Isn’t that the same thing said about Drew Bledsoe?
Saddam (Two Sheds) Hussein
Isn’t it spelled expatriate?
Sadam has learned the first lesson in how not to be seen.
It’s a pun, dear. The most dreadful of all types of humour. My advice is that when they get like this, just quietly walk away. You may shake your head if you wish.
Look! I didn’t come in here to be insulted! I came to have an argument!
Voom?
Mate, this regime wouldn’t voom if you put 4 million volts through it!
I laughed so hard I coughed up a lung! Someone call 911, please…
The Larch!
“It’s not much of a regime, is it?”
“Finest in the Middle East.”
“Explain the logic underlying that conclusion.”
“Well, it’s so clean, sir.”
“It’s certainly uncontaminated by Iraqi dictators.”
Aye, there’s the rub.
Did not.
“Have you in fact got any dictators here at all?”
“Yes sir!”
“Really?”
“No. Not really sir.”
“You haven’t”
“Nosir, not one. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.”
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to shoot you!”
“Right-o”
BAM
“What a senseless waste of human life”
BBC reporter: The crowd has pulled down the statue, with the Marines’ help, and… yes, they’ve CUT ITS HEAD OFF!
Info Minister al-Sahaf: It’s just a flesh wound.
It’s spelled “Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf” but it’s pronounced “Throatwarbler Mangrove.”
I’m feeling a big peckish for some cheesey commestibles. Do you have any Basra cheddar?
Not at the moment.
Well, then, how about some Tikrit munster?
Not much call for that around these parts.
I’d settle for some good Kuwait Stilton, if you please.
Now, you know we’re in Iraq! It’s simply not possible.
(slinks away, dreaming of Syrian camel curd)
This is getting too silly!
Have you got anything without spam?
How can you have Saddam, Ex-Parrot, Spam and Bacon without the spam?
[Shortly after dawn. Three bedraggled, traumatized, exhausted Iraqi regular-army soldiers report to the only officers they can find – a captain and colonel of the Elite Republican Guard.]
SOLDIERS: “Sir!”
ELITE REPUBLICAN GUARD CAPTAIN: [distractedly, reluctantly looks up from the colonel he was attending to] “Yes?”
FIRST SOLDIER: “Sir, … well, we’re the only ones left from our battalion, sir! We attacked the American tanks and personnel carriers in one human wave attack after another, all night long, but it was all in vain! All but us three were martyred! What shall we do?”
ERG CAPTAIN: “Well, you see, boys, I have a rather pressing crisis to attend to here, if you don’t mind… You see, the esteemed Colonel here has a rather nasty nosebleed…”
SOLDIERS [in unison]: “Oh, beg pardon, sir!” “Didn’t notice, sir!” “I apologize, sir, for interrupting!”
****** ************* ******
IRAQI SCIENTIST: [gingerly handling a sheet of paper at arm’s length] “Aha, this ought to do it. Yes, I do believe we’ve done it! Victory will be ours at last!”
ARMY GENERAL: “What are you talking about? What have you got there?”
SCIENTIST: “The funniest joke ever written… whoever reads it will surely die laughing…”
******Would you settle for Kurds?