I like this thread. Receipt sandwiches are the worst.
Bananas that are too green. Bananas that are too brown. Mushy bananas. Banana flavored anything. (perfectly ripe yellow bananas are fine.)
Any shopping center ever.
People who don’t turn right on a green arrow.
My husband’s obnoxiously loud sneezes.
Getting the hiccups - always painful.
Oh my God this thread is gonna be endless.
Websites that make me scroll through state names in addresses instead of just letting me type in two letters.
Fruits and produce are hard to judge. Back in the day you could ask the produce manager if he had tried the cantaloupe (Or whatever) and he had an opinion. Now he/she is about 12 years old and the only fruit/veggie he has ever eaten came in a Happy Meal.
My next pisser is Nurses who say I hope I don’t hurt you, please Nurse just give me the dang shot, quick and overwith, please…
By habit, I’m a fast walker even when I don’t have to hurry to get anywhere, so getting stuck behind slow-walking people is annoying for me.
Depictions of snowflakes that have anything other than 6-fold symmetry.
“Pennsylvania Dutch” people are NOT DUTCH, it’s a corruption of “Deutsche”; the group being referred to are FREAKIN’ GERMAN. I hear this error over and over in my PA/NJ neck of the woods and it chaps my hide.
C’mon folks! I’m a West Coast transplant and I know this.
This is more on the “what infuriates you?” scale, but I need to vent.
Yes, the Orange Turd said “shithole” (or, according to breaking news, “shithouse”). He’s a hideous, racist, ignorant, shithead mountebank. We get it.
So, CNN, dial your 24/7 breathless coverage of Shitgate back. Hours and hours of talking head panelists and anchors offering their great pearls of wisdom (all the while coyly avoiding saying the shit word) is a masturbatory feedback loop.
Well, to be fair, CNN hasn’t been a news organization for years and likely has forgotten how to actually report news. I sometimes have it on as very low volume background noise when I work from home; I get my Grown-up News from the BBC/NPR/et al.
-When my cat waits until AFTER I clean the litter box to take a big dump.
-When you get to the end of a bag of tortilla chips and they’re all broken up. They’re too small to dip, but there’s too many to justify throwing them away.
-People who start a thread asking for advice, or an opinion, and then get all butthurt because nobody tells them what they want to hear.
People who eavesdrop and need to know to whom I am speaking. If I were speaking to them, I would let them know.
People who stop to wave when I cede my right of way; just drive, dammit!
People who let their children run up to my dog; she’s a sweetie, and loves children, but they don’t know that.
Cheap t-shirts. On anyone.
Starting a Netflix movie in another language.
I sit near the water cooler at our office. I am annoyed at the noise made by the water going into a person’s empty mug.
Funny, I don’t mind that at all.
Kitty wants to play its charr!
Does a complete inability to understand what a plan is count as trivial? It may count as trivial thanks to being so rare (what’s trivial is the probability of encountering it in the wild), but it does drive me nuts.
People doing the credit card shuffle. Waiting until I tell them how much it comes to, then looking though every thing in their pocket or purse until they find their big fat wad of cards, then having to to through them five or six times before the card they want to use. You can’t do this before you get on line?
Thank you for reminding me! My husband has an obnoxious, loud sneeze too. UGH It almost gives me a heart attack when I hear it.
More grocery store stuff…
People who bring the entire damn family with them to go grocery shopping. Husband, wife, three or four kids, driving the giant aisle-blocking kid cart, kids standing around getting in everyone else’s way, clueless parents oblivious to their kids’ behavior. Maybe just one of you should go to the store and the other one stay home with the kids.
Grocery store displays that take up half the aisle, making it impossible for carts going in opposite directions to pass each other. The aisles are barely wide enough as it is, you need to fill them with more obstructions? (Yes I know it’s a marketing thing. It still chaps my fanny.)
Stocking the store on weekend mornings when the store is chock full of customers. You’re open 24 hours, why can’t you stock overnight when the store is empty?
Baggers who cram 50 pounds of groceries into two of my reusable bags, leaving the other four empty. I have six bags! Use them all!
Is it obvious that grocery shopping is a major stressor for me? 
Oh yeah, that reminds me:
Grocery cashiers who— after I painstakingly organize all the cans of cat food in separate stacks by flavor, to make it easier for them to ring them up in quantity— scan them all individually anyway.
<beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep>
(Years pass, seemingly… barbed looks from people in line behind me…)
<beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep><beep>
Ding! Except that I AM an old white guy chiming in for no reason other than to be an example of and old white guy chiming in for no reason.
I have asked about this several times and the most consistent, useful reply is that store policy says they have to do it for security reasons. Cashiers who under count on purpose when doing batch ring ups might or have been cheating to help friends…
They can see the difference on the security tapes between what the employee did vs what was rung up.
And I put all the cold stuff together to help it stay cold on the trip home so why do they mix it with warm products? Or do not double bag 2 liter bottles and never double bag 2-3 when in the same bag. No, put in in with the bread, that is a much better idea. I love ‘smooched’ bread. ::: gah :::
As in Heinlein’s book, she’s looking for “A Door Into Summer.” 
When the metro stops, and then starts again to move 1 inch forward.