Trip's Trip Report: Clovis, NM

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This ain’t quite Fodor’s, but here goes:

Clovis, NM is about 10 miles from the Texas border, up towards the panhandle. It’s less-than-suburban sprawl includes Texico, Portales, and Cannon AFB, NM, Farwell and Bovina, TX, and a vast amount of land with a large population of cattle [sub]fcking cows[/sub]. When you visit Clovis, you’ll note the rich historical accents of cattle barons running their ranches, and if the wind is just right, you might even catch the scent of a dairy farm wafting in the breeze [sub]fcking cows[/sub]. One just feels the richness of life as the tumbleweed after tumbleweed after tumbleweed after frickin’ tumbleweed rolls across highway US 60/84, and the strength of industry in the area as long freight trains roll past you at the crossing, for twenty minutes on end. Locally, the economy is cattle based, with dairy farms in NM, and feed lots the size of Rhode Island just across the border in the panhandle of Texas.

But this town is booming! According to reports, the largest cheese factory in North America is currently being built in town, with the capacity of producing 8.0 million pounds of cheese a week![sub]f*cking cows[/sub] Once the Congressionally-mandated Base Realignment and Closure (BRAC) review closes Cannon Air Force Base, it’s no wonder why they’ll be calling Clovis the “Little Wisconsin of the Southwest”.

While the philosophical debates by the locals of “tastes great” versus “less filling” may be severely stifled by the fact that the city issued over 30+ liquor licenses, and a single church bought up all but 5 of them, don’t let a lack of culture fool you. There is a fine boot and hat shop on the main East-West street through town, and one can always find their fill of veterinary supplies at a store called Gebo’s sub[/sub] (just behind K-Bob’s). Plus, the morning farm report on KCLV-FM at 0630 will always enlighten you on the local happenings as well as the spring wheat prices in Omaha, Nebraska and cattle prices in Albuquerque. And let’s not forget the plentiful antique and used-things stores located nearly on every street corner.

The Bottom Line: If you haven’t figured it out already, Clovis is not exactly a ‘cultural Mecca’ of Eastern New Mexico. A lot of people would say “don’t blink!” about a lot of small towns in the US. I’d tell you to just keep your damned eyes closed as you drive through this one. With the floating stench of the damned bovine, it was amazing I got any work done down there at all.

Give me Minot, ND any day of the week.

Tripler
. . . and to hell with those fucking cows.

2

Curry County. I haven’t been through there in a long time. I live a hundred of so miles south of there in another city. Never noticed the cow odor problem, maybe there are more dairies now. Meth seems to be rearing its ugly head there with recent robberies and homicides. I’d think that crops of various sorts would be a greater $ producer than meat cows (and milk in accordance to the large cheese plant). Way bigger than a “don’t blink town.”

3

One would think that certain “ crops" would generate "”, but no.

Apparently, it’s all about the cheese.

Tripler
I just spent five minutes looking at that last sentence, and I can’t come up with a joke for the life of me.

4

It’s okay. I’ve got one for you.

Thanks to the “fresh country air” [sub]that smells like cow shit[/sub], we now know precisely why the cheese stands alone.

Robin

5

Give Clovis some credit. Not every town has an important period of human settlement of North America named after it…

6

You probably wouldn’t be surprised if I told you there are still Neanderthals living in that area. . . :rolleyes:

Tripler
I’m doggone serious.

7

There’s a famous landmark out them parts called The Seven Sisters, a group of freestanding sandstone hoodoos. T’was on a geology field trip there and our guide said that just the week before someone had tripped over an item at one of 'em’s base, looked down and there were five perfect Clovis points buried in the dirt. A hundred plus years back, probably a whole lot more, some Clovis traveller had buried 'em there, meaning to come back at some later time and retrieve them only he apparently was killed before he had the opportunity.

Clovis is a pretty happenin’ place… just not all right now.

8

In new world archaeology, Clovis is a pretty important name. Click here to learn more.

9

You think driving through is bad? Try LIVING there.

I spent almost two hellish years in the pit known as Clovis. My hubby was stationed at Cannon AFB, known for the highest rate of alcholism, divorce, and suicide CONUS. (CONUS is military speak for bases that are stateside)

You just haven’t lived untill you have walked the “Hall” (The mall was three stores long with a Wall Mart) Or been to Builie Brothers, a pawn shop the size of LA. And lets not forget the Shifty Fifty! Old white guys running the town to make sure no 'wimmin or any of them mi-nor-ities get any funny ideas about equality or some such.

My husband called me everyday from work to make sure I hadn’t bugged out on him. I guess it wasn’t unusual for guys to come home to an empty house and a note saying, “Screw this! I’m outta here!”

Finding a job? Nope, uh uh, no way. Military wife? Why don’t you go home and take care of your babies? What, be’in a good wife isn’t GOOD enough for you? :mad:

I could, and have, gone on about this place for hours. Trust me, bad. Place BAD. Not like. BAD.

