turkey alchemists related to 1883

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This was the subject line of some spam I got today. It intrigued me - not enough to open the spam, but I didn’t delete it yet either, since there are no attachments to the message.
I started thinking about **turkey alchemists related to 1883 **. It reminds me of South Park - the episode where the turkeys go insane - but I’m not entirely sure why. There’s also that 1883 Back to the Future thing, so I have this mental image of Michael J. Fox and Doc (what was that actor’s name?) running from a herd of insane turkeys. Alchemists, though? Isn’t that a Harry Potter thing? Well, sure. Dumbledore could probably use a time turner to go back to 1883, so that he could rescue Marty and Doc. I don’t know why he would, though - after all, they did just fine on their own. Even though Marty thinks Doc died, he really didn’t. Instead, he built a better time machine.

I still don’t really know what the subject means. I know what I think it means, but that doesn’t make much sense either. I’ll have to think on this a while longer.

2

No no. These were the alchemists that spent their lives trying to turn roast turkey into gold; of all alchemists, they were the least successful and until now, history has respected their embarassment by forgetting them entirely.

3

See, I’m thinking that the turkeys themselves were the alchemists, wearing little turkey suits and cravats with starched collars and old-fashioned white lab coats, with little turkey pince-nezs on their beaks. They’d run around and gobble a lot when somebody made a really cool discovery.

4

I would think of that process that turns turkey guts into oil. Black gold…