To all my loved ones and their silverware compulsion

I just had to stir my coffee with a measuring spoon. In the past, I have stirred my coffee with butter knives & chopsticks.

I do all the dishes and we’re good to go on dishes for a few days. So why do you have to burn through all the silverware in the house within one day?

I’ve seen you eat half rotted leftovers from the fridge. I’ve seen you eat half spoiled shit that’s been on the stove all night. I’ve seen you eat stuff off the floor. Hell, I’ve even seen you take old stale cookies out of the garbage and eat them.

But God forbid you reuse the spoon you used five fucking minutes ago! It might have a microscopic particle of food on it! Eww, gross!

And no I’m not going to just buy more silverware because then I’d have wash more fucking silverware. I don’t have a dishwasher. Even if I did have a dishwasher, I wouldn’t run it just so I could wash, then put away, 70 pieces of silverware everyday.


And no I ain’t switching to disposible plastic either.

Heh…my late father used to threaten to throw out all the silverware except for a knife, a fork and a spoon for each person in the house.

In college, I lived in a house where everyone had a big plate, little plate, bowl, cup, glass, fork, knife, and spoon. These items were marked (yay, Dymotape Labelmaker!) with the owner’s name, and woe to you if you used someone else’s stuff! Since we all ate mostly microwave burritos and cereal, cooking pans weren’t so much an issue. And if things piled up in the sink, all you had to do was look at 'em to see who needed yelling at.

My local Chinese super market sells individual tea spoons at dirt cheap prices. Buy a dozen then quit yer complaining :wink:

I didn’t know that you and I lived in the same place!


Honestly, it sounds just like my housemates.


When my brother was in college, he shared a house with 4 other guys. As you can probably imagine, their housekeeping skills weren’t all that.

One day, my Mom and I went to visit him and we decided to have tuna sandwiches for lunch. Bro goes to make the tuna salad and he’s hunting around on the jumble on the counter for something, and then gets frustrated and stomps over to the foot of the stairs and hollers up to his roommates, “HEY! Where’s the fork???”

Mom and I laughed and laughed. :smiley: