Over the decades the airwaves have abounded with crap TV shows, so bad that most people won’t admit to watching them. I’m not talking Suddenly Susan, I’m talking Gilligan’s Island. Saved by the Bell. Small Wonder. ALF. But every now and then, the writers of these shows would hit upon a real knee slapper. What are your favorites?
-The Brady Bunch: The Brady’s stop by a ghost town on their way to the Grand Canyon. They meet old timey prospector Jim Bachus. He explains what it was like in the old days. “Every night, drinkin’, shootin, and gamblin’, drinkin’, shootin, and gamblin’!” He then takes off his hat reverently. “Except on Sundays. No gamblin’.”
-The Partidge Family: Someone says “I have a problem.” Shirley says “Oh no, I hope it’s not a bad problem!” Keith says “No, it’s probably a good problem.”
-Ibid: Keith gets beaten up by a bully. Laurie, who is taking judo lessons, flips the bully and saves Keith’s ass. They both complain about the reputations they are getting from this. Laurie: “They’re all calling me Flip Wilson!” Keith: “They’re calling me Geraldine.”
[Kelly has a zit]
Al: Now here’s all the money I’ve got. I want you to go to a pharmacy and get some real medicine.
Kelly: Outside? But Daddy, what if somebody sees my pimple?
Al: Pumpkin, it’s dark. Nobody’s going to see the pimple.
Kelly: I guess you right. I guess I’m being silly, huh?
[opens door]
Man from distance: Whoa. Look at the zits on the blonde chick.
Kelly: Thank God he didn’t see the pimple, huh?
ALF: Alf sets the kitchen drapes on fire. The mother and father put the fire out while Alf lounges. The father berates him for not helping put out the fire that he started. Alf says “I didn’t think it was a three man job.”
Again not actually a bad show, but I remember this exchange on Cheers. They were talking about somebody having a problem relative.
Woody: Everybody has problems in their family. There was this one time my grandfather did something so bad, the whole family had to change our names to Anderson and move to Ohio.
Sam: But Woody, your family name is Boyd and you’re from Iowa.
Woody: Well, yeah, there was a problem in Ohio too.
In one episode of the failed and extremely unfunny Love and War starring Susan Dey and Jay Thomas, there was one line that really had me laughing. Those two were driving on a deserted road and about to run out of gas. Susan was upset at Jay for not filling up the tank Susan: Just once I’d like to see a man fill up with gas when there’s more than a quarter tank left! Jay: [Dismissing] Huh, that’s no man.
In keeping with the spirit of the OP, from The Love Boat , Jimmy (J.J.) Walker was playing an exterminator who left a customer in limbo while he went off on the boat chasing his girlfriend. As the ship sailed off he hollered to the customer on the dock, “Don’t worry about your termites, lady, 'cuz when the house falls down it’ll kill 'em.”
This from Gilligans Island always gave me the giggles. It was the episode when a guy comes to the island and kidnaps Ginger (I think it was Ginger) and leaves a ransom note asking for a low sum of money.
Mr. Howell in response to the ransom note: (Clenching teeth) “If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s a cheap kidnapper!”
There are two crappy sitcoms from the past, Bosom Buddies and Perfect Strangers, that had lousy premises and usually bad plots. But each one had a great comedy team leading them.
Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari were really good at playing off one another, as were Bronson Pinchot and Mark Linn-Baker. I’d watch the shows just for the moments of brilliance when the team was working like a Swiss watch.
Sorry I don’t have any specific examples, but these two programs are what I think of when I consider bad shows with very funny moments.
Bravo! I remember that.
Another piece of sitconm detritus that still litters the cultural scene (I still hear this, decades later) is the song “Happy Anniversary” sung to the tune of “The William Tell Overture” (You know, the part that gave us the Lone Ranger music): Happy Anniver-sa-ry!
Happy Ann-i-ver-sary!
Happy Ann-i-ver-sar-y!
Haaaaaaaa—ppy Anniversary!"
It’s from The Flintstones from the early 1960s.
“Happy Days” during its first few seasons had its moments but, by the time of this joke, it was either near or past the episode where the term “jumping the shark” derived from. In it, Richie, Potsie, and Ralph have gotten together and moved into their own apartment where they divvy up the chores. Potsie agrees to do the laundry but fails to separate colors and ends up turning the entire batch of clothes green. The situation itself is pretty funny but what makes the scene for me is when a supremely pissed Ralph exclaims, “You gave me a wardrobe like Peter Pan’s!” Maybe the line by itself isn’t all that funny but Ralph’s alternately exasperated and horror-struck delivery is.
