Do not think that just because we are in a group of people that you can embarrass me into eating something I simply do not care for. It will not happen. You’ve done this to me before, it didn’t work then and it won’t work in the future. I’m quite old enough to decided what I like and what I don’t like. I do not care for white meat, I prefer dark meat. I may take a sliver just to try it, but most of the time I completely by-pass it. Don’t look at me like I’m an idiot because you like it and I don’t. And don’t look hurt when I ream you a new one in front of guests because you keep insisting. I really don’t try to impress people and you know me well enough by now to know better than to intimidate me, especially in front of your family. So what? They are just people to me. Seems to me that by now, you would know better. Some people just never learn.
Well, at least now I feel better. Yes, this is dedicated to my hubby.
I hear you, ultress! I don’t really care for turkey either: it dries out your mouth so much that you need to drink half a glass of milk with every bite!
waits for Zenster/Fenris/Scylla/JavaMaven1 to show up and dictate the PROPER method of cooking juicy turkey-lurk
Mmmmmm turkey. I’ll take your share, ultress. Didn’t you do this rant before? Or am I crazy?
Yes, he’s being a brat for pressuring you. bad hubby. smacks on nose with newspaper
I was hoping this might have something to do with Istanbul.
Nope, haven’t done this rant before. I only have about 4 pit threads under my belt. I don’t usually start threads here. But thanks for remembering my name, even in the wrong context.
If Turkey is cooked properly, it shouldn’t dry out your mouth. That’s not to say that you’ll enjoy the taste, just that only turkey that’s made wrong will cause your mouth to dry out (it’s either too salty or overcooked).
As to the best method? I keep hearing good things about deep-frying, but I haven’t tried it. My current favorite is here. It’s Alton Brown’s method of brining and roasting a turkey. I made it for New Year’s and it was incredible. Guaranteed not to dry out your mouth! Only thing I’d change is to use a full onion, not a 1/2 and add a few celery stalk tops (the leafy part). Yum!
All that aside, people who try to force grownups to repeatedly try something that they’ve stated they don’t like should be beaten with a loaf of crusty french bread until they repent and promise to be good.
Fenris
Would you, could you, like Good Eats?
Try it, try it, you will see!
Would you like it with some beets?
Instanbul is Constantinople.
Not any more.
Why did Constantinople get the works?
That would be my business, naturally.
Of course that’s nobody’s business but the Turks.
And I’d venture a guess that Turkey doesn’t taste much worse than turkey. Sweet potatoes, peas, gravy… why don’t we have any holidays with decent food? Like maybe Pastrymas or Ice Cream Day.
You’re right.
Even Old New York was once New Amsterdam.
why’d they change it? i can’t say. people just liked it better that way.
–She Might Be Meenie (boy)
So it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople?
YES, Istanbul, not Constantinople.
And ultress, can I have your share?
(Aside to Fenris, our bird was cooked in a convection oven today. It was fabulous*. Moist and wonderful and…mmmm…leftovers…anyway, did the oven have much to do with that, or was it just a good bird?)
Need to convice your family to get an emu next year. 
“The red meat is an excellent alternative for health-conscious consumers who love the taste of traditional red meat, but desire lower cholesterol, fat, and calories”. From the American Emu Association’s About Emu Meat page.
One of the BIG reasons I love family get-togethers like this:
“Ooooooooooooooh - gramma, I’d LOVE to have some of your green-bean-casserole-with-canned-mushroom-soup-and-french-fried-onions, but I have so much stuff on my plate already…I’ll get some the next time it comes around. Oh, yeah…same with that jellied-cranberry-sauce-from-a-can that you sliced so nicely - I’ll catch that on its next go-round, too.”
Quite frankly, if your family (Did you REALLY say your husband???) is spending that much time looking at your plate, you need to turn the football game up a bit more…
In my day it was just Byzantium…