Puzzling Sit-Com questions from my youth

Cafe Society
#1

Was Mrs. Livingston Mr. Eddy’s Father’s secret lover? I mean, really. Doesn’t Eddy look like he could be Mrs. Livingston’s kid?

Why didn’t Oscar punch Felix right in the nose? That would have taken care of that honking problem.

Why is it better to live in a smallish two bedroom apartment in Manhattan then a medium sized house in Queens?

If JJ’s sister’s fiance blew out his knee in a college football game, why’d he immediately drop out of school and start driving a cab?

Where, exactly, did Cousin Oliver come from?

Do they really let you wear rollerskates inside boarding schools? Where all the girls besides Blair orphans? And was it an affair gone sour that drove Mrs. Garrette away from the Drummond household?

#2

I can answer this one. He came from the very bottom of the depths of Hell.

Haj

#3
  1. When you’re the token minority, you get to wear roller skates.
  2. Of course not. It was an exclusive private school. Who would pay the bills if they were all orphans? Jo was the token “poor kid” who was there on scholarship.
  3. It was her unrequited love for Mr. Drummond that drove her away. Continuity mistake: In later years of “TFoL” Mrs. Garrett comments on how she’s worked at the school for many, many years.
#4

Umm…assault and battery lawsuit?

Is this referring to the Jeffersons? If so, I think their apartment was bigger than two bedrooms. Anyway, it was probably in a posh area with a Park view.

#5

Here’s another one:

After finding the stone tablets showing a way off the island and across the water to a big, populated island (Hawaii?), The Professor was smart enough to realize he’d read the glyphs wrong and that the map really showed how to get TO the island, why wasn’t he also smart enough to realize that maps can be read bi-directionally?

#6

The Eternal Sitcom Question: If it was just a three-hour cruise, why on Earth did the Howells, Ginger and Mary-Ann have so many freaking clothes with them?
And if they could build so many things (huts, all kinds of furniture, a washing machine, a stage, a car, etc.) out of bamboo and palm fronds, why couldn’t they build a boat and get off the damn island?

#7

My wife could answer that one for you.

#8

Powerful ocean currents and winds ran from Hawaii to the island, which is why anything within a million square miles around Hawaii would inevitably end up in the lagoon. As for seamanship: the Skipper and Gilligan couldn’t keep from getting them all stranded to begin with, how well do you think they’re gonna’ do with a raft or an outrigger canoe?

#9

Why didn’t General Peterson have Dr. Bellows drummed out of the Air Force for all of his insane rantings about Major Nelson?

#10

Aunt Harriet didn’t really stop Bruce and Dick from being gay between crimefighting gigs, did she?

Nobody noticed the Joker needed a shave? or that there were three different Catwomen? For God’s sake – two of them were white.

Was Lillian Herman’s beard? Were Granpa and Herman doing the nasty? And how is it that a Frankenstein and a vampire ended up with a werewolf child? Adoption? What was Marilyn supposed to be?

How the hell is it that Spot didn’t burn down the house?

Why is it you never saw Lurch and Thing at the same time?

#11

Maybe it was just supposed to be a layover sort of thing, and they didn’t want to completely unpack and repack for a few hours? It would make as much sense as ANYTHING on that show did. And the professor was a true Renaissance man, wasn’t he? I had SUCH a crush on him when I was a little girl.

#12

Cesar Romero refused to shave his moustache, so they would paint over it with the white makeup.

#13

Probably lost his scholarship and couldn’t stay in school.

#14

The Gilligan Conspiracy solved.

#15

Well, it was a dee-luxe apartment.

#16

A dee-luxe apartment, in the skyyyyyyyyy…
Plus, it was far, far away from that bigoted neighbor he used to have.

#17

Why didn’t Greg boink Marsha?

They weren’t really brother & sister.

#18

Why was Mary Ann so freakin’ hot?

#19

Why didn’t Willis boink Kimberly?

No way they were related.

#20

Hmmm, yessss, that does make sense, except…

Sometime in the late 70s/early 80s (I could look it up on the IMDB, but I won’t), we were subjected to two (2) Gilligan Island TV movies; the gist of the first one is that they did get off the island via raft (I believe), were rescued, and tried to integrate back into life with rather poor results. The climax of this show is that they have a reunion, take a boat ride on the Minnow II, and yes, of course, get shipwrecked on an island where Gilligan finds the signboard ‘USS Minnow I’ (this one little, but ridiculous error, marking it Minnow I!, peeves me to this day - I think we could have handled it if he found a board just saying Minnow).
The next movie was a terrible parody of Fantasy Island or something, wherein they quickly got rescued again (I think this time via Gilligan finding a Japanese WWII airstrip, and somehow flying in a Zero or something, and so turning up on the Navy’s radar - no, I don’t know why they didn’t find this airstrip before, maybe the natives that periodically appeared in TOS guarded it),
so this time they pool their money and create a resort on the island, finally tapping into that phone cable which washed up in the TOS (this is the only other thing I remember about that - they had only one phone, hidden in a fake palm trunk behind the bar).
So there, with that info we are forced to accept the first thesis of that site, which is… It’s just a stupid show