”.
I was on a one-lane road yesterday and someone was tailgating me and trying to force me to go even faster than the 5-above-speed limit I was going. I filnally found a place to pull over so he could pass but when I did, he stopped too. I kept wak=ving him along through my open window, but it was like he was completely unclear on the concept of* someone letting you pass because clearly you’re in such a goddamn hurry that the rest of us are just in your way*.
My irritation has to do with my work phone and the calling habits of other employees. When I am on a tight deadline with something, I’ll set my phone to go to voicemail after 1 ring. I have caller ID, though, and can’t help but glance at the display as the phone chirps at me.
Dear caller, if you insist on calling me every 30 seconds but not leaving a message, I’m likely to be that much more slow in returning your call once you do leave a message. And when you express surprise over how many times you had to call to get ahold of me, I am likely to sweetly reply, “Oh, really? I think I only got one message.”
This truly meets the OP’s requirement of irritating me out of proportion. Sometimes I’m able to force myself to just answer the goddamn phone because I know I’m only hurting myself by letting them call continuously, and if I just answer it, they’ll stop calling. Well, except for that shithead who called me to ask for the fax number, called to tell me he was faxing something, called again to tell me he had faxed something, and just plain old calls too much. Him I want to strangle.
Litter, especially cigarette butts. Is it really that hard to not throw shit on the ground?
Booming car stereos and super-loud headphones. If you think about it at all, I bet you think it’s awesome to share, but forcing anyone to do something involuntarily is kind of mean.
Parking across two stalls. There’s usually plenty of room, I just don’t like cheating. [Or I should say “the appearance of cheating,” since I don’t want to rehash the arguments of those who think it’s a legitimate practice.]
Since ads aren’t controlled by a human being any more, they often cut in the middle of a sentence: UGH!
Series which have a sort of advance before the credits, then a recap of the previous chapters after the credits, and which end with an advance of “things to come”. So why do you watch, you ask? Because it’s Mum’s Series and her living room is the only one with a clear table.
People talking about difusing a situation. It’s dEfuse, damnit. As in “taking the fuse out of an explosive (situation)”.
I call tailgaters ass-kissers, cos they are trying to kiss my car’s bum.
My irritation is iOS games that regularly bombard you with notifications that basically boil down to “Play me!”. I realize that this is the very definition of a first world problem, but dammit, it’s bad enough to get pop-up ads in my browser, I don’t need pop-up ads on my mobile device for products I already own.
I’m irritated all out of proportion by tailgaters, too — but the kind who sit on the side of the road, drinking themselves blind, playing “cornhole” and acting like Supreme Assholes in preparation for a football game.
My office is located adjacent to a SEC university’s football stadium and these people start the day before the Saturday ballgame. They were starting on Thursday, but there’s now signs posted saying they can’t stake out their little patch of heaven until noon on Fridays. Some bring tents and camp the night before. Beside the road. Just so they can party within sight of the stadium. I don’t get ANY of it, and it makes me irrationally stabby. :mad: Hate :mad:
People who start their answering machine message by saying “hello”.
Being on the DNCL but continuing to get tons of calls, especially from PACs around dinnertime. That and on my cell when I’m trying to drive.
Tailgaters. They’ve caused two wrecks recently, one even tried to flee the scene but I caught him so he claimed I rammed his pickup with my Porsche. Uh huh, very f*c9%ng likely. Twice I’m w/o wheels for a week and two $400 deductibles because some asshole can’t set an alarm.
Bad parenting. When your kids commits vandalism, ‘protecting’ them from blame and consequences just instills the notion they can get away with crime. Some seriously short-sighted thinkin’ going on. Man up.
Homeowners Associations. Why can’t there be a Homeowners ociation?
Amateur video as news stories. I don’t mind when there’s a newsworthy event and as part of a complete package of reporting there is also amateur video. What I absolutely hate is when the news (national and local) show funny or “amazing” clips from YouTube as a news story.
It’s bad enough that they are wasting news time with this shit but also stupid-ass grainy bullshit videos on my 46" HD television.
And they must do it a lot too because I rarely catch the news unless I happen upon it at my folks’ or at the gym, but when I do catch it I quite often see one of these stupid videos.
i can’t believe car alarms still exist. Nobody pays attention to them except to wonder who the a-hole is that hasn’t shut it off yet. It never occurs to anyone that a car is actually being stolen.
As for tailgating… I’m sorry, but some drivers give you little choice. There are a lot of two lane roads where I live, with a lot of people who don’t take note of the speed limits as they change at various points. And some of us are actually trying to get somewhere. So if you’re going 40 in a 55 zone, yeah, you might see me a little close and impatient.
:gulp:
Yes, ma’am.
Seriously, though, I can’t stand radio commercials that include sounds of traffic - honking horns, ambulance sirens, etc. Don’t these people understand that I’m listening to your fuckin’ commercial while sitting in the car?
I must be getting old because noise levels are the thing that upsets me most frequently. I was at PetSmart the other day during an animal adoption event and all the people swarming and the dogs barking was echoing in this big concrete room. In the midst of the chaos, I could still pick out music from the overhead speakers. Now was that music adding anything beneficial to anyone’s shopping experience that day?
I also get annoyed a lot when I’m at the gym, especially if they’re holding a dance class. The music in the classroom is at what I would consider a painful level, plus the instructor props the doors open so it blares out into the whole space. That’s on top of the usual background music. You know, I think every single person in the gym is wearing earphones…could that perhaps be a hint that people want to listen to their own stuff? Not to mention, if I’m wearing noise-canceling earphones with my music cranked up loud and I am still being intruded upon by the music blasting from the Zumba people, that’s too much! I honestly believe that everyone who uses the gym would be happier if music volume was cut by half (in fact, I think I’m going to send them an email now).
My others are all phone peeves. I hate:
• People who can’t remember their own names, or why they called, or at least can’t drag it all together into a coherent sentence
• People who right away ask, “How are you?” Well, that depends, dear total fucking stranger, what do you want?
• People who plunge right into describing their problem in great detail before I can get a chance to tell them they’ll have to speak to somebody else
• People who ask for someone specific when in fact there are many people who could help them
• People who call me “honey”. These are always other women. Maybe they think it’s polite, or okay in the South? Well, I’ve lived in the South all my life, but I still think you’re a condescending twat, sugar dumplin’.
Gosh, I could just bitch all day.