Speaking for myself, I have looked at it both ways at different moments — on the one hand, it felt to me like I was opting to follow the girls, not the boys, with the same kind of feelings of partisanship with which I gravitate to social libertarians and not social conservatives. It seemed like most people became who they were expected (and pressured) to be. The social pressures themselves were real and I was vividly aware of them, since I was running afoul of them (by affirmative political choice, mind you): I brought down upon myself lots of hostility and mistreatment for being this way, and I got to be Exhibit A to everyone else for why you shouldn’t ought to be acting in ways that left you open to accusations that you were like one of the girls. 'Cuz if you do, the shit that you see happening to AHunter3 is gonna happen to you too.
So yeah, I tend to see it as social (and political), and I tend to have a bit of attitude to the sex-expectation conformists (“cowards, puppets”) although I’ve outgrown a good portion of that. I hope I have, anyway.
So, the flip side… what made me take this path and other kids not? Isn’t it likely that there’s something innate about my personality and inclinations that made me a particularly bad fit for the boy-expectations, and hence to feel pinched by them and wrongly seen by people who had those expectations of me? And if it’s innate, hey, either I’m inherently different from the other boys or else all that boy-expectation stuff is a bad fit for everybody and they’re all like me inside, in which case why am I inclined to push back and be a rebel against it and the others are not?
So at a minimum, the possibility that I have a genetic or otherwise-biological built-in difference has to be acknowledged. It could definitely be.
I really don’t like enshrining it as The Truth, though, because I don’t know it to be true and because of the political context, where there’s an established notion that it’s only okay to be different from the normative mainstream if it’s built-in, meaning you can’t help it. As if we’d be to blame for bringing it on ourselves by our choices and our self-selected behaviors, and that absolves society of having done bad stuff to us. No it fucking doesn’t. This is an important point, okay? No it fucking doesn’t. If my difference, whether self-selected or built-in genetic, isn’t hurting anyone, isn’t hurting society, then no, it isn’t okay for society to shun and be all hostile just because I’m not a goddam carbon copy clone-puppet of the rest of you. Do you get that? You on board with that? Good, then can we please discard the implicit political notion that we should believe such diffs are built-in?
Radical feminists, whose focus has been 90% on the question of female compliance vs. revolt against the girl-expectations, and only marginally on the boy-stuff, have been even more inclined to see all female people as not fitting the expectations, to see the expectations as ideological and imposed as part of patriarchal oppression.
I think that useful social-political intellectual conversation, as well as scientific research on the topic, still benefits from considering the “innate versus socialized” matter to be an unresolved question and to continue to explore what it could and might mean for us either way.