TOP TEN Reasons to Visit the SDMB

TOP TEN reasons* to visit the SDMB:

  1. Cecil sure to be stumped by your witty “3 words that end in gry” post
  2. World peace to result from your simple yet elegant proposal on gun control
  3. Voices in your head said to
  4. Moose schlongs–'nuff said
  5. Mods are (choose one): (a) funny, helpful and smart; or (b) vicious neolithic pond scum sucking oppressors of creativity
  6. Hot nekkid monkey butler sex
  7. Need help with that nagging genital rash
  8. Just 3 more continuing edjumacation credits for your 21st Century Illuminati degree
  9. Need help with that nagging thermonuclear ignition problem

AND NOW, the Number 1 Reason to Visit the SDMB:

  1. So much ignorance, so little time

So, why do YOU visit the SDMB?:smiley:

[sub]*Based on in-personum polling data of one Chicago-area household; accurate to within +/-100%. Polling and statistical regression analysis provided by Insignificant Assistance Services, a division of Wait For It, Inc. Funding provided by Post100 Productions LLC. Don’t even THINK of parking here. All rights reserved 2001.[/sub]

I have 3 reasons to post on the boards:

  1. To “:)” at Chief :slight_smile: Scott;
  2. To “;)” at all the purty wimmin;
  3. To “:rolleyes:” at idiots when they continue to be idiots even after they are disproven in their positions.

High quality weed!

(Cmon, why do you think they call it The Straight Dope?)


  1. Its where everyone knows your name… wait, thats Cheers… DAMN!!

It’s either post or work.
I want to make it to 2000 post. . . and not have a post party!
It’s free.
Cecil and Little Ed fuel my erotic dreams.
Lynn Bodoni and TVeblen fuel my erotic dreams.
Monkey butlers fuel. . . you know what I mean.
Where else am I going to find out why shit is brown?
Goat Porn!!
I need a new coffee mug.

And the number one reason.
It’s CyberCrack and I’m an addict.

All the dry anal rape and sour apple green candycanes you can handle, oh YEAH!

Well, where else would people be able to see lesbians in action?

  1. Catch up on the latest exchanges between Ben and Wildest Bill. Cheer for Ben.
  2. See who thinks TVeblen is a guy.
  3. Add new words to vocabulary (felch, squick, etc.)
  4. Find thread in which to boost post count. :smiley:
  5. Waste time waiting for beer to chill properly.
  6. Learn amazing fact to impress husband.
  7. Discover a book, website, movie, etc., recommended by a respected Doper.
  8. Brush up on grammar, spelling, usage. (Be paranoid that you will break a rule in your post.)
  9. Count how many times a list includes “Hi, Opal.” :wink: Smirk privately because you used to read the old AOL board, and you “get it.”
  10. All the free food!

9a. See who thinks Scylla is a girl
9b. See who thinks SuaSponte is a girl
9c. See who asks about the meaning of Hi Opal

The people on these Message Boards have some brains.
There is no subject you can bring up that someone doesn’t know something about.
It’s cheaper than ebay!

  1. Good Humor

  2. Meet interesting people

  3. Stretch my intellect to view opinions which differ from mine.

  4. Great Recipes

  5. Tips and Advice

  6. Further my education

  7. Play Games

  8. Limericks

  9. Anger honestly expressed

  10. Support from friends

My original reason for coming here was information on Mark Twain, and I was directed to one of Cecil’s columns through one of my favorite search engines. I revere Cecil along as do the other teeming millions, but, although he was the orignial reason for me finding this board, the above reasons are why I keep coming back.

  1. Where else can you get a response like this? I mean, if you have 3 reasons, like Monster104, or 1 reason, like andygirl, that’s rational. But just posting reason 3.?? That is irrationality as performance art. I salute you, sk8rixtx.

9d. I just found out Muffin is a guy.:o

Thanks for the link to the acme mayhem thread. ::sends one acme brand thank you note to Spider Woman::

Hey Biggirl? Umm, are Cecil, Lynn, Ed, Veb, the monkey butlers and the goats all in the same dream?

Dear Humble Servant,

As Biggirl’s mental advisor, I think it best if we not get too involved in her very strange inner workings. I think all on the SDMB should count themselves extremely lucky that eggbeaters, styrofoam, the color “institutional green” and The Dark Lord of the Dance were not mentioned in Biggirl’s post.

It would also be unprofessional of me to mention the dreams your username conjures up in that twisted individual’s mind.

Your’s Truely,

Free goat porn for one and all :slight_smile: