I know for a fucking fact, that I do not have a fucking muscle wasting disease. Therefore the only fucking explaination for the fact that I can’t get the fucking screws off my fucking computer case is the existance of some fucking malevolant gnome-like beings that go around in the dark of fucking night tightening all the screws in the house with a miniture fucking industrial torque wrench. These little fartknockers perform the same fucking service on the jars in my fucking fridge. Calling you out you little shits, womano a gnomo, you going to go back to whatever fucking hole you came from with your mini-wrench wrapped around your little fucking knecks!
BloodybolloxyARSE! I fucking refuse to go up to the computer store again, and play the fucking damsel in distress, “Would you big strong boys maybe be able to unscrew my internetmachine? bat-bat” ARSE!
Do you happen to be using those piddly little “computer screwdrivers”? You know, the ones with bare metal handles that are so freakin’ skinny that you can’t generate any torque whatsoever, unless you mash your fingers into a pulp trying?
Yeah, I hear you. I once actually taped two of those screwdrivers together into a T-shape just to get more torque of them. Worked like a charm, too.
Try soaking the computer in water overnight. That may loosen the screws.
(Zebra not responsible for any damage done to your computer equipment in the event you are actually dumb enough to take computer tech advice from a stranger over the internet named after an non-computer using animal)
Gads no! Those rip lumps of flesh from my hands as I try to turn them, in the same manner as the lid of the Coke bottle does (the conniving little shits have been at the Coke bottles too btw). Eh, ok I admit, I did try one, but only in last-ditch desparation.
UPDATE: Crying copious tears of frustration over the case appears to have corroded the screws to the point where a vicious attack with the auld Victorinox got them loose. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers at this time.
PS Nutmagnet, I am pretty sure it’s an internet-machine, Andreas told me, and he knows all about internet-machines, not to mention mothermodems.
Translation of linked pic in spoiler box below. Classic.
[spoiler] Andreas Hedlund has gone through all the possible software problems. Now he has worked out that the hardware, the mothermodem, the heart of the hard-disk, doesn’t work.
Ahaha! The mothermodem, the heart of the hard-disk!
This pic is famous in Sweden, it ran in one of the larger papers, and anyone who likes puters has heard of it. It’s the Swedish equivelant of the interweb crack.[/spoiler]
Wrap some around and around around the handle of the piddly little computer screwdriver until you actually have a handle thick enough that you can grip it.
Glad to see you’ve soundly defeated the gnomes, Iteki.
I myself am cursed with a Compaq Presario with an “easy-to-open” case. By “easy-to-open”, they mean it has only one screw. Once that one screw is removed, you just hold down a latch and slide the case right off. Except that the case is so freakishly tight that even with the screw removed, the only way my wife and I can get the case off is by working together: one person holds down the latch and braces the computer while the other heaves with all of their might until the case finally comes loose, comically hurling the two of us in opposite directions.
Why the hell is it that computer companies can design faster and more sophisticated computer systems every year but seem unable to master the subtle mechanics of a lid? The mind boggles.
I haven’t heard that particular wirty dord used since I was a schoolgirl ages ago.
But otherwise…STUPID GNOMES! I think your hardware tightening gnomes are related to my remote-stealing gnomes. I put the remote for the TV down in an easy to find place, like the coffee table. I come back an hour or so later (alerted by what sounds like nervous giggles when I am the ONLY one in the house)and the remote is GONE. Only after tearing the house apart do I find it someplace odd…like in the refrigerator and once…in the bottom of the garbage can,between liner and can.It was odd I tell ya.:dubious:
So that’s where all my nice underwear AND my good socks went!DAMN GNOMES! I think my cats are in cahoots with these gnomes. They just look too…secretive for their own good at the moment.
