That was the moment my childhood felt pissed on. Well, sort of; I didn’t see the movie, so I was shocked and disappointed when the cartoons picked up after it continuity-wise.
My biggest disappointment in what I’ve read of the current movie so far is that Bumblebee transforms into a Camero instead of a VW bug. I’m sorry, but being a cute little bug was half his “personality,” not to mention appeal (even when playing with “boys’ toys,” I guess I still liked things little and cute).
Didn’t you guys have cool toys growing up? Let me guess, you guys had Intellivision, too. I place Micronauts (and Go-Bots for that matter) slightly above Lincoln Logs in terms of enjoyment and cool factor. The market agrees with me. My G1 1985 Optimus Prime (complete except for box – completely mangled and water logged) as well as my complete Jet Fire is going for a pretty penny on ebay. I don’t see that happening for either Go-Bots or Micronauts.
Everyone is disappointed. Apparently VW wouldn’t allow the bug design to be used in a violent movie.
I’d have no problem with what I know about the movie so far if the robots didn’t look like twisted hunks of metal.
Outside of IDW comics (which explain it as a dangerous and energy intensive technology that only the 'Cons use), Megatron hasn’t been a gun in any Transformers series since Generation 2 (which was just the original 'toon badly editted).
He’s been a T-rex, a dragon, a fighter plane, a tank, a spaceplane (the movie), and a flying fortress, but not a gun.
There’s 2 reasons for this - a) toy guns are a hard sell, and b) most of the post-G1 series have at least tried to keep the 'bots at the same scale in both forms.
You were the kid who insisted that the toys could only be played with in strict accordance with the information on the box, weren’t you? You couldn’t have Joes and Dreadnoks fighting on the same side, because that’s not how it was in the cartoon! I know your kind.
Oh yes, I had EXTREMELY cool toys growing up. Moreover, I didn’t need anybody else to tell me how cool they were. I MADE THEM COOL. Even that one little red GoBot became cool. Aaron from down the street, he had the whole damn line of GI Joes-- he even had the Aircraft Carrier! All the He-Man figures, too-- his parents were richer than all ass. And yet he still showed up to mess around with my lowly Micronauts and Sectaurs. He couldn’t handle the idea of mixing “good guys” with “bad guys” either, at first-- he couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that the Snake Eyes figure could ever represent anyone other than Snake Eyes. Couldn’t be a robot; couldn’t be one of the other characters in a different costume. But I broke him of that.
I had the Lincoln Logs. And you know what? They were COOL Lincoln Logs. You know why? Because it’s impossible for Lincoln Logs to NOT be cool when they’re the only thing between your Micronauts and the MIGHTY, GREAT-EMANCIPATOR’S-BIRTHPLACE-SHATTERING FISTS OF A GIANT RADIOACTIVE STEVE AUSTIN!
Had the Legos too-- COOL Legos. Today’s Legos, alas, are markedly less cool than those of old. They’re all custom molded for only one role, one fixed position on that particular Harry Potter diorama or whatever. You can’t truly claim to have played with Legos until you’ve built a submersible rocket car for your Black Hole action figures using only plain bricks and no wheels.
The all-time coolest toy set I can recall owning offhand was a completely generic Undersea Adventure diorama, probably manufactured in the wake of Jaws: it featured a boat with a shark cage, and three divers that would fall apart when you pulled their heads off, and a rubber shark, and a rubber giant octopus, and a couple of plastic rock formations, and a shipwreck with a treasure chest, and a little green rubber lobster and crab.
This set was intended to be assembled into a single large vignette, but it was so poorly manufactured that it could not even be put together in the way the directions specified-- the parts just wouldn’t line up properly. But it didn’t matter! I just laid out the separate parts any which way. So the boat couldn’t be properly affixed over the shipwreck? Who cares? Top of bed = ocean surface. Floor = seabed. Problem solved.
Those three nameless yellow-suited divers (and their pet lobster and crab) had the coolest adventures that could possibly be imagined. They duked it out with Micronauts; they awakened the long-lost Giant Steve Austin Colossus from his Lego tomb; they fought back invasions of tiny green homunculi from the mightily armed Guns of Navarone fortress. They even discovered the ancient civilization of Atlantis, ruled over by the stern yet wise King Squid Head, and populated by random Star Wars figures, NONE OF WHICH had the same name or identity as their character in the movies. Yes, you read that right: these Star Wars figures were played with in a context that had nothing to do with Star Wars. Does this not blow your mind?! I can tell that it does.
I would be genuinely astonished if an example of the Generic Crappily Manufactured Undersea Adventure Playset ever turned up on eBay. If it did, it would surely command a price far less than even the lowliest Transformer. That does not in the slightest alter the fact that it was The. Coolest. Toy. Set. EVER.
EVER.
I’m not even going to ask how you knew I had an Intellivision. But now I’ve got the goddamn theme to Burgertime stuck in my head for the first time in decades. I hope you’re happy.
Um, yeah. I could play DUNGAVANDAGONS eight hours straight. Pause functions were for wimps.
Actually, the Classics Voyager Megatron that came out last year is a gun (albeit a gray, purple, and transparent green Nerf-style gun), and the Masterpiece Megatron that came out earlier this year is a gorgeous, oversized, highly-detailed recreation of the original Walther P-38 version (only a lot better and more complex than the original toy).
Which are toys explicitly based on the G1 version, not any other part of the franchise, which was my point.
Beast Wars - T-Rex, dragon.
Car Robots/Rid - Dragon
Beast Machines - Dragon, flying fortress.
Unicron Trilogy - Tank, jet, racer.
Movie - Spaceplane.
While I never knew who in their right mind might think that an Intellivision was better than an Atari, I now also have Burgertime stuck in my head. There’s got to be a java release somewhere…damn, I gonna go find it. Great, now I’m hungry, too.
Releasing films here before they do in the US is not common. In fact, no kidding but they’ve just started showing this eight-year-old Scarlett Johansson movie called My Brother the Pig. They’re about to release Woody Allen’s Scoop in another week or two.
But the situation has gotten better over time. Ten or 20 years ago, very few movies came here, because the ones that did stayed on forever. I remember Jurassic Park and Forrest Gump both lasting about six months. Now, it’s common for a movie to disappear completely after just a couple of weeks. I suspect Transformers will be here a few weeks, though.
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-FrL-
I just pray that the Captain Planet and the Planeteers live-action film does justice to the original. They’d better not piss all over my twenties.
:dubious: They’re making a Captain Planet movie?
Not true! Just come over and see my four-year old play with his legos. For father’s day he bought me the Harry Potter Hogwarts castle and he is already changing all the heads around so that Dolores Umbridge has Hagrid’s beard, Harry Potter is a Death Eater, the suit of armor from the castle has become a helicopter pilot, and the castle towers are on top of his lego boat which is towing a car with a zebra and a Hogwarts fireplace riding on the roof.
Nah, I was joking. And I sincerely hope it remains a joke.
(Then again, Michael Bay directing a big-budget Transformers movie still sounds to me like something from The Onion too.)
Okay, I thought you were joking but I wasn’t quite sure.
A Captain Planet movie would just be… scary.
Depression, huh?
Wow, that is one of the best Father’s Day presents I’ve ever heard of. That kid knows how toys ought to be played with! How can Harry Potter characters be made entertaining? With head transplants, of course! Pure brilliance. I hope he never loses that transgressive edge.
When I was four, my Father’s Day gift to Dad was an interesting-looking rock I found in the driveway. He mounted it on a little plaque and kept it on his desk. But I’m sure he’d also have appreciated a vignette of characters from popular culture with transplanted heads. Dad had a real Charles Addams-style sense of humor.
I’ve never even heard of Captain Planet. Now, if they decide to make a movie based on Howdie Doody, now THAT will be an event.
They already did. It was called Toy Story.