Toilet Paper

[Spiderman]

@jtur88

I haven’t used TP in a decade.

@Leaffan

What exactly do you use?

There can only be three possibilities:
[ol]
[li]Bidet[/li][li]Doesn’t wipe[/li][li]Doesn’t go[/li][/ol]
However, if he’s claiming the last one I say he’s full of shit.

[Beckdawrek]

I was wondering WTH? too. Maybe a colostomy bag?

[Joey_P]

@Orwell

Just to be sure all was clean, and to dry off the ejection port.

I can honestly tell you, I have no idea if that was a joke or not.

[Drunky_Smurf]

@Beckdawrek

I was wondering WTH? too. Maybe a colostomy bag?

Back in the good Ol’ Days we used corn cobs. Get a good 6 months worth of use out of just one of them

[Voyager]

@Fear_Itself

Does anybody like the TP you find at large institutions like airports and hospitals? It comes on a giant roll about 10 inches in diameter, locked inside a plastic housing. It has no perforations and has the texture of notebook paper, with no absorbency. I hate that shit.

When I was in college MIT used something called Springfield Oval, which was crappy paper on an oval holder so that when you rotated it you got two small squares. Worse than any airport tp I’ve ever seen.

[DavidwithanR]

Some institutional toilet paper is nicer than what I have at home; some is unbelievably terrible. Once I determine that it’s the terrible kind (extremely thin and extremely weak), I unroll several three- or four-foot lengths of it in order to make it work.

[Channing_Idaho_Banks]

One phenomenon that I noticed is that when you get to the end of the roll of toilet paper there isn’t enough weight on the roll to create resistance and the paper doesn’t rip evenly across the perforations.

[Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor]

@california_jobcase

When shopping for toilet paper, it pays to read the label. Roll labels (double, mega, etc.) vary in meaning. Look for the total square feet on the package. Price divided by square feet will get you the unit price in cents per square feet.

Some people say cheaper TP is uncomfortable. I figure it’s like playing a guitar. It’s better after the calluses build up.

You don’t have hemorrhoids.:mad:

[Paintcharge]

It also seems like the plastic wrapper has gotten more “glue-y” lately. Like when I was a kid, you could just poke a finger through the tube and open the package that way. Now I need a pointy object to get it open.

[watchwolf49]

Junk mail … it doesn’t flush very well butt that’s why we have garbage service …

[excavating_for_a_mind]

No discussion of toilet paper would be complete without mentioning the failed attempt of the John Wayne brand.

The problem; it was rough, tough, and wouldn’t take shit off of nobody.

[Beckdawrek]

@excavating_for_a_mind

No discussion of toilet paper would be complete without mentioning the failed attempt of the John Wayne brand.

The problem; it was rough, tough, and wouldn’t take shit off of nobody.

Heh! I was waiting on the Duke to show up.

[racer72]

@FairyChatMom

Not only is the tube bigger, but the width of the roll is smaller - I think by 1/2". Yet another reason you have to use more…

I bought some TP at an estate sale, it was likely from the early 70’s. The brand was Townhouse which was sold by Safeway. Besides white, I also got pink, blue and tan. I compared these to a new pack of TP I had at home. The center tube was the same in both, the size of dispensers or holders have never changed. What was different was the width, The old stuff was 4-3/4" wide, new 4". The paper was also rolled much tighter on the new compared to the old. The old stuff still had price stickers attached, 29 cents per pack.