If you’re buying sliced bread of any kind, complaining about the quality of the product is like a similie I’m too drunk to think of. But you may get my point anyway.
I threw out my toaster and now indulge in butter both sides first, brown to toasty crisp buttery goodness in a pan. So much better, anyway!
The OP’s oven doesn’t have a ‘broiler’ setting
Well, I guess I won’t be suggesting the rotisserie toaster.
Maybe he is a Brit from the future. 
Does anyone want any toast? (Red Dwarf’s hate of toaster manufacturers.)
Yes, that’s what I want, an obliging toaster.
What I do not want is to buy another toaster, a double-decker toaster, to buy a second toaster to put on top of my existing toaster, to use a special over just for toast, to use a conveyor-belt or car-wash based toaster, a rotisserie toaster, or anything involving mysterious “settings” for an oven (which I imagine to be similar to “temperatures” on my oven).
What I do want is to bring down the evil toaster conglomerates. To tear their ill-gotten profits from their gaping maws. To send their designers back to wherever they learned to design toasters, or possibly somewhere where they can learn to do it properly. To establish a compensation scheme for their victims and to extract from their share-holders, those who have benefited from this villainy, the means to establish a new toaster regime, in which the toasters on the world toast bread properly, evenly, and thoroughly and in which each toaster comes with a complimentary toast rack.
I will therefore be writing a letter to my MP.
Get a big sheet of asbestos, and pound two nails into it (about eight inches apart should do just fine).
Get a blowtorch. When you want toast, impale the bread on the nails, fire up the blowtorch, and get to work…
If you turn the bread on its side, doesn’t it fit then, without leaving an untoasted top edge?
Would that it were, but the toaster isn’t wide enough to contain the bread if I put it in sideways, as it isn’t tall enough if I put it in properways.
See, that’s your problem! My parents always toast their toastie sideways on in a larger toaster.
Me too! I go through a lot of toasters, and the most recent one couldn’ hold anything bigger than a hydrogen atom.
Joe
When I did have a toaster, it was a bagel toaster. Pretty much toasted everything, including sandwiches. If you must use a toaster, I recommend the bagel style.
Best Answer. Not necessarily the most useful, but best.
Second Best Answer. Same as above, but no dogs.
Write a letter to Black and Decker. Include the dimensions of your favorite bread. I’m sure they make a toaster that will fit the bread you have.
I have a toaster oven. It does toast, hot dogs, baked potatoes and so on. It’s much more useful than a toaster, and I could very nearly toast an entire loaf in one go.
The source of your pain stems from an inability (or disinclination) of the toaster designers to communicate with bread manufacturers. Many, if not most, engineers are book-smart but real-world stupid. They design things like toasters with an oblivious disregard to the dimensions of actual bread. After all, the manufacturer’s standards book has the “official” standard of bread dimensions, so why refer to actual bread?
But not for bagels, which vintage toasters are useless for. I picked up an early 1950s-ish GE toaster at an estate sale last summer for $10. It’s beautiful, and in nearly mint condition, with even the original cloth electrical cord being intact. It makes perfect toast. However, try loading it with half of a sliced bagel, or even bread sliced more than a centimeter thick. Can’t be done, unless you step on the bagels first. Bread must have been sliced much thinner back in the 1950s.
At the time the Toast-O-Lator was introduced, eating bagels was a sign you were a Fellow Traveller, or worse.