I hope it isn’t a bona fine speech impediment, because it would be cruel and very politically incorrect to laugh at someone with a speech impediment…
“Dis is daah A twain to Bwook wan…nacks stop a hawn dwead and foetie fifth stweet…twanz fuuh foe da Cee oh dah Dee twain aah kwauss dah pwatt foam…stan queeah dah quozan dawwaz”
OK, everybody throw things at me, I know, I’m horrible and mean to be sitting there in my seat cracking up every time the guy hits the microphone button…hee hee hee…
“Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togever today. Mawwage - that bwessed awwangement…”
Damn, you beat me to it. FWIW, this is a real speech impediment–some people never learn to make l’s and r’s.
He has a fwiend, you know…
Be good! My son still has troubles with his Ls, Rs and Ss. We try not to giggle when he answers the question, “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” with “thpongebob thquare panth”. He’s getting better at it.
Prow-shayne stassio’, At - - water.
Prow-shayne stassio’, Guy - - Con-cor-dyah.
Prow-shayne stassio’, Peel.
Prow-shayne stassio’, Mc - - Gill.
Prow-shayne stassio’, Plass - - - - - - - deyzaw.
When I rode BART,(uhm…bay area residents know what I’m talking about)me and my boyfriend kept laughing. What he was saying was “This trains’ last stop is Pleasanton”. But we kept hearing “This trains’ last stop is Placenta”. I know its dumb, but we’re childish and kept giggling.
whenever anyone in spanish uses the conditional form of the verb “to earn”, i giggle. it’s spelled ganaría, but it sounds like the std.
that relates, right?
I was only in NYC once but found myself mentally reciting the old Jack Benny conductor bits. “Next stop, Santa Monica, Canoga Park and Rancho coooc-amonga”
Welease Wodewick!
Centuwion, why do they titter so?
There was an old Henry Rollins spoken work where he comments on the same situation on a NJ transit train: “(loud crackle)NEXT STOP: VIETNAM”
You haven’t lived until you’ve had the pleasure of riding the Washington Metro’s Red Line, with a conductor welcoming you to “the wed line in the direction of Shady Gwove.”
Trust me.
Perhaps some of you have seen the SNL episode, hosted by Harvey Keitel, with the sketch where people are standing on the subway platform, hearing the “Mbz umz phzump bzgm fzzimz” announcement. Cut to Keitel in the PA booth who really is saying “Zzp nimp phub bizt…” Other cast members come into the booth: “Mbul dnurb! Hzub pmb rzid.” “Tzom bist grb?” “Wzd puzd rdit!”
I love the way the automated voice says: “Villa Maria”. It’s got the whole lilt and spanish accent going for it.
Although when the conductor him/herself says it, it’s a mumbled french-sounding mechanical sound.
Well we don’t have rail system here in Themeparkopolis, so I have to content myself with the guy on the weather band radio. Sounds like he’s talking both out of his nose and the back of his throat at the same time.
No transit system here. We have to content ourselves with figuring out how the hell some of these NPR personalities ever got their first radio gig. I mean, I love Carl Castle’s voice, but when you hear it you don’t think “Great for the Radio!” Don’t get me started on Diane Rheam…
I heard an announcer at Newcastle railway station once who… well, she didn’t exactly have a speech impediment, as such, it was her intonation. She put enormous stress on every unimportant word in the announcement, while muttering all the bits you actually needed to hear. Something like:
“THE train now [sub]arriving at[/sub] PLATFORM [sub]four[/sub] IS THE [sub]eighteen-forty[/sub] FROM [sub]newcastle[/sub] TO [sub]somewhere else[/sub] calling AT [sub]if i told you i’d have to kill you[/sub].”
Weird, very mannered, elocution-school accent. She’d obviously worked very hard at learning to make announcements this way. I can’t help wondering why…
The NYC subway announcements are a real adventure. The speaker systems on the platform are cheap and antiquated, so they really do sound like that SNL routine. If you can make out two words, you’re lucky.
Once you get on the train, sometimes you’ll get one of these guys who smoothly announces the local attractions at each stop, e.g. “this is 34th Street, Empire State Building, Penn Station…thank you for riding the MTA, have a pleasant day.” Always seems so out of place, the courtesy and enthusiasm…
Then there are the accents. Strange, isn’t it, that people with incomprehensible accents should be given a job as a conductor making train announcements such that no one can understand them. There’s one guy on the F line who sounds like he’s been given electroshock, calling out the stops and transfers in this loud, droning monotone. It always makes me laugh. There’s another guy with a heavy French accent. It sounds like he should be singing “Thank Heaven for Little Girls” when actually he’s telling you you can transfer for the N and R at 4th Avenue.
“Frrrrrrraanklin, Forrrrge Park, now booooaaaarrrrrrrrrrding, track number two.” (Pammipoo will recognize this one…).
I haven’t taken a NYC Subway in over 5 years, praise be to God, but my favorite Queens conductor is the guy who says “Paaawwwwwsins Boulebawd” In my family we now call all boulevards “boulebawd”.
Hey, cut the lady some slack. She’s actually had a real problem with her vocal cords and is undergoing continuing medical treatment for it. I seem to remember Valkyrie saying something about a botulism toxin treatment, much in the same manner as plastic surgery for wrinkles, but I’m not asserting that as complete fact until I talk with her again.
As regards the OP:
I’ve never heard the “Shady Gwove” announcer, but that’s because I usually ride the Green/Yellow and Orange/Blue lines to work. There’s one announcer on the Green Line who has a very silky voice (it sounds like she should be announcing the train stops in the Great Hereafter), and the Blue Line has a bunch of Barry White and Isaac Hayes wanna-bes. I swear, if they played a funky bass-line for some of these announcers, people are going to start makin’ out in the trains.