Turtle in the road

[CalMeacham]

If you find a turtle in a busy road, what is the best action to take so that it might live long and prosper?

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain. Time to die.”

…

[jayjay]

@Khadaji

Otherwise I’ll say a prayer to whatever gods watch over turtles and hope it makes it.

That would be The Great Om…

[Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew]

@Captain Carrot

Turtle in the road, turtle in the road, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, turtle in the road.

Don’t tell me I’m the only one who thought of Turkey in the Straw.

For me it was

There’s a turtle in the road
His brain is squirmin’ like a toad…

[Angel_of_the_Lord]

Saw one walking across the parking lot at work once. Swerved to avoid it, pulled over, and went to take it to the pond (which I figured was the only place it COULD really be from, yanno?) that was in front of our building. As I pulled over, someone else ran over it. Cracked its shell, mangled it badly.

So, instead of taking it to the pond, I ended up taking my sword out from my trunk and finishing the job.

[Fear_the_Turtle]

When I first started working out here, one of the first mandatory training sessions I had to attend was for the Desert Tortoise (which are, or were, endangered or threatened). We were taught:

While driving on desert roads, DO keep an eye out for tortoises crossing. If you encounter one and have plenty of room to pass, drive slowly and carefully around it. If you don’t have room to pass, stop and let the tortoise move across the road of its own accord. If the tortoise is on a paved road and in immediate danger, pull over to a safe place. Walk over to the tortoise, letting it see you approaching. Lift it slowly and gently, keeping it level and low to the ground. Move it to a safe place off the road, no more than 100 yards away, in the same direction it was traveling. Carefully set it down, preferably in the shade of a shrub. It is imperative not to frighten the tortoise so that it does not void its vital internal water supply. DON’T take it home and DON’T feed it.

[Cervaise]

@fervour

If you find a turtle in a busy road, what is the best action to take so that it might live long and prosper?

If you should meet the turtle on the road, kill him.

</turtle buddha>

[Shoeless]

@danceswithcats

Years ago, when I lived in Levittown, PA, I saw a snapper making his way across State Road away from the Delaware River. Given the amount of truck traffic on that highway, he was moments away from becoming turtle pate. I stopped in the road and grabbed his shell at the 4 and 8 o’ clock positions to say away from that long neck, picked him up (he was a heavy sumbitch) and tossed him gently back into the grass on the east side of the highway.

Traffic which had stopped gave approving honks and thumbs up for the 60 second turtle rescue.

A few years ago I was on a business trip in Iowa City, and was sitting at a light at an intersection just off the interstate near a truck stop, when I noticed something moving across the road and realized it was a turtle. Next thing I know, a huge semi comes turning through the intersection headed straight for the turtle. I swear to og I had no idea turtles could move that fast – that thing was hauling ass to get out of the way! And yes, it did make it across without getting squooshed.

[jayjay]

@Cervaise

If you should meet the turtle on the road, kill him.

</turtle buddha>

“I put the turtle down hours ago. Why are you still carrying it?”

[Bookkeeper]

@jayjay

That would be The Great Om…

Or possibly Great A’Tuin (although it’s not clear whether he is actually a diety).

[elelle]

@Biffy the Elephant Shrew

For me it was

There’s a turtle in the road
His brain is squirmin’ like a toad…

Uh, heh, and oh dear, that one’s gonna have a frightening long life now in my brainpan as I see turtles tryin’ to cross…

The basic answer has been told, especially by CannyDan, but, I was raised to help turtles cross the road. Good childhood memories of biologist Dad skidding the VW camper full of kids to a halt, and running out to help a turtle cross, putting it on the other side, to continue it’s desired journey. I always do that if it’s not a dangerous roadway.

A sweet memory is on a country road in Mississippi, an old pickup truck, parked on the side of the road. A very elderly guy in overalls was out in the road, picking up a box turtle to help it across, moving slow. It was so sweet because he took the time, and those box turtles can live 40-50 years, sometimes to 100 years.

In that light, if a turtle is hit by a car, it’s amazing how much repair can be done now by a good wildlife veterinarian. The shell can be mended using modern orthodontic braces, and wires tightened to get the shell to heal. It takes a long time, but, if you do find a turtle with a damaged shell, and have a good wildlife shelter in the area, the turtle can be saved. Our local wildlife shelter is astute about returning the turtle to it’s original habitat after treatment.