I was sitting on the couch tonight when I noticed one of our kitties - the one with the loooooong, shaggy black and white fur - assume the position. You know, hunkered over, head and neck thrust way out.
HK
Uh oh. Sides began to heave.
HK HK
Eeeeewwww…
HK HK HK BLEEEEAAAAAARRRGGHHHH
Good god. The thing she horked up must have been six inches long, slimy and black, and crusted in wet, recently-masticated cat food. Joy.
I mean, I was almost proud of her. It had to have been giving her problems. I wanted to do a slow clap.
I went to grab a paper towel and the Fantastik instead.
I love the way cats barf. First they do that BORK BORK BORK thing, and open their mouths so wide it looks like they’re going to yawn. Instead of pushing the vomit forward they seem to slide out from behind it, like they’re laying down a chunky acidic carpet.