Today, I met the American Woman.

Today, I met the American Woman. Insecure, desperately lonely, and in search of a “good man”, she lives in a state of uninterrupted discomfort. A product of the American desire to “have it all”, Kim is frustrated by her unhappiness, despite her new breast implants, Mercedes, and trip to Vegas. All the men she meets are “losers”, but she finds it impossible to turn them away for fear of being alone.

She lives in perpetual fear, in self-doubt. She asks input from her friends and casual acquaintances for her every next move, from ordering her next meal to breaking up with the “creepy guy thinks my house looks Asian.” The mere suggestion that her house looks Asian is enough to throw her into a fit of befuddlement and distracted anger; her small piece of Middle America is assaulted on all sides by the suggestion that something she does breaks from the norm.

Kim asked me why finding a “good man” is so hard. I told her that a good man doesn’t want a materialistic, shallow woman. She left for the bathroom with dilated pupils and a quivering lip; she returned with darkened mascara and a cautious smile, thanking me for my honesty.

Somewhere tonight, Kim is fretting about, wondering why she hasn’t picked up the phone and told John that she wants nothing to do with him. She’s wishing she could come up with a lie good enough to avoid the harsh reality of telling him “no”, and crying herself to sleep because she lacks the willpower to be who she wants.

So, is Kim cute? Can I get her number?

Well, that was interesting. I think most American woman could find something about Kim they could relate to…or very many things.

Now I’d like to see a discription of The American Man. Would he like to see a description of himself after reading about The American Woman?

I think you met an American woman.

I’m an American woman, and I’d avoid sorry-ass Kim like the plague.

Yeah, you met an American woman. I did, too, and she is so unlike your Kim, there’s no comparison. That’s why I asked her to marry me. Broad strokes much?

When come back, bring smaller paintbrush.

One American woman will never speak for all.

I’m an American Woman, too. Kim needs therapy, and you need to stop thinking one woman represents us all.

On the upside the OP sounds like the start of a novel.

Somebody had to do it

*American woman, stay away from me
American woman, mama let me be
Don’t come hangin’ around my door
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin’ old with you
Now woman, I said stay away,
American woman, listen what I say.

Sounds like your friend is a cast member of Sex and the City ! She’s channeling Carrie Bradshaw.

Yeah, I actually thought the stereotypical “American Woman” that the OP was referring to was the one from the song. I don’t think he’s saying that all American women are shallow, insecure, and materialistic. (Well, I hope not.)

I’m always amused when I hear that song, knowing that it’s by a group of guys from Canada.

Ginger, I always hear the Lenny Kravitz version in my head… I’m such a bad Canadian. :frowning:

The “American Woman” to whom the ineffable Burton Cummings refers is in fact the Statue of Liberty. It’s an anti-war number.

You got a cite for that (Statue of Liberty)? I’ve never heard that.

For my money, she’s channeling Charlotte :wink:

I met the stereotypical “fourty but single” mid-life crisis American Woman. I would’ve explained, but it’s not very good for flow.

Coherence is *so * unpoetic.

Dammit, Homebew. Well, okay…

You paint your head.
Your mind is dead.
You don’t even know what I just said.
That’s you, American Womanhood.

First Yankeedoodle gal for you then, Mr Sakamoto? :rolleyes: