turkey alchemists related to 1883

This was the subject line of some spam I got today. It intrigued me - not enough to open the spam, but I didn’t delete it yet either, since there are no attachments to the message.
I started thinking about **turkey alchemists related to 1883 **. It reminds me of South Park - the episode where the turkeys go insane - but I’m not entirely sure why. There’s also that 1883 Back to the Future thing, so I have this mental image of Michael J. Fox and Doc (what was that actor’s name?) running from a herd of insane turkeys. Alchemists, though? Isn’t that a Harry Potter thing? Well, sure. Dumbledore could probably use a time turner to go back to 1883, so that he could rescue Marty and Doc. I don’t know why he would, though - after all, they did just fine on their own. Even though Marty thinks Doc died, he really didn’t. Instead, he built a better time machine.

I still don’t really know what the subject means. I know what I think it means, but that doesn’t make much sense either. I’ll have to think on this a while longer.

No no. These were the alchemists that spent their lives trying to turn roast turkey into gold; of all alchemists, they were the least successful and until now, history has respected their embarassment by forgetting them entirely.

See, I’m thinking that the turkeys themselves were the alchemists, wearing little turkey suits and cravats with starched collars and old-fashioned white lab coats, with little turkey pince-nezs on their beaks. They’d run around and gobble a lot when somebody made a really cool discovery.

I would think of that process that turns turkey guts into oil. Black gold…