The sensitivity on my phone, I stay hitting the wrong links/buttons:mad:!
I sometimes say, “NO!” but that doesn’t stop the insane litany of “Are you OK?Are you OK?Are you OK?Are you OK?Are you OK?Are you OK?Are you OK?Are you OK?Are you OK??”
I really want to punch the mo-ron.
Dogs and cats that lick themselves? We’d turn it into a trick. 
“C’mon Fluffy. Lick your privates. Come on. You can do it. Goooood boooooy!! Good boy! Who’s a good boy? You’re a good boy. Yes you are.”
Wow, you sound just like me with the throwing-the-keys-on-the-floor thing and the being-grabbed-by-random-drawer-pulls things. I would have posted them along with headphone yankage if I’d remembered at the time, but now I’ll just add “Yeah, me too!”
bolding mine. Flinging stuff? Really? You mean I’m not the only one who flings shit? My god, you’ve made my day.
Motherfuck, I’d forgotten that one. I’m seething in sympathy right now. Let me just add my goddamn watch chain that gets caught on jacket/sweater buttons. I get so mad I yank it to free myself, but usually the buttons are sewn on tightly enough that the watch chain breaks, and I wear it dangling like that for a few days because I’m classy like that.
And infovore’s mention of headphone yankage. Just the memory triggers a brand-new flood of profanity, which I’ll keep to myself.
Wow, I’m both enraged at the reminders of these off-pissing phenomena, and comforted that others share my ridiculous reactions…I think my head is going to explode. Which’ll probably piss me off all over again…
I’m glad others do this. Occasionally my wife will observe one of these little tantrums, and unaccountably find it amusing. Which makes me even madder. :mad:
My spouse observes mine occasionally and picks on me about it, because I rarely do things in frustration and he does them all the time. But when I’m trying to open the door to the house, I pull out my keys and they catch on my pocket or the key I want to use gets hung up in the keyring or I cascade change all over the ground, the next thing that invariably happens is that my keys hit the ground hard (in my defense, it often jars the stuck key loose faster than fumbling with it!)
Mine are noise related: I don’t want to hear slurping, smacking or any other of these types of noises. I remember needing to mute the TV when watching Buffy because when Buffy & Angel kissed they made the most disgusting noises.
I currently have to deal with a person at work who eats breakfast & lunch at their desk and makes maddening noises, no matter what they’re eating: soup is slurped, carrot sticks are crunched, all food is eaten with an open mouth and I often need to leave the area in order not to commit murder.
Really. Not to mention the “music” that apparently needs to be everywhere.
Oh, yeah. My mother-in-law used to talk and eat at the same time and all that came out was garbled slop. Between that and her cooking, I don’t know which was worse. To be fair, my dad was one for slurping, which was just as disgusting.
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People in my neighbourhood who keep taking the shopping carts home with them. Knock it off, you idiots! That’s STEALING! You didn’t buy that cart for a loonie - you only rented it for use in the store and on the lot.
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People in my neighbourhood who refuse to clean their sidewalks.
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People who throw garbage anywhere other than a garbage can. This one seriously WTF’s me - what kind of filthy pig do you have to be to not realize that garbage goes in a garbage can?
I think this one is interesting because it’s the sort of common grammatical construction/mistake that I hear a lot in Québec; either the incorrect word is used when translating from French to English or a sentence will be constructed using French grammatical rules.
I can’t even be sure that I haven’t used turns of phrases like this, even though I know the correct forms. If I’m hanging out with a lot of people who are primarily francophone but are speaking English, I think I might fall into linguistic patterns similar to theirs.
I had a moment of irrational rage the other day. I was having a clumsy day, just dropping things and having trouble with fine motor skills. I had put on a pair of flip flops to grab something from the messy storeroom, and then knocked something over as I was setting it down by the front door. In a fit of rage, I kicked off the flip flops…and somehow managed to send both of them off to the left across the room, where one hit the edge of the TV and the other slammed into the wall. I thought they’d only get kicked about a foot or two in front of me…:smack: Luckily, there was no damage to anything!
Pardon me but you are the kind of driver that makes me froth at the mouth.
Don’t stop traffic so I can turn.
Don’t stop traffic and let me out of a parking lot.
Don’t slow down an entire lane of traffic thinking that you are helping me merge.
Just drive.
The rest of us will get on just fine without you trying to direct traffic from your car.
Also, for every person in front of you who you think you are helping there are several more behind you screaming at you for blocking traffic. Check your rear mirror for gestures if you really want to know how people feel about your “help.”
The spouse and I have a phrase for this, that we got from one of our British motorcycling buddies: C3, or Courtesy Causes Chaos.
The helpful impulse is is nice, definitely, but traffic does flow a lot better when everybody just does what they’re supposed to be doing and doesn’t try to “help.”
Seconded. I don’t mind waiting my turn when I don’t have the right of way. Example: intersection has stop signs for north/south, not for east/west. I’m heading west, signaling to turn south, and stop because there’s a car coming toward me, heading east. The oncoming car stops, where there is no sign, and waves for me to turn. Internally I’m screaming, “If I accept your little ‘courtesy’, you’re making me break the rules! And if you decide to gun it and crash into me, it’ll be my fault!” Drives me nuts.
Ugh. Yes.
I have 2.
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People walking around with a bluetooth earpiece in their ear.
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The Christmas season pretty much starts the day after Thanksgiving, which is the 4th Thursday of November here in the US. It is not ok to put up your damn Christmas tree or outside Christmas lights BEFORE Thanksgiving. Christmas is December 25th. All of your decorations should be taken down and packed away by no later than December 31st. TAKE THEM DOWN DAMMIT!
There was a pretty busy 4-way street that ran through my college campus. Occasionally, the car in the lane closest to the curb would stop and try to wave pedestrians across. Not only did this interrupt traffic in that lane, but, as a pedestrian, you were now very difficult to see from the adjacent lane. If you accepted the courtesy and tried to walk, you were essentially walking blind into the middle lane. Then add in the concern that the car behind the courtesy car might not realize what’s going on and attempt to zip around the vehicle parked in the middle of the road. It’s amazing there weren’t more accidents - especially at bar close.
We take ours down at Epiphany, or the closest weekend thereto. They will come down on Saturday.
I don’t really decorate for Christmas much, but I concur that Epiphany is the proper deadline.
Watching someone eat with a wooden spoon. I have to go and get them a real spoon.
I literally cannot stand it.