Gotta be a way to fit “USS Teabagger” in there somewhere. Or “USS Cleveland Steams to Venezuela”.
I thought my OP made clear that this was very much tradition (I mentioned the Carl Vinson and Stennis) - but that it is time to rein it in.
Maybe to you. But don’t you see how people, currently in the armed forces, who were very recently funneled dumptrucks full of money by Murtha might feel differently?
-Joe
How about anybody or anything who didn’t commit treason?
I don’t think there really are that many who don’t already have ships named after them, but Ronald Reagan was even less suitable an option than Murtha. I’m indifferent one way or the other, though.
Why not sell the naming rights to corporate sponsors? It could be some nice revenue for the military.
USS Google? USS Doritos? It could work.
Well, if this particular decision is in line with tradition, I don’t see why you’d consider it as “going way too far”. Like I said, I don’t see that naming this ship after John Murtha is in any way more “absurd” than naming a submarine after L. Mendel Rivers in the 70’s.
As you note, the Navy’s been naming vessels after political patrons for quite a while now; I don’t think anyone’s going to seriously consider abandoning that tradition.
I think some people might quibble with the USS Andrew Jackson for various historical reasons. I will note that this ship has been decommissioned for some time.
The rest are perfectly defensible - they are military or national leaders and heroes. No real controversies in that list.
I’d like to see:
USS Buttafuoco
USS The Situation
USS Lewinsky
Murtha is both a military figure and a national leader. What’s the problem?
I was going to seriously suggest James Stockdale, but Wikipedia says he recently had a guided missile destroyer named after him.
Here’s a good quote from Stockdale for today:
Murtha was a politician rather than a career servicemember, although he did serve in the military. I don’t think there’s any question that this decision would be acknowledging his patronage of and support for the Navy while in political office, rather than his military service per se.
He served in the Marines for almost 40 years. If that’s not career, I don’t know what is. He also served in Vietnam and received a Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts. He didn’t just give some token service. He was hardcore.
He was also the first Vietnam Vet elected to the House of Representatives, by the way, which is a unique distinction all by itself.
Which would a sailor rather have a tattoo of? John P. Murtha or a Titty Fuck?
Cool! Do they each get to run the ship one day a year?
“Where’s the Google?”
“We can’t find it, sir!”
“Contact the Bing!”
I’m against it. Not because of the person - I’m not entirely sure who Murtha was - but because it lacks poetry. Ships should have names that are fundamentally cool. “Constitution” - that’s a good name for a ship. So are “Monitor”, “Hornet” and “Enterprise.” “Murtha”, though… the thing about a ship’s name is that it’s also the “team name” of its crew. Who the hell wants to be a member of Team Murtha?
This sounds like a true American spin on the British tradition of putting glorious or intimidating names on warships. I think we can make a British-to-American translation of ship names:
HMS Illustrious = USS Titty Fuck
HMS Triumph = USS Dirty Sanchez
HMS Archer = USS Get R Done
HMS Dauntless = USS Can o’ Whoop Ass
HMS Invincible = USS America… Fuck Yeah
I don’t know, it might be kind of fun to say “We’re going to berth the Murtha”.
Even worse is when they use the full name with initials. USS Murtha isn’t a great name but I like it better than USS John P. Murtha.
This is the best idea you have ever had. I anxiously await the launch of the LCS GoDaddy.com. Plus I could totally see an aircraft carrier named USS Just Do It, or a cruiser named USS Must-See TV.
You know that’s not the worst idea ever, but you’re thinking too small. A ship steaming out of the harbor should look like NASCAR starting line.
Tide, Viagra, Godaddy, Pepsi, Coke, have them all plastered on there.
Naming rights to the biggest sponsor.