Leonard: Excuse me, I’m looking for Sheldon Cooper’s apartment.
Man with a box: Oh, I bet you’re here to check out the room for rent.
Leonard: Yeah.
Man: Run away, dude.
Leonard: What?
Man: Run fast, run far.
Penny: Well, yeah, he’d been living with Sheldon
Large Black Transvestite: Yeah?
Leonard: Dr. Cooper?
Transvestite: No, you want the crazy guy across the hall.
Leonard: Let’s see, a man running out with a crazy, deranged look on his face and a large black transvestite have told me this “Dr. Cooper” is crazy. That’s it, I’m out of here.
< something happens >
“What the fuck is going on???”
“It’s…complicated. No time! Just follow me. I’ll tell you now that I’ll answer all questions later, but I never will”
< Pulls gun > “Either you take the 2 minutes to explain what’s so going on, or you’ll have a third nostril”
Darren Stephens: “Hmmmm…my wife is a witch with near-godlike abilities to create objects out of thin air and thwart all the laws of phyisics. Well I guess I won’t be calling the shots in this marriage–and screw this working for that white-haired weasel Larry Tate! I’ll do the best I can do to cater to my wife’s whims and we’ll be living like no mortal ever could! I’d better do my damnedest to stay on my mother-in-law’s good side too, she’s spiteful and can literally make my life Hell if I annoy her. Note to self – just suck it up.”
tv forensic drama show : we need a 20 grand+ gadget that can pick up a single flake of designer coke off the pube of the dead hooker we found in the masterminds hotel room for a few hours
cut to person who would approve such things:wide eye but silent cold stare and the petitioner backing out of the room slowly
Ned Stark: Huh. Usually when a Baratheon has a child with a blonde woman, the child has black hair. Well, there’s a first time for everything. This certainly isn’t something worth plunging the kingdom into civil war over.
Well, first of all, the IRS is gonna investigate and his family is gonna get nada.
But in any case, the family of drug dealers are often at danger. So, yeah, instead of leaving his family the usual modest Life insurance, he’d rather they get taken, tortured raped and their heads left on this doorstep. Great way to protect your family. :rolleyes:
This is one of the annoying thing about Bones. Instantly bringing in the FBI and the Jeffersonian on Yet Another Dead Body with no indication of any importance to it.
“Hey, Brennan. They just found a body in an alley in a rundown part of DC.”
“So? Let the DC cops handle it.”
IIRC, My Two Dads had the blood test as part of the pilot episode. The thing is, though, the tests weren’t nearly as sophisticated back then as we now take for granted, and so it wasn’t a big shock for multiple men to show up as possible matches.
The people who make the briefing tape for Phelps/Briggs simply use their flawless and detailed intelligence (seriously, the tape often relates things only the bad guy could know) to produce evidence for law enforcement to stop/arrest/assassinate the bad guy as required. The IMF team never gets involved.
FXX just ran The Simpsons’ “22 Short Films About Springfield.” I know the segment with Skinner trying to lie his way out of his messed-up lunch with Superintendent Chalmers is funny and all, but this thread made me think…
“Sir…I’m really sorry but there’s been a kitchen mishap. It looks as if I’ll have to take you out to lunch instead…your pick.”
“Well, that new steakhouse sounds promising anyway.”
“Then the steakhouse it is. I really am sorry, sir.”
“Seymour, for heaven’s sake, it happens to the best of us. I ever tell you about the first Thanksgiving Rosemary and I hosted? The oven crapped out in the middle of the day. Ten guests and an almost-raw turkey!”