One of the happiest days of my life was seeing this smoldering pit of oppression in my rear view mirror.

10

I gotta ask, Tripler, what the heck were you doing in Clovis? I mean, there are reasons I take I-40 heading east instead of something like US-84, and that’s one of them. Plus, it’s slower and out of my way, but still, Clovis? It’s not even the best route to get to something in southeastern New Mexico.

11

From DeHusband (who has a sister near Clovis, poor soul):

12

I was up in Minot for 3 1/2 years, and because of the friends I had, my bosses, and the work, I loved every friggin’ minute of it. And I would go back (although, it’s not exactly highest on my list of places to get stationed at).

asterion, I went down there to do some construction at Cannon. I’m with RED HORSE, and I took a crew down there to take some old, WWII overhead power lines and put 'em underground. But, supplies are coming in as slow as molasses in January in Winnipeg, so I had to come back home and wait for 'em. I’ll be back down there [sub]::shudder[/sub] in late June.

But, the “Shifty Fifty” is still down there. And Wal-Mart moved across the street. They’ve now got a SuperCenter, and they do have a liquor license. Will wonders never cease?

Tripler
Fucking cows.

13

I don’t know why, but I have the impression we have the same opinion of cows.

Must be something subliminal…

14

If you enjoyed Clovis, take some of your off time there and really get to know Bovina and its residents.

I once stopped for gas & lunch in Bovina while driving to Holloman AFB. Despite being a 24 yearold short-haired white-skinned military officer I was nearly attacked in the diner for the crime of driving a German sportscar, not a Ford F-150 like God intended.

The popularity of the current administration makes a lot more sense when your realize that large swaths of America are just like those people. Scary is not nearly the word for it.

15

Wow, is Cannon definitely getting BRAC-ed? Don’t mean to hijack, but I’ve been following this since the OK bases are being reviewed. It’ll be interesting to see what comes out next month. The geographic isolation of the armed forces from population centers is probably due to airspace issues, but Mrs. C is getting tired of living in remote, pissant air force towns. I miss good restaurants.

16

No, it’s not a definite closure, because the BRAC list hasn’t come out yet.

But on the plus side, I can recommend “K-Bob’s” as a decent salad and steak place. But they only serve beer. . .

And LSLGuy, I’ve been through Bovina on the way to Amarillo. I didn’t realize it was federally legal to operate feed lots the size of Rhode Island.

Tripler
Clovis: Just think of all the free cheese you can get in a few months!

17

You don’t happen to live in Hobbs or Lovington, do you?

18

How many flying saucers did you see? :eek:

19

I have also lived in North Dakota, and I liked that TONS better than Clovis.

People in North Dakota were nice, and friendly, and helpful, and did I mention nice?

I always wondered why Clovis fought so hard to keep Cannon, when it was obvious they hated the military. Cannon was 16 miles from Clovis, and everything closed at five. The base shift ended at 4:30.

And if you asked if there was a military discount, you would get these blank looks.

When they opened the Taco Bell (Yes, the opening of Taco Bell was a huge deal) people waited 3 HOURS in a line for a bean burrito. That was all they had.

But by far, the most interesting conversations happened when I was traveling.

Me: “My husband is stationed in New Mexico”

Person “Really, I didn’t know we had bases in Mexico.” :eek:

Me: “No, NEW Mexico. It’s a state between Arizona and Texas.”

People would looked confused. I would shake my head and worry about the lack of geographical knowledge in todays adults.

20

I had a girlfriend that was a Clovis native. She didn’t have many nice things to say about the place, except “that’s the smell of money!” I’ve been to Greeley, Colorado during rainy season, watched the sunset over the Gary Works, and visited the baño hombres at the Juarez city market, but the stench hovering out of Clovis, New Mexico is far, far more pungent.

Clovis assaults your eyes as well as your nose; it’s perhaps one of the most unattractive small cities I’ve stumbled across. Ever see those images of a tacky late 1950s-era commercial strip in a Los Angeles suburb, with generic buildings, seas of blacktop uninterrupted by landscaping of any sort, and massive googie-style signs adorned with space-age imagery like rockets and satelites and whatnot? Well, the main strip in Clovis is exactly like that, only left to decay over time with almost no updating. Let’s throw in a good assortment of commercial businesses you tend to see in more “Confederate” areas, like heavy equipment rental, mobile homes sales, shed dealers, used 18 wheeler dealers, wrecking yards and prefab mini-storage units – most in architectural wonders supplied by “The General” – and you’ve got Main Street Clovis.

Small cities in New Mexico seem to come in two forms; not too shabby (Santa Fe, Las Cruces, Roswell, Carlsbad, Farmington) and worse than a Gentoo Linux-using tradng card gamer’s armpit on the third day of Stargeekfurrygalaxycon '05 (Clovis, Hobbs, Alamogordo, Gallup).