t-keela, I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
t-keela, I’m so sorry. My best wishes and good thoughts go out to you and your family.
T’keela, I’m sorry to hear about your wife. Sending wishes for a speedy recovery.
I didn’t see the update to this thread until just now. 
My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Your wife sounds like she was a very special person.
My sincerest condolences on your loss.
t-keela. My most sincere condolences on your loss.
My condolences to all of you. I’m so sorry. I know it must hurt. My prayers go out to all of you. I hope you find healing, and strength. Eventually, peace. Take care of yourself, don’t overextend trying to be the rock for everyone else. Don’t be afraid to lean on someone too.
I am so sorry, t-keela. First Persephone, then hlanelee’s wife, and now this.
You and yours are in my thoughts.
How about the driver who caused the accident? What happened to them?
Tkeela,
I am deeply saddened by your family’s loss. Your postings showed how much you love your wife. Given time, the good memories will help to ease your pain. I’ll keep a good thought in my mind for you and yours.
Take care.
Christ, t-k, I wish there was something I could say that would make one whit of difference. I am truly, deeply sorry. I hope you can work your way through this and find your way back to the light somehow.
Peace be with you, man.
I’m so sorry. Best wishes to you and your family.
Everything I can think to say sounds trite. I will pray for you and your children. How old are they?
It’s been a long day today and I can’t sleep. We had a graveside service this afternoon at 3:00. A good friend of ours, a pastor said a few words and a prayer. He knew her well and did a good job. Then another good friend of ours sang acappella, she was terrific. After a few more words from the pastor we all sang amazing grace and then several friends took turns expressing their sentiments to the rest of us. Everyone there was a dear friend or family member. There was no wake, nor long rehearsed “typical” memorial service.
Therese and I had discussed this several times and even quite recent in fact. Last month we had been talking about organ donation and she was a little upset because with her MD she wasn’t eligible to donate. We had been to several funerals in the past year or so and she had expressed her satisfaction with one similar to hers. A nice portrait of her, actually it was a picture of the two of us and another smaller photo of us. We were rarely apart, most of our pictures are of both of us.
Afterwards the local church had a supper for all who wished to attend. It was very nice of the ladies I thought and the food was excellent. It was…needless to say, all homecooked country style chow made by real little old ladies. I got one small portion of everything on the table. I’d hate to offend anyone if they asked about a particular dish and I couldn’t honestly say it was delicious. So, I ate a little bit of each. And everything was just as I expected, very good. I’ve been home all evening by myself going through boxes of stuff. She wasn’t exactly organized when it came to paperwork, but she knew where everything was, usually…
So, I came across a handwritten last will and testament. She said lots of stuff but I’ve been pretty torn up since I read the part where she tells me she loves me and forgives me for getting angry sometimes…money’s always been tight and I get stressed…and yes, I say shit I don’t mean sometimes and I always apologize later. It’s been bothering me some, even though I loved her with all my heart and soul. I can’t seem to let that go, my goddamned selfishness. I actually raised my voice to most wonderful woman in the world and it eats at my soul and breaks my heart.
She said that I was her friend and companion and more that I’ll skip. She thanked me for helping her do the things she couldn’t have done alone. She closed in asking me to please remember the good times and our love.
Jesus…give me strength, friends I gotta go…luv y’all
t-keela, do you have family or friends nearby that can help you?
Please, don’t rush yourself or force yourself to do things you’re not ready to do yet. It’s okay to wait a bit.
t-keela, it sounds like she realised you were human and loved you despite any short comings. Take solace in that. It was no mere passing fancy on her part. That was a true love. Cherish it.
You will find yourself wishing for so many different “just one more chance” scenarios. That’s okay. It’s normal. But, I sincerely hope you don’t beat yourself up over things.
That note of hers… she loved you, man. LOVED you. Hold on top that, please. Both the note and the memory. It is a gift .
Steve -NCB-
She forgave you for losing your temper. Wouldn’t she want you to forgive yourself?
My condolences. I just can’t imagine what you are going through. Please take care of yourself.
I’m better now, thanks guys. I’ve been up scanning photos and doing some stuff that needs to be done. I can;t get it done when there’s folks here all day and night. Yeah ivylass I’ve got plenty of support, probably the closest family I know. I actually hugged over two hundred people yesterday and knew each and every one fairly intimately. Believe me when I say Therese was well loved.
I started a journal last night Try this link As soon as I figure out why or how to post some photos I’m going to do so. I’ve got some nice shots. Most of them are of us…like I said before. I’m probably NOT going to put any pics of our kids on the site. You know how some people are and besides it’s really up to them since they’re teenagers.
It’s just a damned tragic shame that she couldn’t be here longer. We had some nice plans and a whole lotta folks missed out by not getting the chance to know her. Well, I’m going to attempt an introduction. It’ll probably take awhile. So, I’ll just write it in a journal, updating it as I’m able to. I could vent my feelings on this thread for a long time, I do believe.
Probably better this way. Thanks for the love and encouragement thus far. Guess what? The sun’s up, it’s a new day! Damn if I didn’t make it one more time. That’s how I’m doing it right now. One day at a time.
Peace, y’all. 
Thanks NCB
You’re right Brynda I was beating myself up some. I just found the letter last night. When I said, “torn up” after finding the letter. It was because she reached out from beyond and said exactly what I needed to hear. She understood that my frustration was due to financial stress and that it was okay. She knew I wasn’t mad AT her. I never really yelled or said anything intended for her. I would sometimes get pissed and blow off steam when the heartless f**ing bill collectors didn’t give a shit that BOTH my wife AND daughter had MD. That they are pre-existing conditions and are therefore not capable of acquiring medical insurance. It pissed me off to get layed off from work because I had to take off 4-5 days every month to carry them to the hospital for MD related problems. It pissed me off when my daughter’s neurologist quit working for the MDA because they wouldn’t pay him. So, we had to start driving to Dallas for treatment. A hundred miles one way instead of the 30 mile trip we were making to Tyler.
Now don’t misunderstand Brynda. I only raised my voice at one or two of these things. I didn’t tell her all of the things I had to deal with. I think she knew that I kept much of it to myself because I didn’t want her to worry about anything. All she had to do was take care of Gina and I promised to do everything else. I did for the most part. She insisted on working a little part time. That’s okay, she made some cash for whatever she did. I payed all the bills and never asked her for a dime of what she made. She was always offering but I couldn’t take her money.
She understood when my oldest and dearest friend passed away last year. I was very upset for a long time. I tried not to vent her way, I didn’t do a very good job of it I’m afraid. I wasn’t mad at her…EVER. I told her this many, many times. I would bring her flowers and cards on just a regular day from time to time. I did all of the cooking. When it was just the two of us. (Kids gone to camp, g-mas. ball etc) …we’d be like newlyweds. If we couldn’t afford to go out. I’d cook her whatever she wanted. I’d put on some tunes. She liked Sinatra and Bennet, Martin, Harry Connik Jr. the rat pack you know. Or maybe some Eric Clapton.
I’d run a jacuzzi and light a bunch of candles. She could only drink water and juice but on occasion a little wine would be fine.
Anyway, I need to put this in the journal and quit burning up the bandwidth here. 
{{{{{t-keela}}}}}
I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better.
Thanks again, too.
I can’t wait to see pictures of you and this incredible woman.
t-keela, if anything here helps you at all- one sentence, one word; your output or people’s input - I can’t think of a better use of this bandwidth. I highly doubt that anyone would disagree.
Right you are.
Burn all the bandwith you want - we’ll make more.