you want to get played, have at it. my MOV.
Thanks
:dubious:
I’m not the thought police either; however, I strenuously object to people tossing out “that person needs to be raped” as though it’s a valid option for punishment.
Spongemom, I have some free advice for you, worth every bit of what it costs.* Don’t go on trying to get hold of this guy, in fact if he tries to call or IM you don’t answer, at least not right away.
Instead, you need to think back over the relationship you’ve had with this person, but from the assumption that he’s been lying his ass off the whole way. Look for inconsistencies, stuff that didn’t quite add up, odd little bits and pieces that you found excuses for, or didn’t bother to look very closely at.
From what you’ve posted, it appears you’ve been revealing a number of your vulnerabilities to this guy and he’s been responding in ways that made you feel better. You’ve seen this as the support of a father figure. Now you have to step back and give it the jaundiced eye you’d use for the bullshit of a manipulative bastard. I bet as you think it over you’ll see other things that don’t make sense without blind faith in the teller of the tale.
This is damned painful to do. It’ll feel like you’re betraying someone who’s been good to you at first. Then it’ll feel like you’re stabbing yourself in the gut as you realize just how you’ve been played.
But you need to sort this stuff out within yourself before you have any further dealings with this guy. Because if he does in fact talk to you, he’s going to push all the buttons you’ve shown him to keep you under his control.
Yeh, this guy I believe has been playing mind control games with you. You have to cut the cable or he’ll go on fucking with your mind.
*It cost me a lot of heartache with a heaping helping of humiliation.
I’ve been back through my archives, and found a few things that didn’t add up quite right. I don’t want to jump too far to conclusions before hearing his side, but bet your ass I’ll be on my toes no matter what he says. My guard has shot way the hell up the more I’ve thought about it.
On everything else, you pretty much hit the bullseye. He was my support group, so to speak. I vented a lot of shit to him, and he always knew what to say to cheer me up. Thinking back, some of it was a little…well…odd, but at the time, I wasn’t thinking along those lines.
He has two voice mail messages I left yesterday, and a shitload of offline messages waiting for him as well. Now it’s up to him to come up with some answers.
Chin up, I sill think you are OK.
To be blunt, what you need to do now is think along the lines of this guy, after getting all this info from you, logging off and having a great big sniggering laugh with his buddies over your shit. Of him imitating you, mocking you when he recited to them the most painful, personal details you entrusted to him.
Odds are good he won’t get back to you because the jig is up. The accident story was a way not only to play on your emotions but to get out of a meeting that would have blown his game to hell. Whether he’ll respond depends on how likely he thinks it is that he can get you back under his thumb.
I know you think your guard is high enough now to protect you. I have my doubts – scum like him are very very good at manipulating their toys. Sorry if that seems harsh, but I’m telling you hard-won truths, and, frankly, a person with your trusting naivete is a pushover for his kind of cynical manipulative skills.
Maybe I don’t understand the internet that well, or messageboards for that matter, but why fake an accident with injuries if he just wanted to get out of meeting her? Why not lie about a flat tire or something?
** Spongemom**,
Maybe this should be a lesson to you before you go posting about personal things that are negative about a lot of people (truckers).
Also, if you believe the worst case scenario about this guy–that he lied to you about a horrific accident, either to dupe you into feeling sorry for him or to avoid meeting you for the first time–it should give you pause before you go about wishing rape and lost limbs on people you don’t know and who don’t possibly exist.
Oh, any comment from Giraffe about his accusation? Seems like the only stalker or troll in this whole mess is not BWS
I thought I’d cleared it up that I have no problems with the majority of truckers…
Mods this is not an accusation, just a passing thought please please please don’t kill me.
Spongemom Did you tell him about this board? It strikes me that you were “outed” by a guest. And that there has been a couple of guests in this thread.
Just saying.
As a guest , I’m curious about your post. What do you mean by “outed?”
And, Spongemom , I was just giving you something to think about. By your own account, you shouldn’t have any problems with any truckers.
