Dude - where is the back half of your dog?!
I’ve always heard goldens are smart, but perhaps that’s because I’ve been a golden owner my entire life.
My dog sometimes appears to be dumb but she really only has 3 levels of thought:
Do I ever know that one. If he could talk he’d be saying,
OMG!!! You’re home! I’ve been waiting ALL DAY for you! I need kisses and playtime! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!111!
Waitaminute! Waitaminute! Where’s the Irish Setter? How can you have a list of dumb dogs without the Irish Setter?
More seriously, the only breed that surprised me with its placement was the Bloodhound.
Toys aren’t so bright, I’ll grant you. But miniatures & standards are phenomenally bright as dogs go.
Beagles, on the other hand, are rock stupid, in my experience. I used to house-sit for some friends of my parents. I’d go to their house after school and let the dog out and clean the cat boxes & feed all the animals.
Among other things, the beagle would not go outside after most of a day inside, and would have to be physically heaved outside. After letting her stay out there for 30 minutes or so, during which she would run full tilt in a big ass circle and bark like crazy, she’d come in and piss on the carpet.
That, my friends is a stupid dog.
Great Danes are pretty damn dumb as well- my Aunt & Uncle had a series of them, and they were all damn near retarded, even for dogs. Two of them attacked their reflections in the window, another ate a magazine rack and got the shits.
No, stupid was one of my grandfather’s dogs that I heard about. Max was kept overnight in the kitchen, because he would not be house broken, completely. Every night, no matter when they woke, my grandparents found he’d left a pile in the middle of the kitchen floor.
So, in traditional dog-training manner, my grandfather will push Max’ nose into the pile, and tell him he was a bad dog, then let him out, and clean it up.
Eventually, this regime had an effect. When my grandfather got up, Max would go over to the pile, and shove his own nose into it.
That is a stupid dog.
Max wins the thread!
The intelligence of these dogs isn’t just measured in trainability. There have been lots of studies which use cognitive analysis tools to try to determine intelligence in dogs. Things like awareness of self (recognizing an image in a mirror as ‘you’), being able to discern shapes and colors and identify them, etc. Border Collies are spooky smart in this way - but Grey Parrots are even smarter by the same measures, which tells you that what’s being measured isn’t exactly intelligence as we understand it, either.
My Boston Terrorist woke me the other night by standing on my chest. I opened my eyes to see him staring down at me morosely. I said “Gotta Pee?” and he said <grumble>, which I’m pretty sure mean ‘well, duh!’
Some Goldens are smarter than you think. Watch this.
On the other hand, a Boston Terrorist… well. Sometimes they’re bad.
They’re very good at looking guilty.
A Puli has dreadlocks.
If you want to read an insightful, not your standard AKC breeder’s list of list about breeds, I highly recommend The Good, the Bad and the Furry . The writer interviewed breeders and rescues about the good and the bad things of top breeds. Entertaining as it is informative.
I love that video! Bostons are *very *destructive and can destroy things that many dogs can’t (or won’t). I’ve only found a handful of dog toys that last longer than a day or two. None of the ‘indestructible’ toys made it. Kongs are pretty good, but not much of anything else survives.
My little destro is a Dirty Sock Addict. And, yes, he has a distinctive guilty look.
Any list which fails to mention the dachshund as Breed Least Likely to Make Fundamental Advances in Theoretical Physics is a bad list. I have owned and trained a couple, and they are almost as smart as a folding chair, but only on a good day.
And Goldens are more or less as described - sweet natured as all get out, but not keenly insightful. My mom is on her third Boston Terrier, and a more obnoxious creature would be hard to find. And that pushed in face - yeesh. God made them as ugly as He could, and then hit it in the face with a shovel. Fortunately, to make up for being ugly and obnoxious, they are also yappy.
Regards,
Shodan
Sic 'im, Puck! … Puck? … PUCK! … Would it help if I told you he has a cookie in his pants? 
And Bostons are NOT yappy!
I have to second this. Our Boston is constantly grunting and snorting, but never barking. The Boston meetups I’ve been to have not been any yappier than any other breed meetup I’ve seen (actually less than most breed meetups.) If your mother’s dogs are yappy, I would suspect she likes them that way.
As for how they look, well, different strokes and all that.
I have to agree, Shodan. And I adore pugs, even. My mother’s Boston Terrorist (great name!) was one of the very few dogs who I couldn’t stand. Even when he was ostensibly standing still, he’d just sort of…quiver. Disgusting dog.
I was reluctantly impressed by his ability to spring over 6 feet straight up from a standstill, however.
Oh yes - I’m scared, all right. Cowering, that’s the word - cowering.
This terrifying creature is going to rip me to pieces, no doubt about that.
For heaven’s sake, he needs a step stool to pee on top of my foot, and these are old shoes anyway.
Regards,
Shodan
**Shodan ** and WhyNot, BTs are a breed which is well known for only barking when necessary. If your mother’s dogs are yappy, I suspect they need a lot more exercise. They aren’t acting the way happy BTs act. BTs were originally bred for fighting, and although they’ve been bred down for companionship, they still are a very physical dog with dominating traits. Successful BT owners are usually the same kind who are successful with other dominant dogs. If BTs are adopted to be lap dogs, they definitely get stir crazy and become yappy and obnoxious. It’s a symptom of a problem, not the standard BT condition. They should be walked twice a day for 30 mins, or played with regularly (like a ball in the yard or down a long hallway.) They *need * this; they aren’t complacent like labs can be when they don’t get exercised.
I understand that neither of you are BT fans, and I don’t intend to convert you - but unless these are unusual BTs, it (respectfully) sounds like your Moms could use some friendly guidance.
My uncle used to have a Border Collie, and man that dog was smart.
I’ve said in the past that my basset was pretty stupid, but what I’m starting to learn is that she doesn’t see as well as my golden retriever did. I think that might be why the scent hounds are over-represented on the “dumb” list. They are also extremely mono-tasking dogs - if they’re sniffing, they really just tune everything else out. Combine that with the fact that they aren’t good retrievers, which people apparently think makes a dog “smart” in my experience, and they end up as “dumb”.
My dog knows a lot of tricks, but she’ll get so focused on sniffing for and finding a treat that it’s hard to get her to do them. Hold a toy until she wants it, and then she’ll do the trick reliably. She learns them fast, too.
You’ll see the stubbornness come out if they’re doing something they want to do. My dog is very clingy and likes to please, but if she’s all relaxed on the couch and you tell her “Ok, bedtime, get in your crate”, she’ll look at you like she doesn’t know what you’re talking about unless you ramp up the tone to be a bit more insistent. Then she’ll stretch, yawn, stand up, and make sure you’ll really serious. Then, she’ll finally start walking towards the crate…slowly… but she knows not to play this game if I’m on my way to work, since I’m in a hurry. Smart enough, I’d say.
Good heavens, yes, but my mom doesn’t listen to her husband the veterinarian either. My mother is a lovely woman, but she has some blind spots.
:heavy sigh;
Regards,
Shodan
