I had a mildly frustrating conversation with a friend of mine from college. He spoke as if there are nerds in the world who are still held to be separate from non-nerds. He’s in his middle 40’s — isn’t that a bit old to be making such distinctions? On the one hand, we did go to school at Nerd Central (Caltech), but on the other hand, we’ve been out of school for more than 20 years.
During high school I was definitely a nerd. At college, we were nerdly and well-aware that the girls from UCLA and USC were out of our grasp (as were the ones from Occidental and PCC). But then we graduated. We’ve moved out into the world and we’re surrounded by regular people.
What exactly qualifies one to be a middle-aged nerd? (And didn’t we get papal dispensation during the dot-com boom?) Either the non-nerds of the world are being especially nice to me or there isn’t really a nerd/non-nerd dichotomy.
Middle-aged nerd: Man turning 40 on his next birthday. Never supported himself. Still lives with his mom (Not in the basement, we don’t have basements around here). When he did go away to college (in his late 20s), his parents still paid for everything. Drives the car his parents bought for him. When he works pretty much every penny he earns goes to buy things like DVDs, CDs, books, collectibles, etc. Heavily into science fiction, anime, etc.
Mom lost house in hurricane. He still won’t get a job. The two of them have moved in with a friend. Insurance did not cover their old house. Mom is having to cash out her nest egg to buy a new house. He still won’t get a job. Never crosses his mind he should support himself, and, hey, it might be nice if he financially supported his mother since she (and his dad when he was alive) have been carrying around his skinny ass for almost 40 years now.
I’ll admit what delineates him as a nerd as opposed to a scrub (both of whom can be sponges living off their mom) is his interests: science fiction, anime, complete with attending the conventions.
groo, in my experience, the word “nerd” has changed meanings in the last several years. Back in the '80’s, a nerd was someone who liked computers and math and studying. Nowadays, a nerd is anyone who reads comic books or science fiction. There are plenty of us out there, but we’re no longer defined by exclusion from the mainstream. Outcast that I was in high school, I’m a pretty hoopy frood these days. But I still hit the comic book store every Wednesday, so nerd I remain.
If your friend still has the us vs. them mentality that he had in high school – what a dweeb!
Upon moving into the"regular" world old distinctions like nerd and such melt away usually. But for some people they hold on to them (like holding on to youth). Mostly you see this in old highschool sports stars still wearing the jacket into their 30s and 40s and talking about the “big” game they played or stared in. It’s just some peoples nature and is harmless other then being boring.
I think you hit on it. I was actually soft-pedaling a bit with my OP. He seems to have a big chip on his shoulder about some sort of ill treatment he received in high school or college. I’d really like it if he wouldn’t let this old crap define the parameters of his life.
Also, Cliffy, he definitely speaks with an “us versus them” mentality, so though I’m willing to forgive him, he probably does come off as a dweeb. I’m hoping he only spoke that way with me because we go way back – if he talks about such polarization in casual conversation, he could seriously turn people off.
Thanks for the replies (as well as you, lalaith; the person you described does sound like someone who might have originated as a nerd (but whose nerdiness got overshadowed by his indolence)).