He might have been setting her up for borrowing money or something in the future. You know, I was so kind to you that I was going to give you a car, no questions asked. Now I’m limbless and can’t play the guitar - can you loan me a couple thou so I can buy that new Lazy Boy I’ve had my eye on?
I’m not a mod, and not trying to junior-mod here, just offering this observation of board custom: This sort of question is best asked privately of the administration, either through email or by using the “Report Bad Post” button on a post you find dubious. At least, that’s the message I’ve seen the mods offer when a question like this comes up in a thread.
Spongemom, you may also want to evaluate what’s going on in your life that makes you so vulnerable that you would open up to a complete stranger and come to think of him as your “daddy.” I cannot see how that can be healthy, and I hope you can get some perspective from this mess.
You may also want to be suspicious of people as a whole, because you may have been burned from this. I hope you would consider that one anonymous jerk does not represent humanity.
I would also suggest you not contact him anymore. Two phone messages and several offline messages are enough. If he is who you suspect him to be, then you’re better off not being involved with him anymore.
WTF? It isn’t like she was posting rumors or anything she even suspected might be false. I don’t like the idea of “rape as punishment,” either, but I’m not going to fault her for getting upset and posting when she genuinely thought someone close to her had been seriously injured. Not to mention that I don’t see how this is an “anti-truckers” thread.
If she’d been told that the guy was hit by a minivan with a doped-up driver, and had posted as much here, would it have been an an anti-minivan thread? No, it would still be an anti-that-one-guy-who-drove-on-drugs thread.
Sorry I got mad at you Spongemom, I am new to the boards and assumed you were another example of the kind of troll who makes up crap like this on message boards, instead of the victim of one. I have mixed feelings on calling the lies in public, I think maybe I did you a favor but that certainly wasn’t my intention and I apologize for any pain this might have caused.
Yeah, I did. I linked him to it to ask him if I got all the info correct, and asked him to register and post if there was anything that needed cleared up. His response: “I will later.” That was the last night I talked to him.
You’re right, ivylass, all the messages I’ve left are plenty. If he doesn’t return any of them, I’ll know my answer. And the only people on my list that I’m not suspicious of now are my brother, my sister, my two cousins, and my neighbor. Yes, I’ve met them all, and we are actually related. Except for my neighbor.
I need to tell everybody else on my forum what I’ve been thinking, but I’m gonna at least give Bard a couple more days to respond to it all before I unleash what will surely be a painful can of worms, because there are a lot of other people on my forum who look up to him and care about him just as much as I did. If he doesn’t respond in a couple more days, I’ll just give them all I know and let them make up their own minds. And there’s a lot of evidence working against him right now.
C3, I can’t even afford to spend “a couple thou” on my own son without saving up for months, I’ll be damned if I loan that much to anyone else.
Contrary to (seemingly) popular belief, this was NOT intended to be an anti-trucker thread. It started out as an anti-that-one-drugged-up-one thread, and now it’s an anti-deception-and-lies thread. The pit works in strange ways, I guess.
If it wasn’t for BWS, I doubt I would have looked this close at the whole situation, and my forum would probably have another “Where did Bard go? Is he ok?” thread (the rest of which have been removed from the forum). I used to think it was weird that there weren’t any articles on the “accident” (I searched google constantly for the first two weeks of this month with no results), but I just thought “Hey, not everybody makes it to the news.” But going back through my archives, I’ve uncovered a lot of inconsistencies, and without answers from the man himself, I can only assume answers of my own, and they aren’t pretty. So BWS, thanks for making me look further into this whole thing, and I accept your apology. You actually did do me a favor.
But…he’s banned. Nevermind.
You still did the right thing in thanking him for a painful but needed eye-opener, so kudos to you. Even if he did it to stir up trouble rather than help you, you got some good out of it.
When you spill the whole ugly truth to your forum, a lot of people are going to be freaking out, and some will defend “Bard” no matter what proof you offer. I don’t envy you the horrible scene you’ll have to deal with. Do you think it will help you to know that you were far from the only one to be taken in?