To the Theiving Asshole and the Stupid Bank... Go Fuck Yourselves!

The BBQ Pit
1

Somehow some mangy Silurian tetrapod cloned my check card and somehow my cloned check card ended up being used by some scurvy shyster bastard in China!

To the theif:

You thieving fetid gopher felcher you have overdrawn my account by nearly 600 bucks! I make a decent living but I don’t make enough money for me and you, you weasel fucker. I had been holding money for my credit card payment, the first payment of my new truck, money for Christmas presents, bills and just some throwin’ around money for the weekends. Now what do I have? ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY NOTHING LEFT!

I cancelled my check card as soon as I saw the beginnings of your Hong Kong love-you-long-time holiday and brought it to a screeching halt. You bovine douche-nozzle, I want you to go fuck yourself with a baseball bat crusted with broken glass and rusty nails.

You rancid, crusty, cunt wipe, I want you to spend the rest of your days chained to man that smells like a he got a permanent in the cesspool of a paper mill. Then when he is tired of you, that he drags you behind his redneck pickup through the seven layers of Dante’s Hell Burrito to a new layer of hell where you will learn that fist can be a verb. I want you to beaten so badly that you resemble a wet prune.

If you come back in another life this is what I hope you end up as. see frill pick picture No wait, that’s to good for you.

To the fucking bank:

Yes I do have credit cards and the Bank of Husband to get me by through this shit. YOU KNOW WHAT!?!? I SHOULDNT HAVE TO DEAL WITH SHIT LIKE THIS YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES! I am the VICTIM here. I deserve to be treated better than this. Especially since I have had my accounts with you for such a long time. What happened to the Value in Valued Customer??

Not only did I have to wait nearly nine fucking hours for the bank to open because, Og forbid you work regular hours like everybody else. I had to take time off of work spend MY valuable time filling out charge dispute papers, authorize the order of a new check card etc etc.

And of all the fucking ridiculous shit on the face of the planet. I am obviously not in China- I don’t even have a fucking passport. I’ve never even been out of the country. It is so fucking hard for you to believe that I am not the one making charges in Hong Kong. No I didn’t give my card number to anyone. Where was my card when these charges were made? In my fucking wallet… see here it is bitch!

And why should I have to fucking wait for you to conclude your investigation before I get my money back. If you drug your feet anymore, you would slow down on an atomic scale until all of your molecules would have to ride the short bus. You claim that the money will be credited to my account sometime between 7 business days and the start of next ice age. Meanwhile the insufficient funds and overdraft fees are multiplying faster than rabbits on Spanish Fly.

Not only do I have to deal with this bullshit from you, I had to spend nearly an hour on the phone telling you that you will put my payments through for my fucking bills. You were going to bounce my life insurance payment, my DMV registration payment, and a sundry list of other bills. Like it’s my goddamn fault you asshat! Yeah, that is what I really need to deal with you insipid cunt nugget. I also had to call my credit card company and tell them what was going on and tell them I wasn’t going to be able to make my payment this week. At least they were sympathetic. You on the other hand, are about a sympathetic as a grizzly bear with a porcupine shoved up his ass, performing in circus.

On the bright side (there’s a bright side?) I get paid on Friday… too bad it is direct deposit and pretty hefty chunk of it is going to be eaten up by the negative balance.

When this happened, I decided that how you mentally crippled troglodytes handled this unfortunate event, would determine if I continued banking with you… Well I am not staying, you incompetent fucks. Fuck You! I’m gone as soon as this shit storm clears.

2

Pbbt! Time to change Banks man!!

I had to deal with someone stealing a box of checks out of my mail. They managed to spend around 5grand before I found out about it. I normally don’t keep $5k in my checking account, but at the time this happened I coincidently also had a rather large profit sharing check from my work that was directly deposited into my checking account!! :eek:

Lucky for me though, I got the money put back into my account the same day.

I had to traverse through the myriad of paper work like you did; but that’s understandable.

