Tumor burgers?

With all the hubbub about beyond awesome impossibly plant-based burgers, I was curious about lab-grown meats again. Would it be possible to just take leftover tumors/cancers from patients and grow them in petri dishes into burgers? Do tumor cells taste similar to other meats?

This is why you’re not in marketing.

:smiley:

Hmmm, let’s take diseased tissue, and feed it to people.

What could possibly go wrong?

If you add enough hot sauce…

Tumors aren’t growing properly, which tends to cause all sorts of problems. Typically, they crowd out everything, including blood vessels, so only the outer portions of the tumor are getting the nutrients they need, while the inner parts die and rot.

Which is exactly why Tumor Burgers™ are always so juicy on the inside!

An intriguing question.

What with women eating their placentas and ostensible humans drinking their urine for health purposes, I see no reason why tumor entrees and snacks couldn’t be popularized in the right setting.

From a succulent, meaty standpoint, smooth muscle tumors (i.e. leiomyomas of the uterus) have plenty to offer. Other forms of neoplasia are more problematic. I doubt teratomas and other cystic ovarian tumors could be turned into attractive meals, but then again all sorts of things go into making sausage and few seem to mind.

One of my clients was in the animal feed industry. Tumors were definitely considered something that was not acceptable in meat. Not succulent cuts of meat, nor ground meat, nor meat used in pet food. Not no how, not nowhere.

Why would you want to? They’re already making progress on growing normal muscle cells in the lab without doing something that sounds so unappetizing.

Is this a whoosh? Or do you really think you could convince people to eat cancer tumors?

We’ve convinced them to eat sparrow saliva, cartilage, and intestines. It’s just the fine difference between “waste” and “fine gourmet”.

They taste odd at first but it grows on you.

Well, there is one advantage to growing cancerous cells in vitro: they usually don’t have a limit on how many times they can divide. Most ordinary cells from animals will stop dividing after a while (which is basically because of mechanisms that prevent them from becoming cancerous), but tumors have mutations that bypass or turn off those mechanisms. (Someone’s going to mention telomeres here, so I may as well do it. Telomeres are one mechanisms that prevents unlimited cell division, but it’s not the only one.) Since there’s no limit on tumor cell division, it’s much easier to grow tissues from them indefinitely.

However, this says nothing about how meat from vat-grown tumors would taste. I expect some would taste just like the tissue it comes from.

Leiomyomas are benign tumors, plus they’re firm and meaty. I’m working with the Jimmy Dean people right now on a line of myoma sausages and morning biscuit treats with yummy cheese and egg.

I really, really should have been a con man. Apparently everything I say is believable no matter how ridiculous. :slight_smile:

Oh, be realistic!
The idea that tumors could ever be price-competitive with ground beef is, at best, ‘visionary’.

McDonald’s alone sells 75 burgers per second. They use about 4 ounces of meat each. (Quarter-pounder patties are 4 ounces, regular ones are under 2 ounces, but most items use 2 patties.) So McDonald’s uses 18.75 pounds of beef per second!

Now a stage-3 breast cancer tumor is only 1/2 to 3/4 of an ounce typically. So you would need 6-8 breast cancer patients to provide enough meat for 1 McDonald’s burger. So 450-600 patients per second, just to supply McDonald’s. All the breast cancer tumors removed in a year wouldn’t supply McDonald’s for more than 3 weeks. Without even getting into the costs involved.

Y’all have grossed me out the back door. This is just wrong. Blech!!!
:slight_smile:

Oh, but some of us have more than one breast cancer, so you need to factor that into your equation.

He also needs to take into consideration that the OP was suggesting growing vat-meat from tumors, not just consuming tumors directly.

Now I’ve got Heart Shaped Box stuck on my head . . .

" . . . I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black" Blecccccch,