Turkey is useful for making the stuffing (wadding) and the gravy. THAT is my perfect Thanksgiving meal, stuffing and gravy. Followed by pie and macarons.
After all of these decades of gagging on the thought of turkey sandwiches, I never quite put my finger on the essence of the problem. And you have said it succinctly.
Fresh prepared turkey doesn’t disgust me, but it seems to undergo a permanent chemical change once it cools where it takes on the wet dog flavor. And this condition cannot be reversed. When my mom used to slip three-day-old turkey in recipes that normally had chicken (e.g. chicken-a-la-king), I instantly detected the vile substance and gagged.
The heavenly aroma still hung in the house. But it was gone, all gone! No turkey! No turkey sandwiches! No turkey salad! No turkey gravy! Turkey Hash! Turkey a la King! Or gallons of turkey soup! Gone, all gone!
Mole might work to cover the wet dog smell/taste 
This is how I feel about turkey. Big roasted slices as a main course? Bleah. It’s fine in biscuits with a slice of cheese the next day though.
Sons of bitches! Bumpuses!
While I didn’t used to “hate” turkey, it was never my favorite. Always dry and bland and just… yech. Until about 15 years ago and I happened across some random Food Network show that was talking about brine for a turkey. I made some notes and that year gave it a whirl. Of course, that made all the difference. Now that I’ve more-or-less perfected my brine, my turkey comes out wonderful every year. I’m a big fan of most of the Thanksgiving smorgasboard, but the turkey (my turkey, that is) is at the top of the list.
Yes. Done both of the above. Still tastes like wet dog smell.
Mrs. Mortimus is currently baking a turkey which she brined in who knows what for the past 24 hours. She had to steal a bottle of my precious homebrew stout for the brine. No idea what she’s doing with it since I’m not allowed in the kitchen at this point.
I’ll report back.
Three (?) years ago I purchased the necessary equipment to deep fry our turkey. That was cool, yet I haven’t done it again.
^ Burned down your garage, did you? A common lament.
Yup, seems like around here every year some bozo makes the news doing exactly that. They don’t bother to figure out how much of the hot oil the turkey is going to displace. Hot oil overflows the cooking pot, ends up starting a fire. Usually there is some alcohol involved somewhere it the cooking process.
The OP is wrong on all counts! 
- Wet dog smells wonderful, but in an “I want to hug you” way.
- Roast turkey also smells wonderful, but in a completely different, appetizing way.
- Roast turkey tastes just like it smells: delicious.
Heh, I actually set up my equipment midway between our house and barn after reading about the things that could go wrong.
Just giving everyone an update - once again my mother-in-law (for all COVID concerned, we live in the same town, and had been bringing them groceries weekly as they are almost 80 and in a high risk bracket, so no extra exposure) cooked another bland, near tasteless turkey, as she has had lo these many years. Thankfully, we brought the fresh braked bread and from scratch pumpkin pie, so there was plenty of goodness.
And the carcass of a once 18 lb turkey is now in my 5qt slow cooker, being rendered down into it’s purest, liquid form, which will make up for the one meal of underwhelming turkey I had to eat in it’s underprepared state. May you all have enjoyed whatever Thanksgiving centerpiece dish you ended up with today.
I like turkey but only when it’s cooked for holidays; I’m not a fan of sliced turkey.
Any chance of politely declining to get any turkey during the holidays, @Mortimus? Would people think less of you because it’s not your cup of tea?
No chance at all of that. Mrs. Mortimus cooked the turkey, it was only the two of us for the meal. I was pretty much obligated to eat some of it. It wasn’t that bad. No notable wet dog taste/smell. White meat was nice and moist but bland. She brined it in some sort of Cajun spices. Didn’t notice any cajun spice taste at all. But the dressing she made had small bits of andouille in it and was fantastic! Had thirds of that
But now we have this huge pile of leftovers to eat up. I’ll likely gag down another hunk of turkey breast tonight just because I hate to see food go to waste. The rest will likely get frozen in vacuum sealed food bags only to languish in the back of the deep freezer until the next time it gets cleaned out.
This years turkey sad to say was not great, 11lbs in the oven for 4 hours and was still not falling off the bone. A struggle to break down the carcass the drumsticks and wings no one really likes anyway.
Turkey soup is wretched offal. I salvaged some meat and tossed the carcass in the can good riddance.
Sorry butterball bird hope you had some good clucks in the sun while still alive
This year’s turkey was just a turkey breast. First time I’ve ever not made a whole bird. And not just a turkey breast, but a boneless one – egads! Turned out great. I didn’t do anything special to it except dust it with some spices (no salt, as the bird was already injected with a salt water solution as many commercial birds are these days), and I cooked it to 158 (not the 170 on the packaging – normally I would just go to 150, but I took it a little higher for my wife and kids in case they don’t like it quite that low.) There’s really not much that you need to do to a turkey except not overcook it. I’ve had it smoked, I’ve had it deep-fried, I’ve had it brined all sorts of ways, I’ve had it cooked in a bag, I’ve had it basically braised and, at the end of the day, I just like it roasted. Stick it in the oven and wait until you hit the temps you want. Preferably spatchcock or roast it in pieces to better monitor temps of various parts that finish at different times.
Today I found some frozen okra, so with the leftovers, I fried that up with some of the leftover turkey gravy, added creole spices to it, and the holy trinity of onions, celery, and peppers, for an ersatz turkey gumbo type of thing. Delicious! And done in about 15 minutes. I should have some rice to go with it, but it’s good straight.
I thought about getting a half-breast this year, but I found a 12-pound turkey.
How do you cook the stuffing, when there’s nothing to stuff?