I was more pissed at my local police department. After signing all that paper work and handing the case over to the police; I was curious if they ever caught the fucker. So I called them to ask. Their response? "It’s out of your hands now, you don’t need to worry about it. " click

Well, gee, thanks. It’s not like I was a victim or anything. :rolleyes:

But yeah, whatever Bank you have sucks ass. The fact that they have the audacity to tell you that you have to wait 7 to whatever business day to get YOUR money back, is absurd.

I mean, what if you DIDN’T have bank of Hubby? What then? Starve?

3

[hijack]
Sorry to ruin good vitriol, but the link in the OP was the best damn laugh I’ve had in a while. :smiley:

We now return to your regularly scheduled pitting.
[/hijack]

Adam

4

This happened to my boyfriend, too. Right when we were just about to finally get out of debt, and go out for dinner - poof! $500 gone. The bank did nothing and basically accused him of faking it.

Middle fingers all around!

5

I’m in Korea and yet I manage to make purchases in the US with my check card.

About the bank’s hours…don’t you ever use them on a Saturday, which btw isn’t a “normal work day” in most places I’ve lived. Yet the bank’s open on Saturdays and even open until after “normal work day” hours so folks, such as you and I, can do our banking there.

Now, the delay in processing the fraud report I just don’t understand. That’s more than enough to freak out at the bank!

6

I just had it out with my bank as well. Not as bad as you, but they suck harder because it was such a blatent, and fixable issue (their fault entirely).

My monthly statement arrived and showed that check number 1234 in the amount of $100 was deducted twice. It was there in black and white. I call them and they tell me they have to investigate. Investigate? INVESTIGATE? Tell me…does that involve staring at your computer screen trying to WILL the mistake away? INVESTIGATE? Is there any other area in your dog humping computer system that is going to change the fact that you deducted the same check TWICE? Is there any other remedy but to put the second $100 BACK in my account? I’ll give you investigate. How about you investigate how my foot got up your fat ass, you slacking *oh-I-forgot-to-input-the-investigation-form * loser! How about investigating the six unreturned phone calls…each one promising to take care of it right away. Fuck you and your investigation department.

Sorry…Didn’t mean to hijack your rant. Continue…please.

7

Don’t know how it is over there, but here, a typical banks operating hours are 9 AM to 3 PM Monday through Thursday, and maybe open till 5 PM on Friday. Sometimes banks are open on a Saturday, but usually just from 10 AM till noon, or 11 AM to 1 PM. ANd often times things like changing an account status or report5ing fraud can’t be done on a Saturday, because the oh-so-important branch manager isn’t there to take care of it. And any transaction done on Friday or Saturday is never credited until Monday. Unless, or course, it’s a withdrawl. Got to take away money as soon as possible, Og forbid you make an effort to put it back that quickly. Even when I hand the teller a freakin $100 bill and deposit it then and there. She can freakin SEE that yes, I do, in fact, have the $100 to deposit, yet it still will not get into my account till at least Monday. Lord help you if you use the ATM to deposit. Deposit it Friday evening in am ATM and you’re lucky if they credit it to your account by Tuesday afternoon.

And don’t get my started on online bill payments. I tell you Monday morning to take $100 and pay it to my cable company…why the Fuck don’t they get the moeny that DAY?! There is NO REASON for it to take a week. NONE! Writing and sensing a check would be faster, so what is now the point of online bill paying?

8

Online bill pay through banks is kind of a sham. Know what they do? They print out a check with their computers on the day you specify and send it via mail to the company/person you’re paying. So you pay $5.95/mo (or whatever) to “save on stamps” but yes it is exactly the same as you writing a check and putting it in the mail. The only convenience is if you are paying the same amount every week/month to the same place - you can set it and forget it.

Much quicker to use the company’s online bill pay if available. That’s going to be a direct withdrawl from your bank account, all electronic.

9

My bank’s (Chase) online bill payment is free, and if possible they do an electronic transfer, which takes 2 business days. Otherwise, yes, they send a paper check, which is 5 days. I use it as much for the convenience as anything else.

10

Years ago I shredded the ATM card. Don’t have a debit card. Two credit cards I use that get paid down every month, and I check the on-line usage about every other day.

When I need cash, I stop by the bank and see a teller. I pay all the bills I can on-line through the company’s system, not the bank’s. If that’s not an option, I write a check and mail it. Right now, that’s only for my car loan.

I thought I was just old-fashioned and lazy, but so far I’ve avoided any problems like this one.

11

Not necessarily true. Most large companies, major utilities and financial institutions are set up to receive transactions electronically from your bank. On the day that you specify the funds are electronically transferred from your bank to their bank and it’s instantly credited to your account.

Only for smaller companies or individuals (or if your bank is not in step with the electronic world) is it done by physically mailing a check.

12

You have to switch banks if they are making you pay for online bill pay.

13

[url=https://secure.montereycu.com/index.cfm?ParentID=7]How about how it is in Monterey. Here’s the operating hours of the main branch, according to that link:

That has to depend on the bank. I clearly recall seeing my bank’s manager on a Saturday, but that’s anecdotal so I’m happy to leave it at that.

Next time you’re at the bank, check that nifty sign (well, if it’s like every bank I’ve used in the US) that says “Deposits received after 3:00 pm will be credited as of the next business day” or similar wording.

As mentioned by another poster, there is a reason for it to take a week, maybe even longer: printing and mailing the check. The point of automatic bill pay is convenience.

Want a rant about banking hours? Ask why there’s any need for every ATM in South Korea to be closed every night (some, such as my bank’s close at 10 pm, some other banks’ ATMs are open until midnight).

14

fixed link

If that doesn’t work, go to www.montereycu.com and click on “locations & hours.”

15

Citibank has the exact same deal. It works pretty well. They even eat the cost of the stamp when they have to mail it. (Though I suppose they get a bulk rate or something).

Anybody who pays for checking or online bill paying is a chump. The whole point of a bank is they pay you!

16

Aw, man, having someone rob you just stinks. How in the world does someone duplicate a debit card? Criminals are getting smarter.

I don’t carry a debit card even though the bank repeatedly attempts to send them to me because anyone can “charge” things to them without a PIN, and drain your checking account in the process.

No thank you. I pay almost exclusively with cc. Not only do I get a 20 day float on my money, and great consumer protection, but I earn sweet rewards, such as free flights and hotel rooms . There are still a few places that won’t accept credit cards, such as my church (the nerve!) otherwise I wouldn’t even bother with checks at all.

Online banking is awesome. It cuts down on loads of time balancing checking accounts, plus it’s easier to manage my money because most places are paid on the day I specify. I’ve also signed up for E-billing on most of my accounts so thieves can’t retrieve invoices out of the mailbox.

17

Sorry to hear that, LV. I have an employee who got hit for $2500+ a few months ago here in the High Desert.

Let me give you some info on how you might have been scammed.

Initial headline
Follow-up headline
How they did it

I’m pretty sure that if you bank with a high profile bank, they should already know this scam by now (BofA definitely does), and should not be so snotty with you. Talk to their manager and show them these links.

18

Oh, and here is a local community board thread with our locals comiserating over the scam. It first, it looked like this scam only happened at local AM/PM gas stations here in the high desert, but the scamming had been done at other places that had ATM’s. It’s 5 pages to wade through, but might provide some useful insight. BTW, I think you are only liable for the first $50 of the scammed amount, but YMMV. Good Luck.

19

And as a warning to all (if you don’t read the links I provided), just read this part:

Ok, I’ll stop for now. I promise!

20

With most credit cards, you are only liable for the first 25 or so of fraudulent charges, if any at all. Debit cards are completely different. You can be liable for 100% of the loss. You have no protection. Your bank will not care.

Don’t use debit cards. They are way too risky. Believe me, I used to work for a credit union.

I also won’t trust my bank to pay any of my bills, nor do I like giving companies permission to access my bank account. Once you give them the permission, they can OOOPS! debit your account three times for the same charge in the same month, and your bank will look at you blankly and say “But you authorized auto debits… Nothing we can do…”

Having to pay your bills every month by writing a few checks is a pretty Cadillac level of “pain-in-the-ass” problem…