Too fucking stupid to be a software pirate

So I’ve started a small business , working from home. I offer to maintain computer systems for smaller companies who can’t afford their own IT department - companies of up to about 20 workers really don’t have the resources to have a full time IT guy, so I offer maintenance contracts, and system setup, and whatever it takes to keep them running smoothly.

I’ve only been at this for a couple of months, so I’ve not got a lot of business yet. The last week was DEAD. Not a single call.

Until today. I’m not feeling well, I’m running a fever, so screw it. Off to bed and try to get to feeling better.

I took the cordless phone from the office (upstairs in the attic) with me just in case someone called after all.

So I’m laying there, zonked out and drifting towards a nap, and RRRIIINNNNGGGG!

Yippee! A customer!

I drag my feverish ass out of bed and jump to the phone on the night stand, and answer the phone to encounter … an absolute dipshit.

The guy asks if I can install an operating system for him. Sure, says I. What will it cost, dipshit wants to know. Well, says I, it depends a little on what system you’ve got.

Dipshit answers back “Windows XP professional, a copy a freind made for me.”

Say what? You can’t buy a copy but you want to pay someone to install it for you? You call up a professional and ask him to help you break the law?

My half fevered brain fell back on habit, and simply informed him that I don’t touch pirated software - can’t do that if I want to stay in business - and reminded him that he himself was breaking the law. Standard speech that I give when asked to do something like this by an existing customer - it is amazing how many people think it is OK to buy one copy of something and install it on a gazillion computers.

In my fevered (and half asleep) state it didn’t occur to me to try to convince him to purchase the software legally or to suggest a free alternative instead of giving him THE SPEECH.

So I wind down, and hear this “Urrm. OK. Bye. Click.” and dipshit is gone from my life.

I crawl back under the blankets to toast the bugs who are making me feel so shitty and to ponder the stupidity of a wannabe software pirate who can’t install his own software.

Sheesh.

Bart: Uh, say, are you guys crooks?
Tony: Bart, um, is it wrong to steal a loaf of bread to feed your starving family?
Bart: No.
Tony: Well, suppose you got a large starving family. Is it wrong to steal a truckload of bread to feed them?
Bart: Uh uh.
Tony: And, what if your family don’t like bread? They like… cigarettes?
Bart: I guess that’s okay.
Tony: Now, what if instead of giving them away, you sold them at a price that was practically giving them away. Would that be a crime, Bart?
Bart: Hell, no!

I say, install it!!!

LOL!

If he’s that clueless I wonder how he’s going to crack XP to get it working…or maybe that’s why he was calling?

I’m happy for the version of XP pro I got…free! And it’s legit! Being in the “industry” is great, especially when you go to Mircosoft seminars and get free copies of their OSes :smiley:

Free! We had to pay $10 for our (legal) version of XP Home.

Nope. Not gonna happen. I don’t need a reputation of breaking the law.

Besides which, I push free software solutions - GPL and all that good stuff. The “but its illegal” argument is one that helps me convince people to try something that they can legally copy all over the place.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I convinced a small hotel outfit to replace their (illegal) copy of Windows 2000 and go all Linux and GPL in the (one computer) office. Their ISDN/Fax card actually receives faxes these days, unlike the way it mostly didn’t when they were running Win2000 or their (legal) WinMe before that.

I don’t mind when some one asks me for help with their system and it turns out they only have one MS Office CD and ten PCs running Office - I can fix the problem they’re having and explain that they need a license for every machine and we can go from there.

But calling up and saying (in so many words) “Help me install my illegal software” is just way too much.

BTW:
I am in Germany, so of course all of the discussion with dipshit was in German. The expression dipshit used to describe his copy (schwarzgebrannte) acknowledges the illegality of the copy - it wasn’t just “Help me install this copy of XP my friend gave me.” It was literally “Help me install the illegal copy of XP my friend gave me.”

That’s not a problem. If he got a black-market copy of it (as seems to be the case from the German word), then it’s already cracked.

Also, some OEM versions of XP do not require activation.

Would that be the equivalent to bootleg? Or do the two words carry different connotations?

Effectively, yes. “schwarz” means “black”. We also have the literal translation of a “black market” - “Schwarzmarkt” and several other “schwarz-” words:

illegal employment:“Schwarzarbeit” (literally: black work/employment);
to dodge the fare: “schwarzfahren” (literally: black riding)

“gebrannt” is “burnt”, including (but not limited to) cds.
By using this he admitted that he knew it was illegal, but it sounds a little more harmless than what a Microsoft representative would call it.

Thanks for the info.