May the flames of a thousand suns burn in your crotch from the new and creative disease you acquire from your visit to the Red Light District with my money.
May the hash buy with my money cause you to pass out so someone else can rob you, you sorry piece of shit.
May the internet create a new meme to celebrate your demise.
May your name forever more be linked with the phrase explosive diarrhea in all Google searches.
Sincerely,
Iggy
And to my bank:
Dear BankDrone,
You have denied debit card transactions at random for years now. I’ve begged you to look at my account history to understand my spending patterns. I’ve implored you to learn that I travel from our little Caribbean island to the USA and Colombia and that’s it. Transactions in those locations are normal. And yet it seems like you block those transactions if I don’t call ahead and give detailed travel dates.
And I have never since opening my account traveled to anywhere in Europe. Not even once. Not even a web purchase in Europe on my card. Never. In 14 years. And yet you didn’t query repeated withdrawals up to the daily limit in a country I have never visited? WTF?
This is why I don’t use debit cards. I wouldn’t think of withdrawing every penny from my bank account and carrying it with me wherever I went, but carrying a debit card isn’t much different than that. With so many places allowing you to swipe without signing or entering a PIN for smaller purchases, someone could easily nickel and dime you to the poorhouse.
Regardless, thieves like that should sodomize themselves with a morning star while humping a cactus.
I feel like there’s a good market for my new bank proposal: the ideas is you don’t get cashback or airmiles, but if someone scams your card, instead of writing it off a department of ex-KGB agents hunts them down and shoots them in the leg like Liam Neeson. I think the current stodgy herd of banks underestimate the peace-of-mind having a card like that in your wallet would bring.
Spoke with the fraud department at the bank today. Seems the breech was at an ATM here on island back in January! Many customers from multiple banks were affected.
I’m shocked the [del]crooks[/del] walking piles of excrement waited several months to use the stolen data to go on a binge withdrawing money last Friday.
I sympathize with you, I’m always happy when my bank is zealous about possible fraud detection, it’s a shame your bank wasn’t.
You don’t mention which little Caribbean island you’re on, but is it a Dutch territory? If so, is it possible that local businesses might have a “home base” in Amsterdam through which electronic transactions are routed or under whose name they are recorded, and therefore a fraudulent charge in Amsterdam was not so quickly detected?
Someone tagged my Paypal account for 300 bucks, but it was quickly refunded by Paypal. No fight required, just an explanation. Use Paypal if you buy things on the internet.
cmkeller IIRC, Iggy is instead in one of Elizabeth’s remaining vestiges of Empire.
As to the Bank Drones, that just shows you, how they consider that sleazeballs travel in the US and Colombia and our general neighborhood, but that a hop to Amsterdam is something a respectable person would do.
