This year my sister cooked a utility-grade turkey for Thanksgiving. (This is Canadian Thanksgiving, celebrated in October.) While she was preparing it, she reached in and pulled out the tucked-in bits. One of these appeared to be the neck: it was tubular and long and pink. At its gaping mouth (the point of decapitation, I assume), what appeared to be teeth protruded from what appeared to be gums. They resembled human teeth but were longer and thinner. About five of them. Exposed almost to the root.
Huh? Do turkeys have teeth? And if not, what resembles teeth and grows from a turkey’s upper neck? And if nothing, then what would explain these horrid protrusions? (I’m hoping no one tells me other animals may have got blended with the turkey at some rendering plant. Unlikely, since the turkey was otherwise perfectly avian, and was a discrete unit.)
Saying these things were teeth may sound deluded, even hysterical. My wife, my sister and I all agreed that we were looking at teeth, so I have the confidence of being either correct or not alone in my hysteria.
And, in case you’re curious, we did in fact retain our appetites. My sister had prepared too good a meal for us not to enjoy it. Plus the trauma of seeing teeth growing from a turkey’s esophagus compelled us to drink a fair amount of wine, so I’m sure the liquid courage helped us through.