Then clearly, you are not an incredibly rude person. In fact, based on the evidence of this post, you seem to be an admirably polite one.
Now there is an example of someone who actually is an incredibly rude person.
And completely counterproductively so, as well. If he had nicely responded, “Oh, that’s okay, I understand, sorry to bother you”, you might have felt friendly and sympathetic enough to change your mind and do him the favor of giving up your seat.
By rudely and inexcusably calling you a jackass just for having declined to sacrifice your convenience to do him a favor, he merely confirmed that he wasn’t the sort of person who’s worth doing any favors for.
Tell me if this is rude, because it happens to me all the time.
I’ll be at a coffee shop, sitting at a small table for two by myself. Of course, the second chair is unoccupied. A group of three or five people comes in, and sit at a table with two or four seats. One in the party will walk over to my table, and take the second chair from my table without asking.
This one time, for 20 minutes, in the 90s, I was at a nightclub. I was sitting by myself at a table for five. Four young women asked if they could sit with me. As I wasn’t using all the seats, and because the place was getting really crowded, I answered with a tentative “Oh hell yeah!” My enthusiasm had nothing to do with the fact that they could have easily passed for Victoria’s Secrect underwear models.
And two of them were very nice. They talked to me and even danced with me. I realize that to them, I was just a place to sit (not like that, you pervs!), but at least they had the decency to pretend that we were friends. Theother two, on the other hand, were extremely cold to me. They wouldn’t say a word to me. It was clear that they were appalled that I had the audacity to sit at “their” table.
Jeezum, at least they got there ten minutes early. Here it’s always some group 20 minutes late who wants me to get up and let them pass. GRRR.
My story would be that I went to the Uptown in DC to see The Sound of Music. I got there at least an hour early to get a good seat, exactly in the middle and at the distance I wanted. Someone did ask me to move down and I said no. That’s why I got there at least an hour early. I didn’t hear any obscenities directed my way but the rows are long there and there was a lot of background noise.
The first two were certainly behaving more nicely. And if the other two were really trying to freeze you out and make you leave what was originally your own table, then yes, they were rude.
Technically, however, sharing a table with strangers in a crowded club/cafeteria/cafe/whatever doesn’t actually obligate you to be social with the strangers you’re sharing with. It’s also acceptable etiquette for the two parties to act as though they’re sitting at two separate “half-tables”, and not converse with each other any more than they might converse with strangers at other tables.
When a party of four shares a table with a party of one, though, you’re right that it’s far more gracious for them to bring the other party into their group to some extent, especially when it was the party-of-one’s table originally.
See, in that case you had a good reason for wanting to remain in the seat. But if there is less difference between two seats, moving so someone else can sit with their family or group is a good thing to do.
I tend to agree with this, even though my daughter and I were guilty of it on our recent plane trips. My 20 year old daughter is disabled (Cerebral Palsy, uses a wheelchair and walks with crutches), and hadn’t flown for 8 or 10 years, as we mostly vacation on wheels. We booked our flights online and, lacking any direction on where we should sit, I just selected seats together. I called the airline and asked if I needed to do anything special, but they told me to just book seats anywhere and the boarding agents would take care of us once we got there.
Sure enough, when we got to the airport and prepared to board, the boarding people checked our assigned seats and felt that we should sit elsewhere. They told us where they wanted to sit – the criteria being that the seats weren’t clear in the back of the plane (because she is rather slow on her crutches in a narrow aisle), that the aisle armrests be movable (so she could manuevre into the row), and that the overhead bin be long enough to accomodate her crutches. Apparently only some of the seats meet all those requirements. Anyway, we sat where the flight attendants told us expecting that they would explain to the ‘rightful’ owners of our seats what was up.
But they never did. Each time (2 planes each way to and from Wisconsin; and 2 planes one-way to Utah, so far), we had to try and explain (with a crush of people behind loading the plane) why the people with our seats had to move on to different seats. Mostly people were casual about it, but one guy wasn’t pleases, as he had requested our seat specially. To make it worse, my daughter doesn’t look disabled when she’s sitting down with no crutches visable, or sound disabled when she talks. So it looked like we just kyped his seat for no reason… We finally learned that it was quickest to say, “I’m disabled and the flight attendant told me to switch seats with you…” Still embarrassing, though.
Well, if this is the exact wording used, unless it was said in a very polite and appealing tone, does come across as a bit snippy (I’ve said it out loud several times; luckily, there’s no one else home right now). A “please” would have been nice. Or a “We’d really appreciate it.”
I’ve waited in enough lines–as long as three days, in my stupid youth–that I know the value of a good seat. If I show up too late to get a good seat, I understand that those who are in the good seats have earned them by the sweat of their brow, and I would never ask. Yes, I would consider it rude to do so.
If you have a party of five, show up early. Or at least send a designated linewater in ahead.
Anything else (apologies to Kimstu and others) is solipsistic and rude.
What was the five young ladies’ behavior after the movie started? Did they chatter incessantly with each other and play with their cell phones? Did they get up and down every 10 minutes to go to the rest room? Or did they sit together quietly and pay attention to the movie? I’m sure that would have some bearing on the OP. If they were inconsiderate to other theater-goers during the film, then I’d say they deserve a pitting. If they didn’t detract otherwise from your enjoyment of the evening, I’d say let it go. No rudeness there.
Well that’s fucking ridiculous. Next time you fly, when they tell you to sit in a different seat, tell them that you expect them organize the switch, and to inform the other people why they are being moved. That’s their fucking job, and there’s no way they should expect you to do it.
well. the correct reply would have been… “Certainly… as soon as you and or your frinds find us seats at least as good as the one we are in.” Polite, to the point and requiring a realisation of the value of the request.
regards
FML
The girls weren’t rude. They weren’t even talking to you. the situation didn’t concern you. It didn’t inconvenience you. It didn’t change your enjoyment of the movie whatsoever. The fact that you remembered it 5 minutes past the fact, let alone through an entire movie? That you carried your vitriol home with you, tucked your kids into bed with it still burning inside of you, went to bed and had enough firery rage consuming you that you’re still pissed enough to compel you to share it with the dope the next morning over a situation where one person asked a favor and another random person complied?
You’re fucking nuts. And while I’m not a doctor I’d gladly spend the next ten years double majoring in medicine and advanced physics to both get a psychiatry degree and build a time machine to bring me back to this time and announce that very point with authority.
Each time (2 planes each way to and from Wisconsin; and 2 planes one-way to Utah, so far), we had to try and explain (with a crush of people behind loading the plane) why the people with our seats had to move on to different seats. Mostly people were casual about it, but one guy wasn’t pleases, as he had requested our seat specially. To make it worse, my daughter doesn’t look disabled when she’s sitting down with no crutches visable, or sound disabled when she talks. So it looked like we just kyped his seat for no reason… We finally learned that it was quickest to say, “I’m disabled and the flight attendant told me to switch seats with you…” Still embarrassing, though.