First off, let me start by saying that I have ultimate respect for police officers. They have a very thankless job, and it is one that I sure as hell wouldn’t want.
But…
This fucking piece of work that arrested me Monday night really got under my skin. I had NEVER been to jail before. Hell, I am 29 and did a LOT of things when I was younger that I fully deserved to go to jail for and I had never even seen the inside of a police car. I was even respectful and courteous to Officer Regas (the arresting officer) Monday night. But it really pissed me off when after he had the cuffs on me he asked me if I had any weapons on me. I replied that, No, I did not have any weapons on me. So he reaches into my pocket and pulls my keys out. On my keyring I have one of those small swiss army knives, that can barely clean under my finger nails on a good day. He held my keyring up so close to my face that he was touching my nose and SCREAMED at me that I could draw another charge for carrying a concealed weapon.
What I wanted to say was, “Listen here jackass, I know for a fact that you won’t try to throw another charge on me for my fucking keyring because the god damn judge would laugh that shit out of court. So, go grow a dick and suck it and get the fuck out of my face. Just take me to the fucking holding cell where I can get out in less than 3 hours. I won’t even be in lock-up long enough to make me jones for a fucking smoke. So either start licking the back of my balls or do your mother fucking job and take me in.”
What I said, “I’m sorry sir, I didn’t remember the small knife on my keys.” I figured that he is disrespected enough by little teeny boppin hoodlum fuckers on a daily basis, that I would continue to treat him respectfully. I can only assume that he thought I would be scared, but I wasn’t. I knew I didn’t have a serious charge on me in the first place. I mean hell it was a fucking no insurace ticket from over 4 years ago that I had forgotten about.
So to Michael Regas I want to say, you lick the sweat off a dead man’s balls. You are a cum spot on the tooth of life. I used to have a dog just fucking like you. It was the most worthless fucking animal I had ever seen. He would shit and piss in his own fucking food and then turn around and eat it. Worthless fucking animal!!!
But to Officer Regas I want to say, Thanks for doing the job I sure as hell wouldn’t want. Even though it included taking me to jail (which I fully admit I deserved since I was the one who forgot about the original ticket). Just next time try to treat the “criminal” with as much respect as they are showing you.