Silly, weird, perhaps unanswerable questions about movies and TV

I’ve posted a couple of these before*, but I thought of some more and invite others to add their suggestions.

What would happen if Dracula’s brain was implanted in the Frankenstein’s Monster’s body?

What happened on Hogan’s Heroes at the end of WW2?

It would depend on the exact version. I can image several possibilities offhand:
[ul]
[li]Dracula shapechanges into vapor, a wolf or a bat, and the Monster’s head explodes as his brain takes on that form.[/li]
[li]Dracula’s brain infects the Monster’s body with vampirism, and you have Giant Ugly Dracula.[/li]
[li]Dr Frankenstein’s reanimation process resurrects Dracula’s brain along with the rest of the monster’s body, rendering him no longer a vampire.[/li]
[li]You end up with a Monster that has Dracula’s intellect and hypnotic powers.[/li][/ul]

So, dumber than the original, but with added mesmerism?

Like I said, it depends on the version - the result would be much smarter than the movie version; not so much for the book version.

Well the first would make for a horror movie that sucks and the second may produce After MASH in an earlier decade.

Klink and Schultz are arrested by the Allies, and during the interrogation, they only repeat “I know nothing. NOTHING!”. After reading their service records, the Allies believe them.

Here’s something that struck me as I watched Fast Times At Ridgemont High for about the nine millionth time recently: Is Linda (Phoebe Cates’ character) lying about having a fiance? I never thought much of it before, but the last time I watched it the whole thing just seemed like she was making it up. Nobody’s ever met the guy, not even her closest friend. Part of the movie takes place during the Christmas season and he doesn’t even show up then. And the perfectly timed breakup at graduation. Reading way too much into it, I thought maybe Linda is supposed to be a closeted lesbian and it was a ruse to avoid dating guys.

So is “my fiance in Chicago” the female version of “my girlfriend in Canada”? I haven’t read the book since the 80’s, so I don’t remember if there is more to it than is shown in the movie.

Is there a transitive property of movie bad guys? For example, Malcolm McDowell and David Warner both usually played villains. But when they were cast in a movie together (Time After Time (1979)) McDowell played H.G. Wells and Warner was Jack the Ripper. But does their relative bad-guy-ness stay consistent, and are there enough such pairings to establish the ultimate bad-guy actor?

My idea for a Hogans Heroes reunion movie was to have the characters meet up at a reunion, and then show flashbacks to their final acts of sabotage as the war was ending. At the reunion, they’re going to finally meet the mastermind who created and ran their operation during the war. He walks into the room, and it’s Colonel Klink.

Was Grandpa Munster a Dracula or The Dracula? The show does answer that Herman was one of at least two Frankenstein monsters.

And of course, how does a Frankenstein male & a female vampire have a werewolf son?

(Mockingbird Lane did attempt an answer for that- Herman’s heart had werewolf genes- either it was from a werewolf or a descendent of one, and it spread so that Herman was not a werewolf but able to father one.)

There is a pretty good story on fanfiction.net that proposes that Hogan founded the Impossible Missions Force.

Easy, Herman’s testicles were harvested from a werewolf.

That would be freaking hysterical! I would love to see it [though now it would have to be done in CGI cartoon, most of the actors are dead, I think.]

FTaRH: I think she may have hooked up with the Chicago guy, but had to make him her fiance to seem less trashy – at the most. It’s more likely, she made the whole thing up to seem more experienced and worldly than she is. She was very disdainful of high school guys throughout the entire movie and served as a Dr. Ruth advice giver to all the other girls. But Stacy would ask questions that Linda clearly answered incorrectly; I think she enjoyed feeling like the wise, experienced “woman” and having all her friends go to her for advice.

There was always a girl or two like this in high school and they were invariably virgins. You didn’t figure that out until you took their advice and realized – she had no clue what she was talking about. :smiley:

I don’t think it was a ruse to avoid dating guys, I think it was a ruse to come off being wiser, more experienced and more grown up than she really was.

IIRC,* in the book*, the guy was real. That just didn’t come across too clearly in the movie.

Sounds reasonable. She may have actually done it with some guy, but at the time of the movie there were still plenty of girls in high school that were virgins, and the ones who had ‘done it’, even once, were considered to be sages of sexual activity. Same thing applied to the boys, though they may have lied about it more often. Now-a-days, I don’t know, but I think girls are losing their virginity long before the prom.

Yep.

Both the movie and this post are good summaries of what my high school experience was like. I find it so much more accurate and relatable than, say, The Breakfast Club, which I would have considered mostly fantasy at the time. I went to a school that was more like Ridgemont High – drugs, booze, sex, etc. Breakfast Club was about the rich kids in the wealthy suburbs, which did not reflect my experience at all.

You’d have Count Frankula, a delightful chocolate/strawberry concoction vaguely resembling a breakfast cereal.

Just thought of another question about Hogan’s Heroes: did they ever explain, perhaps in a pilot episode I never saw, how the heck an allied espionage/sabotage base got founded literally under a stalag?

In the pilot, the whole underground operation was enormous — room after room, scores of people. And it was commercial as well as strategic, e.g., in one room, a half-dozen employees were manufacturing fake war souvenirs (Nazi flags, lugers, etc.).

But no, they never explained how it was built.

I had a friend in college who had an elaborate theory about how Col. Klink was actually with the Resistance but so deep undercover that Hogan and the other Heroes never even suspected he was intentionally helping them with his bumbling bureaucrat routine. This, she said, explained many seemingly implausible things about the show, from the existence of the underground base itself to Col. Klink’s perpetual “failure” to get promoted to General.

One thing that I always wondered about “Bewitched” (and even started a thread about a long time ago), just what was the medication Gladys Kravitz was taking?

“Abner! Mrs. Stephens across the street is flying around outside over the house, and Benjamin Franklin is outside!”

“Take your medicine Gladys.”

So, did Mrs. Kravitz have a prescription to some type of anti-psychotic serum? If so, what was it?