Defrosting a frozen turkey in the refrigerator is stupid. It would take days to fully defrost. It would take a whole day just sitting out at room temperature anyway.
Yes, it takes days, but any faster method leads to a high chance of food poisoning.
Yeah if you are an idiot and leave it sitting out once it has thawed. Which a good majority of people are when it comes to cooking.
There is no “once it’s thawed”. It’s a gradual process that starts from the outside and works its way in. If you thaw it at room temperature the outside of the bird will be thawed, up to room temp and growing bacteria cultures hours before the inside is thawed. You have to make sure the outside never gets above 40 F. That can only happen in the refrigerator.
or in a frequently refilled ice bath. Hence, standing a bucket in the tub and periodically dumping ice into it. Takes about 24 hours to fully thaw a 12 pound bird.
Of course, I preferred raising my own turkeys, whenever we wanted one it meant a trip out to the field with an axe.
We invited a guy from mrAru’s boat over one thanksgiving, he didn’t realize when we mentioned fresh turkey exactly how fresh it was going to be … I think we traumatized the poor kid :smack:
That. Well, I mean I never flew somewhere to take care of horses, but thawing a turkey can hardly be the most preposterous favour a friend is going to ask from you.
I know a guy who took “friend” to a new level. He was present at a friend’s house when the police showed up with a warrant. There were illegal guns in the house and the owner of the guns had a record of two prior felonies. He was going to jail for a long time.
My friend stepped forward and confessed ownership of the guns. He served a little over two years of a 5-7 year sentence. While he was serving his time, the other guy disappeared.
So dealing with a turkey is no big deal, if you ask me.
What’s the point of that story, exactly? You know someone who did something incredibly stupid, so the OP should bend over backward to accommodate any request?
I guess my point was that the turkey thing seems a trivial friend-request. Obviously, everyone has different ideas about what a friend’s needs mean. 
If the person asks as if they are actually aware that they are asking for a favor (use of phrases like “I know it’s a lot to ask, but…”), it would be different. It’s the expectation that now you need to do this possibly big thing for them that is presumptuous, which is why I would assume that they don’t realize that it is a big thing.
Honestly. I bought a few raffle tickets a few years ago, as first prize was a nice adult bike. I won 3rd prize, which was a kid’s bike. When they called me, I told them to give the bike away to a child that would be thrilled to have it. “Really? You don’t want it? You could sell it, you know!” It took me several minutes to convince her that I really, really didn’t want the damn thing.
At least your friend didn’t say “Yeah, that’d be nice. Thanks. Make sure to brine it first.”
But, really I don’t understand why you didn’t just say “Sorry, I don’t have room in the fridge. . . any other ideas? Can you send someone over to pick it up?”
The irony of this is, if the ‘friend’ had said “yes, please cook it for me”, then the OP would have HAD to make room in the fridge to thaw it so he could cook it!