You know, I tried not to get too upset last month when you hauled me into your office and bitched me out for TWENTY MINUTES for the crime of wearing jeans to work. Even though I wore them far less often than anyone else in the office, and never wore them at all until I saw the HEAD OF MY DEPARTMENT wearing them, and even THEN, I only wore them on Fridays. You raked me over the coals for my dress, my bearing, my professionalism, and how I sat in my CHAIR, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like I was wearing an old, ratty pair of painters jeans. These were like-new looking pants. I’ll never forget this classic line: “Don’t try to tell me that good pants cost too much. I know how much jeans cost.”
What do you think I am, asswipe, your teenage daughter? Do you think I buy my clothes at The Gap? You don’t have a fucking CLUE how much my jeans cost. Here’s the truth: I bought the only pair of jeans I own at Old Navy for $23. I get my slacks at Old Navy for about $28 a pair. So jeans really ARE cheaper for me, you clueless fuckwad.
But today was the real kicker. You came over and gave me a mini-tirade about wearing shorts. Even though it was the Fourth of July (and I had volunteered to work on a holiday when everybody else was gone and you yourself took off early) and I would be working outside today in 90-degree weather. Whatever, you festering sore on a worm’s cock. The people I work with in the field don’t give a flying fuck HOW I dress. I stopped wearing ties when I realized it just made me stick out, and I was overdressing. The only person who thinks we should all dress like we’re a Fortune 500 company is YOU, shitstain. Am I perfect employee? No, I’m not. Are you helping me to become a better one, definitely not, asshole. It’s not like there’s some formal dress code that was announced to me on my hiring or is listed in the employee handbook. All I did was dress like everybody else. So why bitch at ME? Fucking jerk.
I can’t believe I used my one-thousandth post for a Pit rant.
But it was a good one!
So where exactly do you work? I guess I should consider myself lucky, if I ware anything nicer than jeans I’m scorned… LOL… it’s good being a scientist.
Your boss and my boss should get together one day. They can sit and talk down to each other about the way they dress, do their paperwork, etc.
Oh, and “shitstain”? I loved that! I’ll have to use that in the future. It was inspired 
Yeah, we got this new hotshot undergrad who changed majors from god knows what . . . wears a suit and tie every day. WTF? At first, I assumed that it was some kind of religious thing. I know I wouldn’t dress up everyday unless God was making me do it. But the scuttlebutt is that he’s an insufferable egomaniac, so I guess he just does it because he thinks he’s better than us jeans-and-t-shirt wearing slouches.
Good thousandth post, Lizard. Long ago, I got yelled at about the way I chose to dress by a fellow employee, not anyone in a position of power over me, just somebody who thought she knew better than me. She was another person who was obviously overdressing, probably to compensate for feelings of inadequacy. Reason number 876 why I swore to never work retail again.
Thanks, but I can’t take credit I know I’ve heard it before somewhere, and that’s how I knew it. Can’t remember where tho.