Today Mr. Clean kicked my ass

The other day I went and bought a Mr. Clean car wash kit. It is an attachment that you put on the hose that has a reservoir for car wash soap, and a demineralizer for a spot-free rinse. It seemed like a quick, cost-effective way to wash my car, and I figured it would pay for itself after a few uses.

Today I finally tried it out after work. What a disaster! Here’s how it went down-

I changed out of my work clothes and put on a t-shirt and shorts, a wise decision. Barefooted, I went out and attached the wash kit to the hose, pulled out some slack on the hose, turned on the spigot, and walked out to the driveway to wash my car. Here’s where things started to go wrong for me. I had naively assumed the on/off valve would be in the BACK of the sprayer. So the on/off valve was facing me when I opened it. Unfortunately, I was holding the sprayer BACKWARD so I basically shot myself with a torrent of water that felt like it was coming out of a fire hose. I was so startled by this that the ‘fight or flight’ instinct kicked in- instead of thinking, “I’m getting soaked by the hose”, I was thinking, “I’m in danger! Kill it!” so I threw myself down on the lawn wresling with the hose while it continued soaking me. Despite dropping my glasses and having water in my eyes, I somehow managed to shut the water off. Across the street, a little girl saw the whole thing and laughed so hard she fell off her tryclicle :mad:

I shut the water off, but I still heard the sound of water spraying. This confused me for a second and then I heard my mom’s SO screaming at me in a rage. I run back and see the damage I have caused- Apparently the hose pressure was so high, that the hose, weakened from laying out in the sun all summer had sprung a leak. When the water was running the leak wasn’t too bad, but I shut the valve on the sprayer quickly, creating this high back-pressure which blasted a dime-sized hole in the side of the hose, sending a jet of water *directly in the open window * of his room. So my mom’s SO was in his room on the computer, window open because it was warm outside, and he gets struck by this jet of water which inexplicably came in through the window. Since I told him I’d be washing my car, I was the immediate culprit.

So he comes storming out, wet and pissed off, and tells me to go get the other hose and use that. He then angrily slams his window shut and goes back inside. I meekly grab the hose from the backyard, hook it up, and finally proceed to wash my car.

The rinse/soap combo works pretty good, and I figure I’m in the clear. Then I switch it to ‘spot free rinse’ which basically routes the hose water through this filter cartrige. This way I don’t have to phsically dry my car with towels. Sounds great in theory. Except that apparently the water can’t go through the filter very fast, but the VERY HIGH HOSE PRESSURE seems to find every friggin way it can out of the sprayer, which means the instant I switch to ‘filter’ mode, water is shooting out of every crack, crevice, and gap in the thing, soaking me even further. Whats worse, the actual filtered water spray is this piddly little trickle which is a pain to use. But I somehow managed, and washed my car quickly.

To add final insult to injury, when I went to remove the hose to put it in the backyard, I unwittingly turned the spigot the wrong way (instead of turning it off I turned it full blast) so when I unscrewed the hose there was water spraying everywhere; enough water was on the dirt to make a mud puddle which of course I slipped in as I frantically turned the spigot off…when I got back inside I was as dirty as my car was before I had washed it :confused:

I had to laugh. There is beauty in a dirty car.

Didn’t your mama teach you that dust is a protective covering? :smiley:

I thought Mr. Clean died years ago.

I was told he had ammonia.

Well, sure. Have you seen that guy? He looks like he works out…