The redneck solution would be to buy a broken-down '87 Ford Escort and park it strategically in your yard.
At least it was paved and intended for vehicle use though. While technically illegal, its not nearly as much of a dick move as driving through someone’s yard to pull that maneuver.
I’d petition the town to put in a curb, offering to pay for it if need be. Granite curbs with their sharp corners cuts peoples willingness to drive over them dramatically.
That’s going to be expensive.
Thank you. Some OK suggestions, but a lot of people just being pussies. “Oh, my, can’t have any boulders because someone might tell me to move them!” “What if it’s iLLEGal to hurt some white trash piece of shit?”
A row of rebar or 4x4 as a “fence” should do it. Low, nearly invisible, and capable of causing as much damage or injury as possible. OK, file for a permit if you want. If some white honkey sues you, defend yourself – and you’ll win.
That or the invisible ditch. It should be the fuck invisible – why warn some cocksucker that their car is about to be totalled? It’s just landscaping, not hurting anybody, and it’s your yard. Fuck them.
Why don’t we just wait for the OP to come back with his town’s restrictions? Now that we have clarification that, indeed, people are shortcutting the stop sign and driving through his yard, not the edge of it, he just needs to know the town’s restrictions on structures or shrubs on his land. Then he can take action as best suits his needs. There are lots of great suggestions here that he can choose from.
Where’s the fun in waiting for restrictions, and being legal and considerate? I want to come back to this thread to find that the OP has posted footage of some yahoo with his tricked-out Trans Am skewered on rebar, rocking back and forth (with a garden gnome looking on with a “I Told Ya No Trespassing!” sign). With all the neighbors pointing and laughing, and a local cop writing Billy Bob Boy a ticket.
Agreed. But there’s no fun in staring down a lawsuit because you willfully set up a trap to cause damage either. I do like the idea of watching someone run into an old K-car however.
The redneck solution to my solution would be mowing straight through the '87 Escort, fender be damned.
Setting up a “trap”, something designed to damage and possibly injure (lose control, stop dead, etc.) is a guarantee that you will get a lawsuit. No matter how many assholes go through your yard, you can’t set them up to be injured… or to lose control and hit a nearby pedstrian, surge into crosstraffic, or whatever. Property is not at the same value level as personal safety.
SO anything that blocks the view of oncoming traffic, even if only for someone low in a Mini or Ferrari, is a hazard; anything that stops the vehicle dead unexpected, or damages it so control can be lost - is a hazard. Any obstacle must be very visible and marked… and reasonable.
If a person is actually injured through a trap, or there is serious damage to a car, it can be criminal charges not just a lawsuit.
So it’s not people suggesting the OP be a pussy; they are suggesting he not get himself arrested. Even if you get off, you could go broke defending yourself. No lawn is worth that.
Why am I thinking right now of Dolan’s Cadiallic and how much fun that would be?
Nah. It would only need to run about 5 feet short of the steel pole. That would prevent people from driving through the yard and give them plenty of room to see once they get to the stop sign.
It’s the first yard I’ve ever seen without a curb or ditch. Where does the rain go?
My vote is for something that’ll cause a lot of damage to the vehicles and preferably not be too obvious. About a one foot tall curb along the driveway would be perfect.
For what it’s worth, a cable fence could be made without costing too much, and it could be an effective deterrent.
(On edit) I’d use 4X6 or 6X6 posts buried deep so that it wouldn’t be too unattractive, and wind 5/16" cable from level to level to minimize hardware costs. The cable in the video is made to break away. This will not happen if you drill through the middle of a 6-by post.
I’m confused. Since there is a stop sign, any driver should actually stop at the corner before turning. There’s is all the visibilty needed at the corner to determine if it is safe to turn. How are they “entitled” to extra visibility of the traffic coming from the right? I’ve seen plenty of instances where the brick wall would go all the way to the edge of the property. What jurisdiction has such a stupid law on the books?
I say extend the brick or put up a low (waste high) chain-link fence.
I find it unconscionable that anyone would drive over that grass and onto your driveway. What low-lifes. What if there was a child playing on your driveway or lawn?
Would those low-lives run over patriotic yard signs? They wouldn’t hurt a Smiley Face Jesus sign, would they?
A lot of zoning laws prohibit fencing the front yard. I know my area doesn’t allow it. A row of medium sized rocks along the property line might work. At least they can be easily removed if the zoning inspector leaves a warning on your front door.
I think what you really want is a Ha-ha.
Indeed!
Chimera, md2000, Quartz, and I are all suggesting that. One is suggesting the vertical wall be toward the street and one is saying it should be somewhat obscured, facing the OP’s driveway. I’m suggesting it should face the street but be angled away from the road as it goes down – and be obscured by water, debris, and pond plants.
Adding or as an alternative to my original idea (see the monospaced dissertation on page two), I’d suggest grading the driveway to deepen way from the street as a means of drainage control. The dirt removed would be used to build the height of the Ha Ha wall (whether or not you conceal it with water), while the base of the Ha Ha and the far end of the driveway would have 4" drainage pipe buried to catch the run-off and channel it to the street. Alternatively, you could slope the driveway away from your house and, again, use the scrapings to build up that Ha Ha wall – again with drainage pipes at the base of the wall and the slope. Plant grass or lay sod in the front yard and a casual observer would look to his right to see only a grass-filled yard; the rise and height of the Ha Ha would obscure the driveway itself.
Mind you, all this is just to keep that dirt driveway from turning into a mud-slogged trail from the road to your door come rain season. It has nothing at all to do with traffic or trespassers, rude drivers, or cheap Doper entertainment – but you would certainly hear us laughing – Ha! Ha!
A tow-truck driver I once met noted that the Escort was basically Ford putting a non-hatchback body onto the Pinto frame – without ever fixing the famous gas tank problem. The vengeful solution to the redneck solution to your solution would be to put a couple of those escorts (or better yet, go ahead and get a couple ancient Pintos) on that lawn facing the front of the driveway – and make sure those tanks have plenty of gasoline in them.
–G!
Highway patrol’s got his eyes on me
Nobody’s thinkin’ that it ain’t good…
. --Tim Johnston (Doobie Brothers)
. Rockin’ Down the Highway
. Toulouse Street
I vote for a dry groyne.
Then you can use a cool sign http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8a/Keep_off_the_Groynes_-_geograph.org.uk_-_409435.jpg
A lot of people have come up with ideas for undercarriage damage, but I’m wondering about ways to mess up paint jobs.